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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: learning...
Gajit
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Knowing that today is his birthday, I called him yesterday (as I do every Thursday) to let him know how much money I needed for this week for bills. He always tries to engage me in an argument. All I said was, "Just letting you know." Then I told him goodnight and hung up.
All is good then he calls me an hour ago to tell me he 'forgot' the amount and deposited XXX amount. I said Thank you, then he says, "have a good Valentine's Day." Crickets.......good night....hung up. He always tries to push buttons, but I am learning how to deal.


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you email instead of calling? Then he doesn't have the opportunity to catch you off guard and mess with you.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
Gajit
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He doesn't email. He is technologically incompetent.


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good job on not responding.

It is so hard. At first. It gets easier, I promise.

I don't know if it would help any, but when it first happened to me, I had to physically part from any communication devices.

Then I used the hurt as a coping tool and then I moved on to a reward system for myself. Small things, not always things to buy.

Now, a few years later, it is a blissful day to not hear from there and an eye roll when I do.

Maybe there's a time he's never home or near his mobile phone and you can call then? Or set up something via paper that would be a set figure for him to send you every week so that the phone calls can end? And maybe if you could make it over what the top amount ever is, it could ensure you wouldn't have to ask again. just an idea. I have this too sometimes.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 9:38 AM, February 15th (Saturday)]


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2187 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 4

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