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User Topic: Valentine's Day
MammaMia
♀ Member
Member # 34030
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After Dday what does Valentine's Day mean to you?
How do you plan to spend it and are you going to give your WS a gift?


It does not mean much to me anymore. I have already told him there should be no gifts. I hope he listens. No plans for that day.


And once the storm is over, you wonít remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wonít be the same person who walked in. Thatís what this stormís all about.Ē

Posts: 874 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Somewhere in the South
hurtingfool
♂ Member
Member # 42196
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Means jack to me. I'd do stuff throughout the year anyway, so this was more of a day for a slightly bigger bouquet or something.

Keep getting people making chit chat during doctor visits asking what I was doing for VD (ring is a dead give away I guess). They don't seem to like it when you say absolutely nothing.

Actually, I might make myself a steak, get her some hamburger or something. Or liver, I know she hates liver.


Me: BS 31
Her: WS 29
10 years of marriage
12 years together
3 kids
DDay:January 16, 2014

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NW US
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pre Dday my WH never acknowledged the day. As my DSs got older they would send flower. I would tell them not to spend their money doing that and my older son responded with, "I do it because I know Dad won't" His response made my heart hurt.

Today, that makes my WH feel like a complete POS.

Post Dday my WH acknowledges all occasions. The only one that bothers me is our Anniversary. I prefer it go unnoticed.

My WH is out of the country, returns tomorrow night. This afternoon a delivery of 2 dozen roses arrived at my house from him. They are nice but sadly, they are also tainted with the memory of his A.

Will I give him a gift? Absolutely not. He got a wonderful gift...the gift of being able to remain in my life. He expects nothing.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2121 | Registered: Nov 2011
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Valentine's day is a huge trigger. The A was going on and I cannot even bring myself to type what happened that day. So since the A, the day represents pain and hurt. One day maybe not, but for now, I hate the day.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1526 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
kate0421
♀ Member
Member # 40819
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am afraid of what it's going to be like. He was never a huge " valentines" guy. Just the flowers, card, stuffed animal or chocolates cliche. Always ran out last minute to get it all. It now means nothing to me. I did get him a card, I was in a pretty good mood. Not sure if I am going to give it to him or burn it out back Guess it depends on my mood I just know he is going to do the usual even though I said not to. I hate when he just acts like everything is normal..makes me want to vomit

Good thing is its my little sisters 17th bday. I am taking her to lunch and a spa to get our eyelashes permed and tinted!

Honestly I can't wait for this holiday to be over, I just want to bust out with a BULL $ HIT every time I pass by a Damn jewelry store or watch a valentines commercial. Not looking forward to it. Never knew how this whole experience would impact so much in my life. Kinda like New Years and how I just know this year is going to suck, so I wasn't drinking to celebrate. .. it was more of a suck it up and get it over with shots...


ME: BS
HIM: WS
Together over 9yrs
2 children
DDAY 9/23/2013- 2 ONS (2009-2010)
TT. 5/14/2014- slept with OW1 twice

Posts: 274 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Tampa Bay Florida
CantLoseHope
♀ Member
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

working, working, working,/...... and after work whatever I can do to keep my mind off of it.


"A tree falls the way it leans.....be careful which way you lean"


Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is breathing. Enough said.

But, I'm sure Shrek is getting him something nice and taking it back to their luurrrve nest.

ETA: D can not come soon enough.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 8:56 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing at all.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
headdesk
♀ Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked him to do nothing at all and I hope he sticks to it. We're doing well in R...just couldn't handle this sickly sweet holiday with all the shit going on.


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I officially despise Valentines day.

Maybe next year I will like it.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
beautytoashes5
♀ Member
Member # 41900
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My 5 kids and I will make red cheese enchiladas, chocolate covered strawberries. I will enjoy the day with my beautiful children. I'll fake it till I make it.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
MammaMia
♀ Member
Member # 34030
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H kept his promise and gave me nothing for Valentine's day. He got the same gift as well. No regrets...I wanted it that way. We are going to the movies tonight but not because it is Valantine's. We had planned to go and I was tired yesterday. Tomorrow is his birthday. I have not bought him anything. Our older son and his wife are taking us out to dinner. Other than that, no other plans.


And once the storm is over, you wonít remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wonít be the same person who walked in. Thatís what this stormís all about.Ē

Posts: 874 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Somewhere in the South
Buckeye Wife
♀ Member
Member # 28702
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4 years out and reconciling with a H doing things right....and I will be glad when today is over. Still struggling with the idea that he cheated.

Sent him out so I don't have to look at him tonight. Netflix for me tonight.


BS (Me): Forties
FWS(Him): Forties
Married over twenty years
DDay: 1/20/10
R'ing

Posts: 1035 | Registered: Jun 2010
Gajit
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All he gets from me is my middle finger high in the air...oh, and crickets.


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
33years
♀ Member
Member # 41053
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I texted my sleeping husband after I had left for work, "Happy VD Sweetie"


Me (BS) 58
Him (WH) 57
DD July 10, 2013
My Motto: "I'm fairly certain that nothing anymore is certain"

Posts: 73 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Middle of USA
Ivyivy
♀ Member
Member # 42110
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

V-day was always a big deal because it is/was also WH's birthday. Unlike me, he likes to celebrate. This year, he has gone out of town (without warning to celebrate with twin brother (turning 50). I am home with my DS 11. Drink in hand, a few cupcakes for DS, best day ever.


Me -BW
Him - WH
LTA
DS - 11 and DD - 15

Posts: 198 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are almost 5 years out and today has been a really nice day. We slept in this morning, went out to lunch and dinner and plan to go in the spa later on tonight.

It is about time that some holiday was not tainted by his affairs. I hope it is the beginning of many more.

Hang in there, it does get better.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 532 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 17

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