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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I am a drunk idiot...sorry for the puesdo topic hijack
Starzjourney
♀ Member
Member # 41287
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today, 2 years since I remarried my STBX re-loaded...is self pity abnormal?

On some sober, realistic level of self-awareness I know that I am better off.

Is it the loss of my innocence...the belief that somewhere deep inside everyone is good and that if you encourage the good, if you fertilize the good that somehow that good will win....

I don't know WTF I'm talking about...back to drowning my sorrows, playing my pity song and wishing the day would just hurry the fuck up and get over with...

Sorry to offend...


Posts: 146 | Registered: Nov 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs)))

Let's remember that drinking and posting to social media don't mix.

Just let yourself have the mouse so you can lurk. Lol

I'm sorry you are having a rough day.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Starzjourney
♀ Member
Member # 41287
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs)))

Thanks...

Let's remember that drinking and posting to social media don't mix.

I thought this was my safe place to be weak...

Just let yourself have the mouse so you can lurk.

Roger that...I forgot for a minute that even though it's my journey there are rules one must adhere to...

[This message edited by Starzjourney at 1:10 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 146 | Registered: Nov 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Starz)))

This is your safe place. Just don't venture to other 'retribution' sites and post alcohol fueled vengeance like I almost did a few weeks ago


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought this was my safe place to be weak...

Here yes, but other places not so good.
Have a good cry, then get some sleep. Things will look a little better after you have some rest.
(((Starzjourney)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also to respond to your questions, self pity is not abnormal. The realisation that you invested so many years of your life on someone so undeserving will result in moments of self pity and anger.

I think its normal to project your values onto others. If you are a good person who sees the best in people its hard to accept that the recipient does not share them. My hope that my x would one day grow up and be what I saw as his potential is what kept me in a shitty relationship for more than a decade. Unfortunately the only thing that was special about him was my belief in him.

Now that I have some distance from him I can see just how average, even below average, he truly is.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Starzjourney
♀ Member
Member # 41287
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just don't venture to other 'retribution' sites and post alcohol fueled vengeance like I almost did a few weeks ago

Here yes, but other places not so good.

Not that drunk...


Posts: 146 | Registered: Nov 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not that drunk...

Oh, honey, then you aren't doing it right.
Go get you a bottle of tequila, unhook your keyboard first so you can't send any craziness on FB. Then make you a few margaritas, or just grab some limes and salt!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Starzjourney
♀ Member
Member # 41287
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, honey, then you aren't doing it right.
Go get you a bottle of tequila, unhook your keyboard first so you can't send any craziness on FB.

Captain is my best friend today...those clear liquors would insure public social media self-humiliation...

I even try to do drunkedness right...


Posts: 146 | Registered: Nov 2013
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have imbibed more than my fair share of alcohol since I've had reason to be on this site. As someone said to me here, I don't condone it, but I understand. I think I've done some of my best introspection with a few in me too and have posted some of that here. Drunk statements are sober thoughts, or however that saying goes. Just as long as its not your only outlet. Not judging you or implying it is, rather I regularly remind myself of this to keep me moving, exercising, and doing what I need to do to make me a better me.

Oh yeah, don't post anything elsewhere (FB, etc.) that you may regret after a few cocktails. If you need to get it out, drop it here

Cheers Starzjourney!


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1278 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is your safe place. Just don't venture to other 'retribution' sites and post alcohol fueled vengeance like I almost did a few weeks ago

t/j oh, I plan on doing that soon. Been too busy with work and school. Biding my time, and I will be stone cold sober so I don't have any typos when I do it.
I will make sure that anytime someone bings or googles Shrek's name, that nothing but cheating websites will show up!
Bam, how is THAT gonna help for her employment record!
end of t/j


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol Starz....this IS your safe place. That's why we are reminding you not to venture out to other sites while enjoying your drunkenness.

Just like Hurts said....


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Starzjourney
♀ Member
Member # 41287
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2x4's welcome...BUT....just as I am sure I would never handle my marital issues with lies, cheating and betrayal (and proved with 20 years of fidelity to a lying, cheating betrayer)...I am pretty darn sure that even drunk no man has ever been able to talk me into compromising my integrity and the Captain doesn't have that kind of control either...

In all seriousness...seriously...I'm good...and thank you all...

I shoot pool...league tonight...going to go sober up now...pity party over.


Posts: 146 | Registered: Nov 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We all deserve a pity party now and again. Glad you had some fun to go along with it!


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I spent the first two weeks after DDay doing nothing but coming home from work (how I made it there I am not sure), pouring a big glass of vodka, laying on the floor positioned so my straw was permanently in my mouth and I didn't need to move to drink. I literally did not move other than to suck on the straw and refill.

Fantastic coping skills lol


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 2:37 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

pouring a big glass of vodka, laying on the floor positioned so my straw was permanently in my mout

^^^ that was my go to coping mechanism for the past decade or so. Fortunately on dd and immediately there after I couldn't get drunk no matter how much I imbibed.

It was a good wake up call for me as my 'go to' no longer worked. It forced me to develop more healthy coping strategies. I still fall back to it now and then, only to be reminded that it doesn't work.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
justjim
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I even try to do drunkedness right...

I am truly sorry you're hurting, but...

that made me laugh.

Thank you!


Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the belief that somewhere deep inside everyone is good and that if you encourage the good, if you fertilize the good that somehow that good will win....

Drunk or not, I understand what you are trying to get across here.

No, the good does not always win . . .like in those corny after schools shows we watched as kids.

There are people who don't give a crap about what is good or doing right.

And they will crush people that think like you and me.


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 620 | Registered: Mar 2003
Topic Posts: 19

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