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Newest Member: spaceplease (45329)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Daddy says he wants me to live with him forever
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But he doesn't call in between EOW.
He doesn't excercise midweek visitation.
He doesn't ask to get involved with school things.
He doesn't go to the doctor's or dentist's.
He doesn't show up to the Christmas program...
...or the soccer camp...
...or the art camp...

Talk about a mixed message that will make a 5 year old's head explode.

It's okay Teslet - I know how you feel because he told mom the same thing.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((teslet))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25714 | Registered: Aug 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I hate all of these part-time, thoughtless, selfish cheater parents so much!

They just spew these little soundbytes to our kids that make them sound like they are loving and caring when all they know how to do is mirror those qualities.

How did Teslet feel about that? Did he have an opinion?

(((tesla and teslet)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IN JAIL?? Why would he want that kid to live with him in jail?

That's where he's going. Asshole.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could tell when he said it that he was having a hard time. Whether it is because he would like to live with dad forever or he would not like to live with dad forever or he is putting together the diochotomy of what dad says vs. what dad does...I don't know.
I didn't pursue it this time because at the moment I don't trust that I won't try to throw his dad under the bus. (Must be kraken-mentality )

But you know what he did mention the night before? Forgot about it till just now...He said last night that we should let dad play a certain game that Teslet and I play because "dad loves you mom." I'm pretty sure I snorted reflexively and asked, "Really? What makes you say that?" He didn't give a reason was just adament that dad liked and loved me.

Poor kid. His dad's behavior is mind-boggling for an adult to process...


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This makes me want to cry whilst I'm pummeling asshat's head with a blunt object.

DD6 told me recently that her dad says he still loves me and that he was very happy in the old house and misses it.

Piece of shit doesn't care about damage to my girls just as long as he gets to have a go at sticking his blunt blade into me. It does hurt - not as an ExW but as a mother. I wonder how he thinks it's even remotely worth it.

You did good mamma. It's not enough for formal alienation but I'd consider giving it a crack if it continues.

He won't always be so easy to bullshit, asshat - and when he does realise what you're doing he'll be hurt and angry. You'll lose him.

FTG. DIAF.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

POS. Talk is cheap. I'm am sooooo damn sorry that he is so f'ing worthless.
(((tesla and teslet)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2326 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
debbysbaby
♀ Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because if he lived with exshat then exshat wouldn't have to pay child support.

These men are so transparent.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 880 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because if he lived with exshat then exshat wouldn't have to pay child support.
These men are so transparent.

And that there is the truth!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9820 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and
I'm speechless.
I'm sorry teslet had to hear, what he knows at some level, complete and utter bullshit.
Hugs to you mama!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2268 | Registered: Oct 2012
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"dad loves you mom."

Teslet sees YOU, Teslet sees that everyone loves and likes Mom. Teslet loves and likes Mom. His mind has made a correlation or his dad is messing with a little boy's heart and mind.
IrishLad used to come home bearing "messages" like this from his Dad. It is so, so, so unbelievably wrong to use your child as a messenger in this manner. If they forget the message or say it wrong and Mom and Dad don't get back together, well you just shot the messenger before he even knocked on the door. If Teslet says it again, ask him "where he heard that?" The phrasing of the clarifying questions can mean everything.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
GingerAle
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my gosh, this makes me furious!!!! The pain and abuse they have inflicted on us just isn't enough for them, is it? They have to do it to our precious children, too.

My STBXWH uses my 15 year old son to try and manipulate me in certain situations; to get me to agree to something we can't afford, for example. It has worked so many times in the past, because if I say no, I would have to hurt my son by telling him what his dad is actually doing. So I have always given in to protect my son, and avoid the inevitable blow up from my WH. Tonight I got put in that position again, and I very gently explained to my son that his dad is being deceitful and unfair to him, I am very sorry that he is being put in this situation, but that I want to be honest with him about why he can't buy what his dad is telling him he can buy. It broke my heart to tell him. He doesn't deserve to be used like that. But, he's at an age where I will have to start gently explaining more of this messed up situation to him.

Sorry tesla, didn't mean to hijack your thread! When I read that about Teslet, it really, really struck a nerve with me tonight. Poor little buddy ((((Teslet and Tesla)))).

[This message edited by GingerAle at 11:11 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014


Posts: 425 | Registered: Nov 2011
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Empty words from an empty person (if he did say that to Teslet)

(((Teslet and Tesla)))


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 751 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree he thinks if he has Teslet full time he won't have to pay support

Also saying it makes him look
better to Teslet


Teslet think you are the bomb and would never comprehend his Dads motive

Teslet will learn you are the real deal. It is sweet he thinks Dad loves you. In Teslets mind you are wonderful so what's not to love

I hate he has to endure this shit. Just an innocent child


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 618 | Registered: Jul 2012
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 4:19 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel so bad for Teslet he has so much growing up still to do. Thank god he has you Tesla to help him navigate this.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tesla,

Talk to his therapist about helping teslet see the difference between words and actions. He's going to need those lessons eventually, might as well as start now!

Yes it sucks, because Teslet is such a smart kid, you don't want him to get sucked into dad's game of believing his words over what actions he shows Teslet. Teslet deserves to matter to his dad, we know this. Dad giving lip service to his child is one thing...putting actions behind the lip service is beyond him.

I wish I could have nipped my kids believing his words over everything he didn't do (that he said he was going to do but didn't for whatever reason) earlier, I wonder if it would have less devastating affects on my girls? This thought bothers me... a lot.

I hope you can find a way to spare Teslet.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ugh, this just bothers me so much. STBX has only texted his kids about their allowance and if it would be ok to attend the play they were in. My youngest said yes, just stay away from Mom. He did, and he stayed away from them. Came in after the house lights went down and left as soon as the curtain closed. Didn't even try to talk to them, not even to say 'Great show, love you, gotta go.' coward ... sorry for the t/j

I have so much empathy for Teslet .. he's much younger than my girls, it has to be so hard for him to process the bull.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Topic Posts: 17

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