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Newest Member: feelostandlonely (45327)

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User Topic: Can't Access The Anger, Even To Deal With It
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I went to my IC the other day because I notice I have a problem: whenever I get angry about affair-unrelated stuff, all the angry affair thoughts come bubbling up with it. I don't think it's that uncommon to the people here who know what I mean. It's like a pot of hot oil....it looks calm, but throw something else in there and it starts to bubble and hiss.

However, what is troubling me is that those 'linking' moments are the only time I'm able to access the anger and hurt. I've tried. On Thursdays I have my entire house to myself for about 5 hours while my son is at school and my wife is working, and I have attempted to get at those feelings in order to feel them and work through them in a safe environment, and it's a no-go. I just can't do it.

Anyway, my therapist has suggested some EMDR therapy for me....I confess that I don't completely "get it". I mean, I've read about it and whatnot, I get the process therein, but what I mean is that I don't have any specific traumatic moments from the affair that are getting me upset. It's mostly generalized feelings of anger at being manipulated, or lied to, or used...does the EMDR still work for stuff like that?

Anyone with any insight here?


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2164 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 1:11 AM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you may want to give it a chance, the somatic response can be very strong. I'm a bodywork professional, and one of our sayings is "the issues are in the tissues" .. and when you work on people you have to be careful of transference and counter-transference. EMDR is a somatic therapy, it uses the body to access the emotions.

You may be blocking and are unaware of it. That is why it boils out with other anger .. I'm just guessing that maybe the anger is so deep and strong that that idea of letting it out is a bit scary. (((((FacePunched))))) I say go for it ... but I'm a proactive type.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Topic Posts: 2

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