My story may be bad, but I know there are many of us out there whose WS's did some really F'ked up crap.
Please share your horror stories.
That's all messed up. I'm so sorry for you.
Told me later that she chose to leave on Thanksgiving (even though she was prepared to leave at the first of the month) to "make it hurt worse".
Yeah. She's a real winner.
Took our girls on paydates with OWs children before the affair was even in the open.
Gave OW my phone number so she could harass me via text when she found out he and I were still physically intimate - she was so betrayed. Gag.
Told me he felt like he had been cheating on OW with me. Told me that the thought of her moving in with another man was harder on him than the thought of me moving on.
Yeah, he was a real peach during that time. Hard to believe we are in R.
[This message edited by PositiveAttitude at 9:48 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]
Basically, my xH attempted to kill me, a fact that he admitted months later. He and the OW were hoping I would just die and let them get on with their happy, happy magical lives.
Sucks to be them 'cause I'm still here.
Brought OW to our house and had sex with her. Didn't have the decency to use a condom even though their tryst was planned in advance
But mostly, not looking after me while I was hospitalized for serious complications while undergoing IVF. In fact, refusing to talk about our miscarriage.... Seems OW was more deserving of his attention and care at that time.
Hugs to you all.
Asked me to comfort him when he realized he had been in live with another woman years ago and never took the opportunity to at least keep her in his life.....he was with me when this opportunity arose.
No longer together
"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."
Married OW overseas and had 3 OC's with her.
She stayed at our house overseas slept in my bed, used all my perfume, used all my things.
Asked me for my salary to pay his employees which included OW
Asked me to buy some suits for his sister, but they were for the OW
Asked me to help him buy clothes for his nieces,but they were for the OC's.
Took a home equity loan out on our house to buy OW and OC's an apartment.
Gave me a bunch of scarves that belonged to OW
Now, he is blaming me that our kids don't respect him and that I damaged the kids so he wants to be separated. Telling me I'm a neglectful mother.
Whew, that's only the beginning!
What's the worst? I think the gaslighting, blameshifting and false hope I was given and I fell for it all.
The worst? I didn't kick him to the curb IMMEDIATELY.
WH started his EA with my close friend during the final year of my dissertation - I have been working on a Ph.D. for years, and it is the biggest achievement of my life. It apparently never even occurred to him even once during this time that marital infidelity might not be helpful in terms of me finishing my Ph.D.
DDay was 2 weeks before (what was supposed to be) my final oral defense date. He got drunk and stayed out all night and got physical with her, and then came home and confessed. Needless to say, the situation totally fucked up my life to the point where I had to cancel my defense. The whole dissertation process was utterly disrupted.
7 months later I am still not finished. Two of those 7 months I spent basically lying in bed in the dark, crying, in a massive depression.
But I am still working on it. Right now I plan to defend in March. But it has been scary. There have been many times over the last 7 months during which I thought I would not make it, that his infidelity was not only going to ruin our marriage, my trust in other people, etc., but also my entire career.
And this is the part of his affair I am not sure I can ever forgive him for. Everybody who has an affair is selfish and thoughtless about something. But he was basically willing to throw away not only our marriage but my life's work, my future career prospects, my livelihood, so he could get some ego kibble and a grope on a couch. He never even thought about me or my Ph.D. while he was was with her. It's so unbelievably evil and bad that I *still* can't quite come to terms with it all these months later. It's something I personally would not have been able to do to my worst enemy, much less the person in the world who loved me the most.
And let's not even get started on my "friend", who did the same thing...
Sigh. Tonight has been a hard night. I feel pretty unloved and not valued by anybody right now. How could any person do such a thing to a friend or a loved one? I can't understand it. And yet, they both did it to me.
[This message edited by TheGarden at 11:08 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]
1. Had me wax his back hair so he could look pretty for reunion fuckfest with recycled OW of 2007 fame
2. Had me pay for foreign currency for entertaining above mentioned OW. I can no longer say I have never paid for sex anymore, even though I didn't get to receive the services
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
About 9 months later I was finally ready to give up and talk divorce, he started an argument, faked a fall and called the police. I had to spend 2 nights in jail for domestic violence, I've never even gotten a traffic ticket before. Now I'm in diversion for a year.
The best part.... my son's are better, and I'm divorced! :)
When my DD told me of a dream she had when I was out of town, about walking in our bedroom in the middle.of the night and there being a lady in my bed with dad, he freaked out on her and screamed IT WAS A FUCKING DREAM, WHY ARE YOU BRINGING IT UP. After talking to my DD who was around ten at the time, pretty sure it was real.
Again freaked out on my DD calling her a big mouth for telling me ow baked her dad a birthday cake.
When DD was in hospital to rule out lymphoma, he excused himself to go to the restroom and tell ow, within 2 minutes of
the Dr mentioning cancer.
Not to mention the numerous times he told my kids, I don't know what your mom is up to, anytime I was five minutes late from going to grocery store or running errands.
He also told me I disgusted and repulsed him and he hadn't loved me in a looong time.
[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 12:34 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]
two month affair with a supposed friend....more like a filthy whore
R.....it's going well (so far)
Oh and he didn't do anything when that bitch filed charges against me stating I had choked her when she kept after my husband. I didn't touch that whore but yelled at her and all her previous fucking professors and her car fucking at work and at park and ride.
He is a coward. The bitches mother said she couldn't understand why my husband didn't stop me.. I said I don't understand how he fucked her ugly ass and why he's not beating the shit out of her.
Thank god I had good lawyers and I didn't lose my professional license or job...
So sorry sending Hugs!!!