Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: whatdoido21 (45321)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Short survey
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. He tried to cheat with me. I met him in graduate school and he was already dating a girl in the class. I told him he had to break it off with the other girl before I'd ever entertain seeing him. He did. I made him wait several weeks and then we started dating.

2. In retrospect, I think he did. He was engaged before I met him and occasionally he'd mention this other woman he had slept with (in the context of our sexual history). The former fiancee was a college girlfriend, so I realized after I found out about his A that the two relationships had to overlap. Don't know why I didn't put that together before DDay.

3. No. I'm firm on NC. Besides, if it's COW, she knows.


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No I was his first relationship according to him
2. No, see above
3. If she asked me directly or wanted to know why we broke up, etc. if we didn''t have any sort of relationship i''d just look vindictive. DS is so young that a good relationship with both of them would be very important to me. But, I wouldn't lie

[This message edited by careerlady at 3:05 PM, February 13th, 2014 (Thursday)]


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. In a previous M, no. I did not know. I knew when he was very young he was a player. He grew up a lot over the 12 years and no longer acted like an arrogant idiot when I agreed to start dating him.
2. I found out after DD from one of his sisters that he cheated and abandoned his 1st wife for his 2d wife. His 2d wife cheated on him and did him so dirty. He was devastated. When we started dating, he was recovering from the trauma of his 2d wife's A and abandonment. She did the same things to him that 10 years later he did to me.
3. If he remarries Shrek, she knows he is a cheater because she is his AP. Once we sell the house, I will completely disappear on his cheatinass. Therefore, I will not know anything about his life. God help the poor woman he marries after me....except Shrek, she deserves whatever she gets.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Yes.
2. before, not after.
3. No. Because I would not have listened. I was 'special' y'see? As described in "She's Special" - 2nd article down.

http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/a-vain-fantasy-his-one-true-love-the-exception-that-confirms-the-rule/



I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5608 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
LisaP
♀ Member
Member # 15088
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

NO. He was from a different state and recently moved to my area. I did not meet anyone from his past until our wedding day.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

No. He was never married prior and again, I didn't know any of his friends from past in order to find out this kind of information.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

He is remarried and the way I see it, it's none of my business. If she had come to me and asked, I would have been honest with her. I suspect she may have unknowingly been an OW. They have been together for 4 years + now and I have never met her. He keeps her hidden away from me...scared maybe I will spill I do know she has "concerns" about his behavior. She is where I was at. It took a long time for the truth to land in my lap.


Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown


Posts: 2190 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Oregon
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

Yes, he told me he cheated on a gf because he wanted to break up with her and she was psycho.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

It wasn't a marriage and it was before we got married, he told me that he felt terrible to break it off that way, but he didn't see any other way (now I know he was lying!)

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

If she asked me I would tell her. Would I call her up and spill? I don't know, since we are not yet divorced, it's hard to make that determination. If he was trying to shove a 'step-mother' in my kid's face, maybe.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 - No

2 - Yes

3 - I would if I could do it anonymously and not get any blow back on me or my children (because he's evil & vindictive).


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9815 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No
2. No
3. Nope, I let the OW have him. She knew that he cheated on me and she will get what she deserves.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No
2. No
3. Yes


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1857 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Neither of us had been in a serious relationship before when we met each other. There was no history there, although there were a ton of red flags I should have seen if I wasn't so excited to be in a relationship.

2. See number 1.

3. I have absolutely no contact with her. If they were to contact me and ask, I suppose I wouldn't lie. If she was going to marry her new dad, I sure as fuck wouldn't talk to him. He knows damn well what sort of piece of shit she is and he would deserve every ounce of pain she would heap onto him somewhere down the road.

[This message edited by h0peless at 5:51 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1731 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No
2. No it was first marriage for both of us.
3. No and if marries OW she knows what she did but if he ends of with another person then no unless asked I would be honest.


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 357 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. In fact his previous GF cheated on him with his friend. That is why I was in such denial because I knew he knew how badly it hurt.

No.

No -- he M the whore so she already knew


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17679 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

No, I am not aware that he ever cheated. If he did, he kept it from me, and no one has ever come forward to tell me otherwise.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

I was XWH's first wife, so this was not an issue for us.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

He remarried his disgusting AP, so she knows full well who is, and she's just like him. If he divorces her and ends up with someone else whom he does not cheat with, then no, I would not inform her. I'm not their MC. I want as little to do with XWH as possible, so inserting myself into any future relationships he might have will never happen.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

The 2 LTR before me were described as crazy/emotional/vindictive. Translation = after they found out I cheated on them. I'm guessing yes.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

First M for both.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

Not my concern. If the F came to me (not OW), I might, but prolly not.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 762 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No
2. No
3. He is about to remarry (to someone who was not an OW). If I ever meet her and if she asks me, I would answer truthfully. I have a feeling, however, that my DD has already said something. She tells cashiers, friends, and even the plumber that her parents divorced because her dad cheated. Filters aren't her strong point.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25696 | Registered: Aug 2011
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No. I would not have married him if I had known.

2. Yes. And since the D I've learned a lot more. He's never been faithful in any relationship he's ever had.

3. No. He's her problem now, not mine. And she knows damn well he's a cheater, since she was screwing him while he was still married to me.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 912 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
NeedsHope
New Member
Member # 42431
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her? No, but now I wonder...

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?
No

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?
No, because I know that he would have influenced her against believing anything I said.

@SBB.. that article on psychopaths...that is my ex! How terrifying that he did so many of those examples. The OW has her work cut out. I don't think he will last as long this time before turning back into that person.Wow!!!


Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Posts: 46 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Despair
burnedcanuckEMS
♀ Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

No. But former MIL (now deceased) used to tell him "you better not fuck this relationship up"... comparing us to his previous LTR he had before me. I never knew what she meant by this. He claimed his ex cheated on him, now I suspect it was the other way around.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

The above suspicions have never been confirmed, so no.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

I don't think so. Mostly because I don't have any desire to speak to or associate with any future women he will be involved with. Him, and his dealings, are not my problem anymore.


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 253 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
burnedcanuckEMS
♀ Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

No. But former MIL (now deceased) used to tell him "you better not fuck this relationship up"... comparing us to his previous LTR he had before me. I never knew what she meant by this. He claimed his ex cheated on him, now I suspect it was the other way around.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

The above suspicions have never been confirmed, so no.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

I don't think so. Mostly because I don't have any desire to speak to or associate with any future women he will be involved with. Him, and his dealings, are not my problem anymore.


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 253 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.