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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: who the OM is?
Midas
♂ Member
Member # 22832
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Affairs thrive in secrecy, and I needed backup from someone that loves my daughter and my STBXWW, so I told my STBXWW's mother about the criminal history of the other man, this pissed off the soon to be ex. Her mom called her and set her straight, that a mother can't get involved with men that might be a danger to their children. That if she continued to see this other man I would get full custody of our daughter, and she would get supervised visitation. So she broke it off with the other man, I can tell, because she's heartbroken. I told her that if she continued to see him, eventually I would find out and I would get custody. She is still looking for an apartment and still sleeping on the couch, now if only she would stop talking about her feelings! It's nearly impossible for me to see her upset and not want to comfort her, weather I comfort her or not I feel awful. Hopefully soon she will be moving in with a coworker and her grandson, or into her own place and I can start the hurting and healing of missing her.

[This message edited by Midas at 2:11 PM, February 20th (Thursday)]


Midas
Me - 37 (BS)
Her - 36 (STBXWW)

OM#1-4 Dday 2/17/2014 pre-marriage
OM#5 - Dday 2/17/2014 <new info>
OM#6 - Dday 4/30/2006
OM#7 - Dday 1/29/2014

DD - 6yo

Filed for D 2/10/2014


Posts: 99 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Austin, Texas
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So she broke it off with the other man, I can tell, because she's heartbroken

Based on OM's criminal history....he is a probably a master predatory and manipulator. He can easily move to using these skills on your WW during her time of trying to break it off.
I would be conscious of this going forth. Just because she broke it off today; does not mean she will be able to stay strong if he starts pressuring her.

For your DD sake - I sure hope your WW is strong enough to keep this OM out of all your lives.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2050 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not naively think this is the end of the sex offender OM. You need to work with your daughter and give her the tools necessary to report inappropriate activity should this man, or any other man, be in her life via her stupid mother.

Cheaters lie. My ex told me that he'd broken it off with this one particular OW, the one who was a convicted drug dealer. Well, that wasn't true. They'd continued their relationship for a couple of YEARS.

Don't believe what a cheater tells you. Especially when it comes to the safety of children.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9489 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Midas
♂ Member
Member # 22832
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our divorce final decree will include limitations on exposure of my DD to our potential romantic partners. (originally 6month no introduction, 12 month no overnight, maybe adjust this) I will be talking to my daughter about inappropriate behavior and I have the OM's picture from the offender database and I'm going to make sure she knows he is a bad man. (once I figure out how to do that appropriately)


Midas
Me - 37 (BS)
Her - 36 (STBXWW)

OM#1-4 Dday 2/17/2014 pre-marriage
OM#5 - Dday 2/17/2014 <new info>
OM#6 - Dday 4/30/2006
OM#7 - Dday 1/29/2014

DD - 6yo

Filed for D 2/10/2014


Posts: 99 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Austin, Texas
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finding out for me was absolutely necessary for my sanity. Years of knowing but letting her tell me I was jealous controlling insecure. Once I found out who. On my own I might add. Then I was able to fully detach. As far as your om being a sex offender. Brother come on. There are no rules in this fight. Do what ever you have to to protect your child. Whatever!!!!!!


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 626 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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