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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Short survey
allyk2014
♀ New Member
Member # 41688
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) No. My wh had just moved to our area for a job when I met him. He had been married twice before and according to him, they BOTH cheated on him; therefore, he had a lot of trust issues and I understood why and thought his exs were horrible. He always promised he would never cheat on me and hurt me the way they hurt him.

2)I found out after I kicked him out for his inappropriate female relationships that he refused to give up. He would go into a rage each time I would catch him and expect me to forget and rug sweep, while he carried on. I contacted wife #2 and was told he cheated on wife #1 with her. She also let me know she put up with 8 years of infidelity until he finally left her for one of his many ow!! Confirmed with wife #1 as well. WOW.

3) Wife 1 & 2 both said they wanted to warn me, but didn't want to deal with him. The both said he is so nice in the beginning, I wouldn't have believed them anyway. Probably true. I would feel the need to tell the next one, but he would probably convince her I'm just the jelous ex. He seriously just told me that about his exs when he found out they told me. Too bad I've already experienced it with him, so who the hell does he think I'm going to believe!!

[This message edited by allyk2014 at 6:39 PM, February 14th (Friday)]


Me: 38
WH: 43 Narcissist
Currently separated

Posts: 32 | Registered: Dec 2013
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. He did not cheat in a prior relationship that I know of.

2. Same as above.

3. Ex-shat married the AP. She jumped into that shit pool with her eyes wide open.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, no, not my problem.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13787 | Registered: Jul 2011
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Yes I knew. 19 and so naive.
2. Knew he had before we were married, but didn't understand it was EVERY relationship until after
3. Depends. If its an AP, no. If it seems like she's a nice, normal girl being fooled by a master manipulator... Perhaps. Of course, anonymously. But I hope by the time that happens he's a distant memory and I am not even aware of his life


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. No-he was divorced but his XW had severe mental problems.

2. No

3.No FT has remarried and he is still "looking" and Twat know he cheated on me with her.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20382 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

Yes, he told me he cheated in his relationships before me. He chalked it up to sowing his oats.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

No, he admitted to everything before we married. He was really open with me.

I learned something very important in IC about that. Pay attention when people tell you who they are. I knew he was a cheater early and thought I was special, he would never cheat on me.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

I probably wouldn't say anything. One of his exes tried warning me about him early in our relationship and he gaslit me to no end. I truly believed she was crazy.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) Have no idea; we were together since age 17
2) See above
3) No; he's still with the OW, so she knows he cheated...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20272 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
stuckinthetunnel
♀ Member
Member # 41754
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do not know if HE, per say, cheated on any of his girlfriends..but I did know that right before we met he had been dating/having an affair with a married woman. She left he husband and she and my XWH were engaged. She then cheated on him and left him for that person. It always bothered me that he would date a married woman....just kinda kept that buried cus I didn't want to face the truth.

I knew all of this WELL ahead of time...again, just kept my head in the sand.

If he was going to remarry (which he says over and over again will NEVER happen) Nope I would not tell her...that would be her problem to figure out. I feel like it would just seem like I was being bitter and letting what he did to me STILL effect me. I hide that fact from him as much as I can!!


DDay 10/30/11
Divorced 3/25/13
Married 19 yrs.
S30,S23 mine
S17 ours

Posts: 53 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

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