I got an email over the weekend that indicates I'm not putting enough time into a certain project. And, I have to leave early tonight because its the only time this week MC can see us.
BH suggested I talk to my bosses to let them know I'm dealing with some personal issues. I'm not sure it will matter, I still need to get my projects done on time. And I don't have any kind of personal relationship with anyone here that I feel would be sympathetic or understanding.
BH agreed to not call me at work anymore, so that should help. I guess I just need to hunker down and get through busy season. And maybe start looking for a new job...
I had the same issue with needing to leave early for MC. Offer to come in early on another day or two to make up for the time and let them know you take it seriously.
Jovie - BH suggested I talk to my bosses to let them know I'm dealing with some personal issues. I'm not sure it will matter...
I think my A has cost me three or perhaps four jobs in the past 6 years due to declining work performance.
Generally speaking, my work performance and attitude has suffered ... I've been struggling with a very high level of frustration and anger being misdirected at co-workers, a very defensive attitude regarding my workplace decisions and choices as well as a general all around who gives a flying fuck attitude as I struggled with the roller coaster ride. I thought I was handling it well, but, since I was let go twice in recent years for "undisclosed performance issues", it must have been readily apparent to everyone else..
Seriously, you might as well bring up the "personal issues" with your manager and the HR dept.... generally speaking, you don't need to get into specifics but at least, you have some justification to fall back onto and quite often, HR dept. can help direct you to outside resources that you may not be aware of.
Mind you, it can't protect you, from total job collapse, but it might help. Can't hurt.
[This message edited by LifeIsTooWeird at 12:10 PM, February 17th (Monday)]
It's my busy time at work. I've missed some time due to distractions from BH (calling me at work, being upset so I leave early, and just general distractions from my own thoughts etc.)
Respectfully, I feel this is significant blame-shifting. Your A is what has caused all these distractions, not your BH.
My SAWH and I have dealt with this a bit. I can get pretty triggered during the day, when his work schedule changes and he forgets/doesn't have time to inform me ahead of time. He is working so hard on his recovery, but demonstrating real-time empathy and de-escalating responses to my triggers is still very much hit or miss for him. That makes me more upset, which he tends to respond to even more inappropriately b/c he starts to panic. And so on...
It's bad enough when that happens at home, but when it happens at work, he basically implodes on all fronts. I have NO desire for him to lose his job but I also don't like my trigger moments brushed off. So we scripted a reply he can use when at work and realizes he can't deal with the situation in the moment. It's an agreed upon code that let's me know he gets that I'm upset and honors it, but that he needs to put it on hold until that night. And then, he really needs to be the one to bring it up ASAP.