One more question. We are way underwater on our home and would probably have to come up with about $50k if it were to sell in today's market. I know a lawyer probably wouldn't recommend it but is it possible to divorce and continue to live in the same house? I know that may be a dumb question but we REALLY can't afford to lose that much money (I guess no one can really).
Not all consults are free. I found a few that change $50 or more. But to stay competitive you can ask for them to waive it and they may.
As for your house situation? Could you still
Live with him??? I know I can't but my WH is abusive so there is no way. An in house separation even is daunting to me. You have to decide that on your own.
I do know one couple that is divorced and live in same house but that is something I personally could not do. It's bad enough just doing the in house separation!!!!!
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Unfortunately for me, the first lawyer I hired ended up being terrible for my situation. I initially like him because he was all about mediating and compromising, and I was willing to be like that in the divorce. What I didn't count on was my piece of shit STBX being completely unreasonable and trying to screw me at every turn. I needed a bulldog, and I had hired a puppy. Thankfully, on the recommendation of a friend, I now have a great lawyer who knows what he is dealing with and can fight for me instead of trying to get me to back down all the time. I think it was most important to me that my lawyer realize the kind of personality disordered, dickhead of a husband I have. You don't want someone overcharging you or getting you to fight unnecessarily, but you want someone who will fight for what you want.
As far as living together after the divorce, I don't think lawyers or the judge or anyone can tell you guys what to do, but I couldn't do it either. I would highly recommend one of you getting a roommate instead of continuing to live together. You need space and distance to heal and move on with your life.
Once you talk with them, you can kinda get a feeling of what they're like. Some may be very aggressive, others are a little more laid back. I think the most important thing is you should feel that your attorney is operating from a position of looking out protectively for your best interests. You should also feel that you are in control. Your lawyer should offer explanations, options, and advice. Then he/she should allow you to make your own decisions.
As far as the house goes, it wouldn't be smart to take that kind of hit to sell it. One of you should live in it, the other rent a small place.
My BIL and his wife are also underwater on their mortgage and are moving out of state. They've found a realty company that will rent out their house for them at the same amount as their mortgage payment. Apparently, there are a lot of people who were foreclosed on that can afford rent, but can't be approved for a mortgage.
Just some options to check into.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.