((((yestopants)))) The biggest jumps in healing for me came when I turned my focus away from him. You just can't move forward well when you're constantly checking the rear-view mirror.
I know it's hard, especially in the beginning. When you find yourself thinking about him, what he's doing, what he isn't doing, etc., make yourself stop. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it if you must, but make yourself focus on you and the kids. Don't count on him for anything. Don't expect him to do anything right. Make him as irrelevant in your mind as he is in your day-to-day life.
You can do this. You can call me NIK
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in." -Cohen