I talked with him yesterday. He said that divorce papers are a real message to him. He said that the choice is up to me. We either go one way or the other way. He did say that he would put into contract form the other things that I talk to him about going to counseling working on the marriage etc. He also mentioned a scenario where I would be living in the house and we would still have separate finances because we would be divorced.
He has stated that I could move in and it will be OK at any time. Here is the other thing. For me the divorce is going to be much harder and what is the actual benefit that I am receiving from the divorce. For example my financial situation would be much better if I was with him. I do love him I do trust him and he does a lot of other things for me.
This may seem different for others, but for me I am also angry at the fact that I have to come home from work each day and make dinner for my kids. I don't want him to get away with not having to help out in that regard for the next 8 years.
I don't know about anybody else but that really just seems unfair to me that he gets to sit at home well I am at my house cooking for the kids after I get home from work. Like I said I don't know if anyone else feels that way about divorce, but it's kind of like he is getting away with not having to have that responsibility that I have because they live with me the majority of the time.
My sister says he is the one who made the situation. The way that I see the financial situation as well is that I'm getting his pension anyway, I'm getting his money anyway because my costs will be significantly decreased because I won't have to pay rent and utilities. He's going to be paying for all that.Just giving some different scenarios here.I am a planner and looking at the big picture long term.
I am also thinking about my future and what I want out of a marriage. I like to be married. I don't want to be in that situation where I have to not have somebody help me with these children and in the future myself, as I get older. I also don't like the scenario of the blended family.The stage I am in my life, I am not looking for someone who's going to be going out partying. I am just looking for that basic marriage companionship, going on trips together and the daily emotional intimacy.
I see a lot of that now in the dating world of my other single friends that they are just saying that there is junk out there and that they don't have any help with their children and if they wish they would have stayed with their husband.They say noone wants to marry anymore.