After DDay 1 I was hell bent on getting all the details. DDay 2 sent WS in a tailspin of blameshifting, gaslighting and claiming she was miserable our whole relationship. Of course we separated and I did the 180, but we still haven't discussed it in detail. I know I don't know everything, though WS says I do. She's given me generalizations about the timeline, but no details claiming it was too long ago to remember. I have read enough on here to know that even if she doesn't exactly remember now, she will. I want to know, but I'm not sure how much to pressure. My guess is that if she is fully engaging in depth in IC and in our couples sessions, then she will be compelled to tell me eventually (as other WS's on here seem to do over time). Is this true or should I ask for more truth?
BP: 38--me, faithful
Currently moving toward R.
There's actually some published support for my opinion - http://www.dearpeggy.com/free-pdfs/help-for-therapists.pdf is a free version of a book you can also buy from Amazon.
The book is a report on a survey of BSes. Slightly over half the respondents R'ed, but the BSes who said their WSes answered all their Qs R'ed at a much higher rate than those who said the WSes didn't answer Qs or answered only limited questions.
Your WP may think you know everything of importance, and she's probably right. My W said the same thing, and she was right - but I couldn't know that unless and until she answered all my Qs.
For about 2-3 weeks I asked questions, mostly specific questions, some general. The answers from my remorseful fWW helped me move on some.
Together we are are stronger. Thank You SI friends.