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User Topic: The life he didn't want is exactly what he got and then some
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NPD-x also complained that I was controlling. Yep, that was pretty far from the truth. LOL

Now he is with control bitch from hell. According to kids she yells, complains, and makes them do things like dry the kitchen sink out with a water drops allowed, living in a crappy apartment and broke on a six figure salary. And the man that loves dogs, is not allowed to have one. She controls what he eats, how he dresses, and how his hair is cut. Of course, somehow all that is my fault.

Me, I get to live like I want, eat what I want, and keep the sink as wet as I want. I get to enjoy my pets, have fun, and live in our beautiful home with a million dollar view.

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2707 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Their love is real.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3400 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, shocking it didn't all work out the way he expected! Awesome!

Oh, and eating Manwich out of a can.

Oh my gosh, jemima, this made me laugh so hard My STBXWH will have a similar diet, for sure

My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014

Posts: 425 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nah, mine is living the life he wanted:

No kids (except at weekends to play disney dad), swanky apartment, free to do what he wants on weekdays, spending time with his 10 years younger friends, going out and spending money. But he doesn't look happy...yet he got what he wanted, to be a "single man with no kids, no responsibilities"

Me, I'm living the life i didn't want:

Single mum on benefits with no job and a very tight budget. I'm not pretending I'm happy right now, but I'm starting to see a happy future ahead. i will likely always be income poor now, but that's because i want to work part-time, to be family time rich.

What IS funny though...The Arse always wanted to save up and take a year off to travel round the world. The idea was that we'd save up and rent out the house in a few years time. well, now with visitation etc, he won't be able to go until the children are grown, which will be in 14 years time. Of course he can still travel at that age, but it won't be the same as he wanted. Mind you, it would be in time for his next MLC, I suppose

He also has $$$ of debt on credit cards, but he's in denial about that. That doesn't touch his reality.

[This message edited by Softcentre at 12:55 PM, February 19th, 2014 (Wednesday)]

Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 1052 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know enough about what XH is doing to know if he's happy or not. I do know he's broke. When we S, he had a well-paying job in nursing administration. He was fired a few months after S, and is now a regular floor nurse. He has to pay support like he's a nursing administrator because the court now considers him "underemployed". So he's way broke.

As for everything else, something my daughter said stuck out. She's 3 years old, she has autism but is verbal. She said, out of the blue: "my daddy not happy any more". Serves him right.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of things my ex claimed to hate about me, OW did tenfold...

My ex used to say that I was controlling and never let him do anything/go anywhere. NOT TRUE AT ALL. He could do whatever he wanted - I never stopped him. I would express my displeasure if he made a decision I didn't agree with, but I still let him do it. Apparently at OW's, he didn't even have a key to the house. If he wanted to go out and do something, and she didn't approve, she would pick a fight. If he went anyway - she would lock the doors and he wouldn't be able to get back in when he got home and he'd haven't sleep in his car that night.

He said I expected him to do too much around the house. I did ask him to do household chores since I worked full-time and he either was unemployed or worked part-time. Most of the time, I'd ask him to do stuff and he wouldn't do it right away and I'd get tired of waiting and do it myself anyway. Apparently OW expected him to be her butler... if he didn't do all the laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc...she would kick him out for a few days.

And on and on and on... apparently it got even worse after OC was born, because she would use threaten him that if he didn't do xyz, he couldn't stay there and wouldn't be able to see OC. So he was at her mercy.

My ex HATED authority. Hated being told what to do. And OW just had him by the balls. I am actually surprised that he actually made it about 2 years with her before she kicked him out for good.

Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2257 | Registered: Feb 2010
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:37 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ironic that in this destructive quest for his freedom I am the one who ended up free.

I also finally saw that I was the one who was caged and was in desperate need of that freedom. It was simply no way to live - I just existed. It bends my brain that he's still living that fucked-up life.

I'm not a fan of the rest of it but this one line gets me every single time - from the Rhianna song "Stay".

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving".

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But wait! I thought he wanted to "follow The Dead"?

Sounds like the only Dead he is following is his own dead hollow soul.

Livin' the life!

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3400 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for this post. It's good to know that some cheaters actually reap what they sow.

I don't think the Karma bus is going to come around, he seems to live a charmed life.

I am just enjoying my life, my freedom and the time I have to pursue the things I enjoy. He is chained to his job, his house, buying his cars, trying to impress everyone around him. The OW enjoys spending his money.

So glad that I am not a part of that charade anymore.

I am hoping that when we are done with mediation and he has to write me that check, it hurts just a little!!!

I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 479 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
Topic Posts: 29
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