I hear you. Our ddays are close and Valentines when it is still so raw is hard. I can't imagine having an anniversary to deal with too.
But I think you are setting yourself up if you just let it be in his court. It is really a no win for both of you situation. You will be upset with no recognition and upset in a different way if he does something too. If you read over in Wayward many are stressing about how to handle it also. Maybe if you talk about it ahead of time it will help.
We are going out to dinner Saturday. I booked the babysitter and told him to pick a restaurant - we are going out to celebrate our birthdays, not Valentines. He chose the place we got married at. Ugh! I thought it was sweet he thought of it because it hadn't occurred to me. But now I am nervous I will have a meltdown at the restaurant. I told him tonight I was concerned how I will react. He suggested going somewhere else but I just want him to know it may be an issue.
Tell him your concerns, maybe you can come up with a plan that won't hurt as much.