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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Confirmation of his secret phone...does everyone cheat?
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was pretty certain there was one. But I have confirmation of it now. Even the number. Wonder what's on it and how long he has had it.

It is taking everything in me not to call it to hear his reaction. Unfortunately him signing and returning papers to my lawyer is taking longer... And he had a moment of being difficult and nasty... So I am stuck playing nice, not telling anyone until my lawyer gets it back. New target date is Tues, but I am not getting my hopes up.

I almost feel sorry for him. In the 2 days he's been FB chatting about 7 different girls... Looking for anyone to show him some attention. He kind of disgusts me.

Also heard today about a former colleagues affair. Feeling like its rampant and is the norm so maybe I was stupid for leaving and thinking there's something better. Ugh.

Sorry this all over the map


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I'm sorry. Mine had one too...it technically belonged to OW's son, but WH was using it.

I hope Tuesday comes quickly.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would it be a terrible idea to call it from a blocked number just to hear his voice on it?


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would it be a terrible idea to call it from a blocked number just to hear his voice on it?


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't ring it. NC No new hurts


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 985 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does everyone cheat? I think the reason why we are here, it would seem that way, KWIM? I try to look at the relationships around me ~ parents, in-laws, aunties and uncles, cousins, friends ~ all still married and no infidelity. Of course, we truly don't know what happens behind closed doors. So I guess I can say within my circle of family and friends, there haven't been any divorces due to infidelity (except mine ).

And HELL to the NO about thinking you were stupid for leaving and thinking there's something better. NO NO NO!! How can staying in a marriage without trust and respect and faithfulness be better?

It will get better, roarlouder.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Oct 2012
RealityStinks
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How'd you find the phone?

Also, I know there are men that don't cheat. I see one every time I look in the mirror.


Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems like every day I hear about someone else's affair. If I am being perfectly honest, there are scenarios where I could forgive. Heck false R for almost 5 months.

In my case though, it is at the core of who he is. 100% he will continue to for the rest of his life.


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
roarlouder
♀ Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thx RealityStinks. I need that reminder. I don't cheat either, so we exist.


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...does everyone cheat?

No. I've kept my vows through almost 18 years of marriage, and would say that a strong majority of my friends and family have done the same.

But I understand the sentiment. Sometimes it feels like it's everywhere. In my FOO faithfulness has been the rule, as far as I know. In my WW's extended FOO, infidelity has affected probably 80% of marriages going back 3 generations.

Not a huge shock that she cheated and I haven't. We internalize (and normalize) what we see growing up.


Me (BS)-45, WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1386 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 10

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