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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: New understanding for murderers
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Shutup  Posted: 1:21 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you've ever seen forensic files or similar murder stories, you know it's usually one spouse killing the other, often due to infidelity. Sometimes it's the selfish-ass wayward . But now that I'm going through D I kinda feel for the BS that tries it. I mean it's like you're between a rock and a hard spot because either they abandoned you to struggle or you have to chose to either stay with someone mistreating/abusing you and setting a bad example for your kids, or you can go live at a lower socioeconomic status while your kids get shuffled around or mourn the loss of a parent. But if the WS died there'd be no custody to share and the lifestyle might even improve with life insurance money. They wouldn't be able to scar the kids emotionally because they could just be martyred as some great dad before the truth came out. So I can see why people might try to orchestrate that.

I'm not saying I'd do it. I'm not saying you should do it. I just spared a thought for BSes that went that route today and thought I'd just share.


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do find myself having a better understanding of how someone can kill due to rage/abuse.

More often though I end up feeling envious that most murderers get less punishment/hard time than I did......


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 740 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I watch a lot of ID. There have been cases on there where I cheer for the BS murdering the WS. (I don't normally condone murder, but there have been 1 or 2 where I do)

This one in particular: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1254094/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know, right?????

I'd never do it, either. In fact, I have had two different people offer to do it for me. I couldn't live with that on my conscience, although if my ex ever does something to my kids you can be sure I'll regret telling those people no.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9707 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto Nature Girl.

And to quote Downton Abbey
Cora: We all have bad feelings. It's acting on those feelings that make us bad.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1796 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Google: Betty Broderick

[This message edited by one2ndchance at 7:30 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura Rogers, she is a hero, and I understand.

Betty Broderick, I am not so sure. Yeah, her husband Dan was a dickweed, but I don't feel the murder was justified. She wasn't an abused wife. She felt she got screwed in the divorce, but not really. I lived in San Diego at the time this happened. I am sorry, $9,036.00 tax free a month, a $650,000.00 home for Betty that Dan bought and paid for, seems like it was fair (and this was in the late '80's). Sure, it wasn't the lifestyle she was used to, but that is what happens in divorce and most people have to tone down their lifestyle.

I have sympathy and compassion for Laura Rogers, not so much Betty Broderick. Betty should have gone NC. Everyone would have been better off.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 7:52 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9702 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura Rogers was protecting her kid. I don't know anyone that wouldn't shoot the bastard.
If I had absolutely nothing to lose, which I have plenty, well let's just say there is a lot of desert here and I'm awfully close to the border.
All "funning" aside, everybody has a breaking point. Everyone is capable of murder. We all have different snapping points.
I don't feel a bit sorry for a WS that pushed his/her BS to that point and paid with his/her life. I feel sorry for the BS for not leaving before he/she got to that point, and I feel sorry if there are any children involved.
Sometimes fear/terror can keep a person in the M long after they should have cut and ran.
Unless I've lived in another's terror, I won't judge.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 9:05 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2263 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never heard of Laura Rogers until now: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43631-2004Nov11.html

God bless her & her daughter. And that poor baby.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9707 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About 10-15 years ago there was a women in Texas who ran over hr WS ... three times! Here is a wiki link to the story http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_David_Lynn_Harris

At the time, before dday, I thought it was humorous in a morbid kind of way. And I thought the claim that she did not remember exactly what she did was silly (with wiki article does not cover this, but I recall it from news stories at that time).

After dday, oh did I ever understand!! In that moment, confronting her WS and his whore, she went crazy. Yep, been there done that. Luckily I was not behind the wheel of a car at the time. Instead I just launched across the room and tried to choke the bitch. Not my proudest moment and not something I tell people, but yes it happened. I was not in control when it happened, I just knew I wanted to kill the stupid bitch because of what she had done to my life and to my child. But I did regain my senses and the end result was basically a shouting match.

So I get it.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17638 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I so understand how a BS can snap especially if dealing with unremorseful spouse. If some BS can kill themselves due to the hurt and pain felt what do you think can stop them from killing the WS?

I remember on dday I was screaming at my ex, he told me to stop screaming at him. My response 'You should be happy that's all I'm doing. I could kill you right now and claim insanity.'

So much hurt, destruction and innocent lives shattered!


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 348 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw one last night were the WW killed the BS And then she and the AP went off and married totally different peoeple?

What in the entire fyck is that about? How she just kill her husband then not even be with the AP? It took about 20 years, but they caught up with them and they are both serving time now.


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 12

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