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Newest Member: 44years (45365)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Phone Advice
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My stepmom gave a nice man my number. He called but I didn't answer because I am shy and have a phobia about phones. Not a great first impression. When people say they chat with someone on a phone before meeting them, what do they talk about??? Any good topics/questions to help break the ice and relieve my anxiety? Thank you.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 492 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I generally have a few questions in the back of my head just in case there is a "lull" in the conversation.

"Where did you grow up?"
"What kind of music/books do you enjoy?"
*school
*travel
*hobbies
*kids
*sports

I'm just looking for commonalities, usually the conversation flows pretty easily as you are getting to know each other.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could you pretend you're interviewing him, like for Rolling Stone or something? Casual, human, and not at all "OMG I'm talking to someone famous!" It's just a conversation like you'd have in a waiting room.

Start with, "I admit to feeling a bit awkward. I didn't realize my mother had taken up matchmaking. So how did you meet her?" A little bit vulnerable (but in a way that doesn't harm you), a joke, and a question. Then let him talk and ask follow-up questions if there's a lull. Limit it to 15-20 minutes then check your gut. I bet you'll have more questions after a day or so.

Your mom's kind of cute for doing this. But if it becomes intrusive, be sure to tell her that it's freaking you out and you'd like to meet people the old-fashioned way -- at a bar, at church, or both.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask him what he enjoys doing in the area? If he picks something you have been to you can both share your experiences.

You can talk about what you enjoy doing like going to the movies or other hobbies

I am not a phone person and when you meet someone things are different so I would see how things naturally flow but I think in your case a shorter conversation is better and not am indication if he is interested.

Have fun and see how things go. To figure out if you like him might take at least a few dates.

Good luck!


Posts: 1009 | Registered: Jul 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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