The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway
I cannot read those two books now. I can't even look at them. They are in a box in the closet so I can't see them.
Free Comic Book Day is now a horrible day for me. The night before he "went for a drive" and turns out it was to see her. Got home super late, I got up super early to go do 4 hours at work. Come home, and we go to Free Comic Book day and she was there. She grabbed his ass right in front of me thinking I didn't see.
May 15th was what I always thought of as our "anniversary." It was the day we first exchanged "I love yous." On that day, he basically rejected me when I tried to have a heart to heart on his "flirting" as he was calling it at that time. While I was out walking and trying to figure out what to do, he was online with her trying to help her with her bad living situation, even saying "I wish you could just come live here."
Mother's day that month was bad, too. He always helped the kid get/make me a Mother's Day present even though I'm not his biomom. Last year, she got an elaborate planned out Mother's Day gift that he asked MY advice on how to pick one part of it. Made this big show of me having to turn my back when he came home with bags of his "Mother's Day Shopping." What did I get? Candyland. Nothing else, Candyland to play with the kid. She got flowers, cake mix, frosting, cupcake pans, cupcake liners...I got a $3 board game.
Yeah, they all sucked.
...OW's birthday is the same date as the death of my father...
...OC's birthday is the same as our "fur kid", who we owned for almost 10 years preceding the affair (and whose birthday we have ALWAYS celebrated, as he was our "first child")...
...but, on top of ALL of this, I'd have to say 4th of July, which I never liked anyway, because it reminds me of rodeos and rednecks and drunk people (no offense to rodeo participants, crowds, rednecks, or drunk people). FWH spent it with OW while we were separated, and when we got back together he told me how he spent it alone, depressed, thinking of me (which I found out was a LIE after we R'd, because OW posted pictures of her and my stepDs taken on the 4th).
It's also OW's favorite holiday in the world. She wears clothes emblazoned with the American flag 365 days a year, and had a red, white, & blue July wedding. To this day, that holiday makes me
I wish I could be in a medically induced coma every year on that day.
OW 2 - On our anniversary last year, he said he wasn't prepared. I said it was ok, because we knew we loved each other. I am a dumb ass! I got 1 text. She got lunch, $500 earrings, a romantic walk in the park, 7 phone calls and a multitude of texts. Probably sex, too, but I don't really want to know. H is going to be so surprised this year when I do not even acknowledge that we have a 34th anniversary. If we stay together, we will eventually have to pick a new day. I will NEVER celebrate that one again. Ruined!
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
Reality was, she had an encounter with OM at our house Christmas afternoon. She was in my car so I was landlocked at her parents completely unsuspecting of what was going on. She told me later on she feared I would figure it out as she herself lost track of time and didn't think she had time to polish herself up like she wanted to. And to think we had sex that night. Makes me sick!
I didn't celebrate Christmas this year other than a simple dinner with my family. My ex and I did not see each other that day either. We both felt it would be better for our reconciliation process if we just dropped the holidays this year. I don't see myself wanting to celebrate the holidays again. Her affair had an awful effect on me, but this particular incident probably hurt the most. I just don't see a way to reclaim the holidays.
[This message edited by BryanP37 at 2:22 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)]
My DS birthday. I was out of town on his 21st birthday and WH was going to take him to dinner. My DS discovered the A on this day. Now on his birthday, my heart hurts a little with the reality that my children deserve a better father.
Wedding anniversary. On our 25th ( yes, 25th) wedding anniversary my WH left work, went to MOW house, drank, had sex, came home, watched TV, drank, passed out on couch, woke and went to bed.
When he arrived home from "work" that day I did not bother going downstairs. I knew he would ignore the occasion, as he always did. If he acknowledged it he just might be required to open his wallet and dig through the 5K he kept in there to purchase a gift
The birthday one is worse.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Is the power of sex and the need of ego boosting all worth it in the end? I have asked my h that question many times over. I have told him that in my heart of hearts I hope his a with our neighbor was worth the nightmare he spun us into. He answer is always the same - that the ow was never worth the pain he caused us.
My question remains though - would it have been worth it if they were not caught????? Would they daydream about the affair from time to time (if they don't already) if they didn't have to face their demons and shame by the affair geting outed??? I have also asked my h that question and his answer is the same. He says that no matter what, it was just not worth the trouble. Why the hell didn'the see that then knowing it was dead wrong????
He took her out on their first "date" (Ontheir half hour lunch break). I had pneumonia, yet still managed to make him an awesome dinner and greet him lovingly at the door when he came home from work. He gave me a nasty glare and unexplained (at the time) anger. Then he ignored me for the rest of the night to play video games.
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
I am going through a process of reclaiming firsts now and making new memories worth keeping.
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –
There isn't a time of the year that isn't tainted for me.
Divorcing his broken @ss
Fourth of July. He had to go talk to AP at a gathering and I just thought they were old friends. I was made such a fool of.
Every other holiday, anniversary and birthday in between, because the affair lasted over a year. They were all lies.
Little did I know she was involved with OM#2 at that time and was texting him and sending him pics every chance that she had away from me. Telling him how nice it would have been if they could have done a get away together.
Ruined that day for sure. Then there is Valentines day but that's a whole other story......