Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: westernlady1124 (45344)

Off Topic Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: adhd/odd child...
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a cutie pie!


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17840 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FP -- about that 2nd pic? What the heck is going on in the background????


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8081 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gonna-

I didn't see that at first glance. I'm not really sure. At first I thought it may have been me stretching on the floor or something, until I realized it was me who took the photo.

My second guess is that it's my 26-year old brother....we just got a new puppy, he might have been visiting and playing with him.

Otherwise? Aliens. Always aliens.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
abbycadabby
♀ Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oy.

My DS6 just got diagnosed with "moderate to severe" ADHD. I see a lot of the behaviors you all describe.

He tells me he hates school and cries when he has homework (things he didn't finish in class because as the difficulty of the work increases, so too does his frustration). He cried and wanted to transfer/quit school when he had to address his own valentine's cards recently. In kindergarten.

Basic tasks take him inordinately long periods of time to complete unless I stand over him (which makes my routines longer because I'm having to stand there micromanaging him in order to get him to do his stuff). I've lost my temper too many times to count.

He's had issues with social skills in school, so we start social skills training/behavior therapy in a week.

He's always been very tactile. As a baby, he would ONLY sleep if I was holding him. I'd put him down in his crib totally zonked and as SOON as he hit that mattress his eyes would pop back open and he'd cry. As he got older, he'd sit right.up.next to me on the couch and rub my arms while we watched tv. He STILL rubs my arms. Drives me bonkers sometimes.

He's always had an aversion to loud noises. Dislikes certain clothing tags but I've alleviated this by buying mostly tagless stuff.

Idk. It's been a struggle. But he's SO sweet and caring. He's really a kindhearted child. He cried from watching a cartoon one time when something bad happened to a character. He even has empathy for the villains at times. And he's so crazy smart- he actually amazes me sometimes with the things he knows.

It really helps to know I'm not alone here. Thanks for this thread.

[This message edited by abbycadabby at 9:33 AM, February 20th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1272 | Registered: Feb 2010
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Otherwise? Aliens. Always aliens.

He's adorable, FP.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25739 | Registered: Aug 2011
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He tells me he hates school and cries when he has homework (things he didn't finish in class because as the difficulty of the work increases, so too does his frustration). He cried and wanted to transfer/quit school when he had to address his own valentine's cards recently. In kindergarten.

This is why I finally caved on medication for our son. Watching him get off the bus crying every day, because he was ashamed of not being able to finish his work or pay attention.

Now he is in 5th grade and loves math and likes his teacher. Homework is a fucking trial and I punch the sky and cheer whenever he comes home without it, but he has been great in school.

FWIW I once sent back a package of unfinished work after it came home for the dozenth time or so, accumulating pages, with a note that said "If this comes home again I will burn it in effigy." That was like 3rd grade or so though.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7483 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Abby are you doing meds with him? I would seriously consider it if not. If you are and things aren't changing, and you should see immediate changes, this stuff isn't like antidepressants, where it has to build the effect is pretty much seen within an hour or two, he needs to try something different.

There are several books about ADHD and treatment, and in two different ones I read they indicate if you have only tried one med, you are probably not treating your child as best as you can, in other words, we all react differently to meds, and it's ok to try several to find which has the least side effects, and the most benefit.

I can remember crying and struggling to get my homework done, back in my day there were no extended release meds, and my mom refused to give an afternoon does, so by the time I got home I was bonkers, Not a good way to learn multiplication times tables, and so forth....

Please do yourself and him a favor and get him into a typing class in summer school, or get him a program to learn how. This was a lifesaver for my son. His handwriting is still nearly illegible, and his brain goes way faster than his hand can. Typing he can keep up, and he does all major writing assignments, and projects on the computer since he was in first grade. He learned typing by a computer program we had in KG that was a game, to help them learn basic skills and our district had a summer school program that offered a basics to computers class where he learned to type proficiently.

These kids like mine, and like I was, don't have a ton of friends, and are usually not part of the cool kid crowd, but I can tell you the friends they make are great ones, and they stick together through thick and thin, and stay friends for life.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8709 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
abbycadabby
♀ Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tushnurse- we just got the dx one day last week. He has a behavioral therapy/social skills training next Thurs. I'm supposed to be setting up a consult with an OT (for fine motor skills delays) and with his pediatrician to talk about tx options. I don't want to rush to meds, but from the research I've done, the accepted tx standard is medication, and there is evidence to support that. There is not much evidence to support behavioral therapies alone. From what I understand, the most effective tx is combined meds and behavior therapy.

I'm also in the process of moving out of my mom's house so I'm a bit frazzled right now. I'm kinda having to put the ADHD stuff in the background until I get settled into my new place and then we'll go from there I guess.


Posts: 1272 | Registered: Feb 2010
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Behaviorally speaking... You are going to need to be very fair, very consistent and very patient. Consistence is key! Have a very set routine at home for your son. Make a schedule with him and stick to it... don't waiver or change routine without warning unless you absolutely have to. Be consistent in any punishments (consequences) and rewards... Changes may happen very slowly and be microscopic but keep plugging away.

This ^^^
But also, sports or structured physical activities like martial arts helped. DSS was in football and track. It helped tremendously.
When he was about 8, he would come running to me for his next chore. Before I could even tell him what it was, he was off and running to go "do" the chore. He would come back laughing and a little sheepish. His was THAT bad. We never had to medicate him because of the above advice and sports, though. My friend's child was in martial arts and that helped too!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2334 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Medication changed our world. I have a slightly different situation is that my ADHD combined/OCD kid is a girl…and the symptoms manifest differently. She is also considered "on the spectrum".

It took a lot of convincing to try the meds (ex fought me…), and at least two years to get the right combination. But, now that she is "stable", she is doing really well. Straight A's.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Topic Posts: 50
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: Off Topic Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.