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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wedding rings what did you do?
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my wedding rings off on DDay which was about six weeks ago. My dilemma is that my sister designs jewelry, she designed and had my ring made with diamonds and sapphires that she already had. Long story short I got a $5000 ring for less than $700. My WH did not ask or arrange for any of this, it was something my sister wanted to do because we were renewing our vows after 24 years of M.
My sister is in terrible health so the whole family holds on a little tighter to things from her.
I was going to have the wedding band taken off and just wear it as a normal ring but I couldn't stand the thought of cutting up the ring my sister made. I can't stand to have it sit in the jewelry box, and I can't stand to wear it on my wedding finger. He was mid EA when we renewed our vows and turned it to a PA right after.
Just wondering what others have done with their rings.

We are working on R, my sister says if I wear it upside down on my right hand it is nothing more than a promise ring, a promise to try.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will be selling mine. As a matter of fact I have already sold the promise ring and one Christmas ring he gave me. I will sell the wedding set after the D There are three anniversary bands that I am trying to sell that are worth over 3000 total - but the only connection these have are to him. There is no loving relative that made them for me and we are not goin for R. They will fund my lawyers fees. I am keeping both the fathers ring he refuses to wear and my mothers ring. Since they are linked to my kids. I may have stones reset from his ring into a mothers necklace.

I think your sisters idea is a good one. Or wear on the right hand instead of left.


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Hannah25
♀ Member
Member # 42198
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am going to have my ring made into a pendant. Why should I waste a nice diamond?


ME: 35
WBF: 44
Together 11 years
DDay: 1/12/14
DDay2: 3/28/14

Posts: 64 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ohio
undonelife
♀ Member
Member # 38421
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Took my wedding ring off over a year ago & never put it back on. It was my mothers wedding ring. My engagement ring was too small for years & I wore another rring with my wedding band in place of it. We are in R but I don't feel I can wear either ring again. Doesn't mean anything to me now. I'll wait to see if he will suggest another one.


Me: BS 53 Him: WH 51
M: 28 years
DDay 11/25/12 TT 9/9/13
OW:20 yrs younger McOW
Kids: 2 teens

Posts: 188 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Dark Hell
Jls0320
♀ Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine are in a drawer right now, I took them off 3 wks ago and although we are trying to reconcile I just can't seem to put it back on yet


Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, too much too list, drowning in his sex addiction
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Separated, divorce filed, he loves his whore lol

Posts: 445 | Registered: Nov 2013
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did take my sisters advice, looking at it is not as hard as I thought. Because it makes me remember my loving sister's gesture, not my WH.
I won't make any decision about the fate of it until I know what will happen in my M, I do know that it will never be my wedding ring again, but it could stay a promise ring if things work out.
If things do work out he is going to have to pay retail though, no more favors from my sis. Lol.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
RealityStinks
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBX's engagement ring has a "family stone" as the center diamond. I'll be putting that in the D agreement that I want it back. Probably put the entire set in there.

After removing the family stone, I'll be selling what's left, including my wedding band. I'll give the family stone to my sister.


Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
FoggedIn
♀ Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I finally quit forcing myself to wear mine 5 weeks ago. Wh hadn't even noticed I wasn't wearing the ring that's been on my finger for the last 12 years. I mentioned it a couple of days ago and he sorta flipped! Mostly because I appear single without it on. (puke!) I reminded him that I am not Him!

The ring no longer represents what it did when he put it on my finger 12 years ago and it is painful to look at when it is on my finger. If we survive this, I will never be able to wear it again.

The diamonds in it, were his Mothers, so I haven't quite figured out what to do with it either. The idea of giving it to one of our boys for their wife one day, makes me ill! Seriously passing on that kind of karma? NO! But I don't want to look at it. Boy how I wish it was some little something from Zales. That would be easy to deal with, right?


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Suggestion - stones that are sentimental can be reset. The gold sold for scrap. lol. I would suggest passing to your son the stones and have him choose a setting that is meaningful for him and his fiancée (when the time comes).

(Was this a t/j? I'm still learning the etiquette)


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
SeaBillowsRoll
♀ New Member
Member # 42460
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I, too, couldn't wear the rings again. After sitting in fWH's drawer, the stone is now being worn by my future daughter in law. It looks great and I was happy to see them so excited. The metal, still in the drawer. I have new rings now, appropriate for a new relationship we are still working on.


Me-BS 53 Him-WS 55
M-32 yrs
D Day Oct 18, 2012 3 Yr LTA
It is well with my soul
Reconciling

Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2014
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took mine off on DDay and even though we are in R, I still cannot put the ring back on. Since WH never wore his, it is a sore subject and I don't think I can ever wear that particular ring again. I will probably sell it.

Since your sister designs jewelry and she knows what's going on, maybe you could ask her to design a different ring for you using the same stones but not a wedding ring. If she doesn't have the strength to do that, could she draw a design? You could always have it done by another jeweler but it would still be her design.

It's a tough call because the ring has a double sentimental meaning for you.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 345 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great idea, thank you.
Not deciding anything right this minute, just wondering what other people did and thought.
I also thought about giving the ring to her daughter when she gets married. Keep it in the family, but away from me.
Thanks to all of you.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
Sadden in OK
♀ New Member
Member # 31791
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wear my on my right hand. My wedding band was my grandmothers. We were really close she gave me the ring when I was 16. No matter what I will never give up my ring.

Posts: 31 | Registered: Apr 2011
justme29
♀ New Member
Member # 41284
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just tossed mine in the bottom of the closet after I saw a picture of them on her face book. The picture was taken after D-day, after I said it'd never work unless he got rid of her. He hasn't asked where it is. Although he has commented on my lack of jewelry. Specifically my not even wearing a watch.


Justme
BS - 49
WH -50
Married 30 years.
2 daughters, 1 granddaughter.
D-Day 11-14-11
Why am I still here?

Posts: 41 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Idaho
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I seriously wanted to give it to my WH so he could pawn it and help pay off the debt he racked up that I did not know about but my IC was quick to point out that he may just spend it and not pay off any of the debt so instead I plan to sell it and take my kids on a vacation. It will never go on my finger again!!!


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 209 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
BryanP37
♂ New Member
Member # 39685
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gave my wedding ring to my younger sister after I flattened it out to melt down into whatever she pleases. My wedding band had an inscription inside that made me want to retch when I read it after Dday. Her wedding ring and engagement rings were both scrapped as well however the stone belonged to her mother.

It will be a while at best, if my ex and I R successfly and decide to remarry, there will be no more elaborate wedding jewelry. Just plain vanilla bands.

[This message edited by BryanP37 at 6:54 PM, February 20th (Thursday)]


BS: Me-38
XWS: Her-34
Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kids
Ex had 4 month PA with her best friends husband. Other flings early in marriage confessed during discovery.
Divorce final 6-25-2013.
Carefully reconciling after divorce. 10/2013

Posts: 30 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Texas
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Went right in the garbage.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 616 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
FoggedIn
♀ Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm curious as to all of your Wh's wedding bands?

My Wh had his on while he had his tryst with a hooker. When I told him I wasn't wearing mine. I mentioned I would rather he wasn't wearing his since it clearly didn't mean anything to him since he didn't bother to take it off for the whore. Why would it mean anything now.

He took it off for a day, then came home and said he couldn't do it. It drove him crazy all day not wearing it and he put it back on.

I guess I'm torn about it. I want him to take it off, but I don't want him running around without one on either. There's a part of me that wondered if the reason he wanted to put it back on is because he's worried about what people think. I guess we are sort of well known in the community & he is extremely concerned about his image and the image of us as a couple.

So does your Wh wear his wedding ring? Do you want him to? Does he want to?


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea if my WH wears his. Can't look at him.


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 209 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH has never worn one in 24 years. It has always been a sore subject with me. He had a job when we were first married that didn't allow any jewelry while at work because it was dangerous, so he just never wore one. He has 3 I have given him a long time ago.
I think it would really bother me if he wore one during his A, but then again there was no question about his marital status because she was my friend.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 51
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