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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 18
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10001 | Registered: May 2002
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do's:
Rock the boat.
Make your demands.
Get what you need.
Don't settle for less
.

THIS!!! IS!!! MENZ THREAD!!!!

Do Nots:

Be disrespectful to mods/guides/admins!

[This message edited by FacePunched at 8:51 PM, February 15th (Saturday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've noticed SDWB posts a whole lot less since they legalized weed in Washington

Watching a good hockey game while the snow is falling...

As for the AM topic...BTDT. It's quite a shock reading your wife's profile, knowing that you aren't the type of man she's describing she wants. You will always wonder if that is the real her, and she is settling for you. I think it would be nice to be her fantasy instead of her reality.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Justgreatnews
♂ Member
Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK, I got no mileage from my last post, which ended part 17, so I'm re-pasting it here:

I guess you could say things are going alright here for V day.
This afternoon she took a nap, and I went out and washed her filthy car in a blustery, cold north wind. Rough job, actually.

Later she ran a couple errands, never said a word about the car. She has been raving continually about the flowers I gave her, though, how much prettier they were than others she's seen. At one point I said "the prettiest flowers for the prettiest Valentine".

That had an immediate impact, hugs kisses, etc.

Tonight I told her I could not resist pointing out that this has been the story of my life. I work and work to make a nice life for her, but all she cares about are a few words of complete BS, such as what the OM was there to deliver.

Yeah, I know how to keep a party moving.


Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justgreat,

That's her hole to fix mate. Does she even know that? If so, what is she doing to fix it?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Justgreatnews
♂ Member
Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be fair, we've discussed many times how the car being dirty really bothers me, and not her. She actually doesn't care, and may not really take notice. She does try to remember to remark about that stuff some.

Our M/C had just pointed out how people show their love/devotion in different ways. Some work hard, keep things orderly, keep up the house/cars/etc; yet other people don't value that. They want someone to sit by them on the couch, and tell them how pretty they are, compliment them.

Obviously, I am the first type, my wife the second. I supposed its hard for each to understand the other. I've known this is what she wanted throughout the marriage. Problem is, when she didn't get it, she'd turn demanding and nasty, which made me want to give it even less.

I just never dreamed how she'd act out when she didn't get her way. She won the game by breaking the rules. I stuck to the rules.


Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She won the game by breaking the rules.

Ever hear of a Pyrrhic Victory?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

umm, just a note justgreat)))
I saw no "showing" of love there in that description (of her..."language" I guess)
Just taking.
A demanding sense of entitlement.

I get it that our usual language is chapped hands, bent backs, and cold, runny noses...
and no,
she didn't win, she lost. Everything.

I can see how you're frustrated, and I'd be venturing in to resentment territory myself...
Hope it gets better for you man.


Posts: 6028 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took a short ride after work yesterday. It was really nice. Then, on the way home, my clutch cable broke and I had to limp it back to the house in 85 degree weather in my winter riding jacket in first gear. It took forever! New cable has been ordered so hopefully I'll be back at it next weekend.


Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justgreat-

Have you read the 5 Love Languages book....might help you.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
justjim
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted an update to my story in the General Forum, but kind of wanted to bring it in here to get a sense of the menz perspective.

I recently discovered that my wife was involved in an affair going back to early 2011. She has been described to me by people who were "in the know" as the OMs "weekend wife". She had clothes in his closet, makeup in his bathroom, they had "His and Hers" towels, he gave her an "Engagement ring", etc, etc, etc.

Last May, he caught her fucking another man in her car. She broke off her relationship with him and moved on to the guy she was fucking.

Weekend Husband never got over her and spent the next 8 months trying to win her back and was constantly rejected. so on January 24th, he opened his safe that contained all of her love letters and cards to him over the course of their relationship (and a few pieces of junk jewelry), and blew his brains out.

WW did not attend his funeral or send any condolences to the family. Rather, she began harassing them to get the cards, letters, and pictures that were in the safe returned to her. Family got pissed, contacted me and told me the whole sordid tale, and turned the stuff over to me.

Meanwhile, WW realizes that I am in contact with the family and hurrys to an attorney to get her Separation Agreement done legally. Her "agreement" leaves me with the bills, house, and responsibilities, and allows her to go on her merry way. She keeps warning me that if I do not sign, she will not be so "generous" in the future She begins texting me demanding that I go sign the document at her attorney's office immediately or be served with the papers. I ignored her.

I have retained an attorney who is going to accept service of any papers on my behalf, and file for divorce on the grounds of adultery. WW knows I know the story, but does not know that I have the means to prove it. Yet. (Attorney says to keep it from her for now)

After all of the time she went away every weekend, ostensibly to "take care of her parents", I find that all of my work to support her for being such a good person to sacrifice every weekend to care for her family was a Fool's Errand".

Getting my divorce is important. Hopefully, getting her to help me financially is important. But my main focus is on getting to the point where I can "out" this lying, evil bitch before she can do any more damage.

I really don't know if I am more pissed at her or myself.

Thanks for letting me rant again, guys.


Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 265 | Registered: Oct 2013
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And clock....

Even got the time right on this one



[This message edited by DefiledRage at 10:54 AM, February 15th (Saturday)]


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justjim,

That's some pretty harsh shit right there. I hope you come out on top and ride "Hell Bitch" down into the ground.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 416 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR for the save with the PBR Clock!


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sproket
♂ Member
Member # 41262
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jim
Some people are just plain evil


ME:BS 40
W: WW 40
M: Oct 2009
D.D Nov 2, 2013

Posts: 68 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: VA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some people are just plain evil


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And some are immature, spoiled brats with huge entitlement issues.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Went dancing last night, with a meetup group of singles my age. No date, no pressure. It was great.

Liking doing stuff in groups like that. All my friends were friends of the marriage. So they know WW and there's that awkwardness all the time. So now I need new friends. Of my own.

This crowd, since most are divorced as well, gets it. They know where I am in my journey (they don't know details but I tell them I'm very newly single and they respect the boundaries that go with that).

So overall I had a great V day actually.

Tonight I'm going to karaoke with a different group of singles closer to my house.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
IC Quote 3/6/14: "You Married a powder keg"

Posts: 480 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well that’s quite a tame start – where is SDWB – hope he’s having some fun and finding an even keel with his chosen course. At least Defiled could come in with the clock – and a good one at that. I think I have a small glass of whiskey calling my name at home – it’s 5 o’clock ya know.

JJCT – that sleep poem at the end of BM 17 was pretty cool and timely – putting BM 17 to bed. I’ve got to wonder though what you posted before it that edited to “ok then”. A little keyboarding under the influence?

GotPlayed – sounds like a good time – great for you. The knowing where you are at and respecting your boundaries without the awkwardness sounds like the right recipe for a good time.

Fireguy87 posted something that made me reflect and realize some very positive changes have happened for me.

saw a movie trailer for an upcoming release and could not believe my eyes.....it's called "The Other Woman." It's about a wife who discover her husband is cheating and becomes such great friends with the OW and they get revenge on him. HOLY CRAP....now this shit is the making of a comedy. What the hell have we come to?

I would have found it pretty funny before it happened to me the second time. (The first DDay I eventually stuffed it so deep it did not exist, or so I thought.) I’m at the point now where stuff like that movie does not hurt. It just makes me a little melancholy thinking about how much pain is inflicted in this world by the very people who are supposed to nurture, each other.

I’ve always had empathy and have been told (mostly by teachers/professors) that I had the ability to see things from other peoples perspective – kind of walking in their shoes knowledge without having to do the walk. Now I understand I might have a concept or an idea but I will never really know what someone else is going through.

OK now off to that whiskey – good weekend gents.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1063 | Registered: Jul 2011
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, February 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Justjim – that’s a crapload of shit to digest. I hope you can find some distraction form the Hell Bitch and her narcissistic drama and stay the course with your attorney’s advice. Sorry man.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1063 | Registered: Jul 2011
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