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Newest Member: HurtCat (45338)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What a difference a year makes
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 1:07 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This time last year I was a broken, bewildered, sobbing mess. I booked myself on a holiday to Bali for 2 reasons:
1. Its close
2. Every time I have travelled overseas I was cheated on so I wanted to force myself to face a phobia.

My trip was 5 nights. I spent most of those nights talking to him. Used up my Skype credit, trying so desperately to understand WTF just happened, why it was really over this time, who the F was she, what was he doing in 2007 when he was first F'ing her, how any of his behavior was ever ok, who the hell am I without him, why the F didn't I kick his sorry ass to the curb years ago, how the F did it become 'normal' to say 'promise you won't cheat on me this time when you travel', but mostly how do I live without the person I thought I would share my life with.

One year later and I am back in Bali. So many experiences to have - learning to scuba dive for Valentines Day. I find myself thinking WTF did I ever see in him. How did I think I deserved so little in life. Thinking back on the heart broken messages makes me and


My life is so much more peaceful now, I am in charge of my own destiny and happiness. I look back on what was and now find myself wondering how I ever put up with it.

I like this light at the end of the tunnel, its very illuminating .

There is still healing to do but that's ok, I've got this.

Strength, love and peace to you all.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is still healing to do but that's ok, I've got this.

I'm doing a happy dance right now HBIM.

I didn't believe it when they said it to me and I'm sure you didn't either but NC and detachment really works.

Once your BS fog clears and you see exactly what we were fighting for its kind of surreal. That guy? THAT guy? Really?


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17492 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonderful update, hurts! I'm more than a little envious of you being in Bali. Enjoy yourself!


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
sheila0304
Member
Member # 25041
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love it when a BS realizes they deserve better and wondering why they put up with the nonsense. If only we could bottle it....

Posts: 1175 | Registered: Aug 2009
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love it when a BS realizes they deserve better and wondering why they put up with the nonsense. If only we could bottle it....
but we wouldn't make any money from it, we'd give it away for FREE!

So happy to read your update, Hurts! So glad you can recognize the miles you've come in your journey.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3208 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks y'all. The support that is given on this site is invaluable to recovering.

Just finished the theory component of the scuba course . As a smoker, who likely has a cavity and is prone to shallow breathing thanks to anxiety, I am so gonna die .

Did I mention that I have a phobia of the ocean......

Oh well.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Violated
♀ Member
Member # 21239
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure a few thousand of us would love to be with you and hold your hand !

I hope you have a fantastic time


Divorced 10/2013

Posts: 548 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: West Coast
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 4:55 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So happy for you!

Your post brings hope for healing.

I find myself wishing for time to pass quickly, wishing for it to be next year.

Waiting for that light.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divor


Posts: 1421 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
Topic Posts: 9

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