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User Topic: Most f'ked up, mean, and vindictive thing your WS did.
solus sto
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Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't even begin to narrow it down to one. One contender: he gave me an STD (well, two) and, during the ENTIRE YEAR I was sick with an oropharyngeal infection that eluded diagnosis and caused me enormous pain and disability, never bothered to even whisper into our philandering (and likely secret-keeping) doctor's ear to check for STDs.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8841 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He decided that his happiness was more important than mine. He decided that my life was not worth authenticity. That the life I had was good enough. That the marriage I had was all that I deserved.

And when I asked him why, he said, "Because I enjoyed it".

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 783 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He saw what one did to me and then did again....

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.

Posts: 5261 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm...hands down, that would be when, despite an agreed upon MSA as to the dissolution of property, he went into the marital home while I was at work (he was already living with Sparkle Panties) ON MY BIRTHDAY and robbed it.

Took just about anything that wasn't nailed down up to and including ripping the flat screen TV off our bedroom wall.

He left me with the family room furniture, kitchen items and the bed in the spare room. That was it.

I got my lawyer and the police involved and you guessed it - it was a civil matter. They did, however, give me "permission" to change the locks.

Yeah. That would be it.

ETA: Then months later, he asked me if I wanted to "buy" our bedroom furniture from him. That would be the furniture on which he bedded several of his OW. He has big, steel balls I tell ya.


[This message edited by ajsmom at 9:20 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH was so mad that his world was a wreck the first two weeks after Dday and felt I had no reason to be upset about his EA. So, one day after a rage (day)....he told his AP's best friend (her new female boss and now my WH friend too) to punch me in the face.

See...she was complaining about customers and wanted to punch one in the face, so his response was can you punch my wife in the face? Her response was as long as you don't call the cops.

We are a middle class family. I was so angry...that just reminds me of some white trash Jerry Springer shit.

Talk about disrespect.

Me-BW 39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 10yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 946 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He took me to our honeymoon and anniversary spot for our 21st anniversary. We had a wonderful time at dinner and then sat in the plaza and talked about how good life was. Later at the hotel, he snuck out of bed, went into the bathroom and started texting OW. This sounds trivial as I type it but it hurt so much at the time.

He also did things with her kids and left ours home. Later he accused me of ruining his friendship with her oldest son.

eta-Jimbo, that is one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard. (((hugs)))

[This message edited by million tears at 9:31 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.

Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmmm....I think it would have to be that he spent a lot of time and energy to finally convince me to participate in threesomes with other men. It turns out that one of his primary reasons was to get blackmail info in order to keep me quiet in case I ever found out about his LTA with OW.

So, he essentially pimped me out for blackmail purposes.

He didn't realize that I would also find out about his other secret life - anonymous hookups with other men. That knowledge rendered his attempted blackmail ineffective.

Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

Posts: 1740 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
♀ New Member
Member # 40533
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told me with a straight face that he would be moving to India with her, with no idea of what he'd do for work, and that it wouldn't be a big deal to see his daughters once a year, if that. We had that awesome conversation on a trip to Paris shortly after DDay.

Me: 38 yo BW
Him: 40 yo WH
2 daughters (8, 5); married 15 yrs
DD: 6/2/13 (5 mo EA/PA with coworker)

Posts: 49 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He gave me plastic surgery for my birthday....I had never mentioned it...I have had my face reconstructed from injury. He felt I could use more. And after my surgery, he drank downstairs watching baseball, (he never watches baseball) and didnt follow drs instructions. I was grossly swollen for it....Said he forgot. Dr was furious.

He has never confessed anything about anything even tho I have seen things in person....He is all semantics.
Hes manipulative. Tells sympathy stories about himself to make me feel sorry for him and react in a way hes wanting me to react.
He continues to lie.
I feel every word from his mouth is fake or self serving.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 11:05 AM, February 13th (Thursday)]

a trigger yesterday

Posts: 948 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On a Thanksgiving night she crawled through the doggie door at my house, pulled a gun and stole my dog...


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor

Posts: 5982 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not long before DDay, I was at a very posh hotel for two weeks near by for training. I invited WW up for an 'adult' weekend, but she forgot and then planned to take son to a school nearby. I thought she was just so dedicated to our kids.

A short time later, the family went camping for a week about 45 mins from the house. She wouldn't say overnight at the campsite because she was 'studying for a test' she was taking a week later. Again, I thought she was so dedicated.

Little did I know, she just didn't want to be with me.

D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern

Posts: 489 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
♂ Member
Member # 31891
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On July 4th, DS12 and I were out of town visiting my family in VA. WW was supposed to come with us, but because of DD#1, decided to stay home.
WW and OM ended up having a two day stay at a B&B. WW lied stating she watch fireworks with her BFF. BFF covered for her.
Several weeks later, DS12 And I go stay with my parents for two days. OM and WW had both days off. Put a hidden camera inside my home, and had a PI follow them. OM comes in my home, sucks face with the WW in my living room, with his hands grabbing her Ass. PI followed them to one of our favorite restaurants, then got pictures of OM driving my truck. Busted.

Posts: 480 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Maryland
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Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's really hard to narrow it down because it was years of emotional abuse and gaslighting. But two things that stick out for me

One - telling me he wanted to be with me, work on the marriage and us going to MC while he was having an undisclosed LTA with a married woman he met on AfF.

Two and worst - the week I went back to work after having our daughter, he invited OW over to the house, let her hold my baby, then proceeded to have sex with OW on our living room floor. Our daughter was nearly stillborn, in the NICU for 2 weeks and I was an anxious mess about having to go back to work. He also called OW from the hospital and was having sex with her while I was pregnant. We're divorcing now, in case you're wondering.

BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 251 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many to choose from....

He failed to tell me BEFORE we were married that he was a bisexual cross dresser and like to parade in front of the windows in my clothes.

He threatened to punch me in the face when I said I had questions about his cheating.

For the third year I was hospitalized for uncontrollable migraines, he had to ask his friends if he should visit me in the hospital.

He told me"at least if you had Cancer we'd know what to do" (asshole was doing the neighborhood gutter slut while I was throwing up daily)

When they discovered that I had 11 spots of skin cancer (7 lesions on my face) he stated "did they get all those things off your face yet?"

After I moved out he has never tried to see our grandchild... POS!

DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1208 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 34
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