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User Topic: Waht is the most "tainted" day of the affair?
♀ Member
Member # 15859
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if I am odd or not, wait scratch that :)

Initially it was Christmas, but I was determined to claim that back I love Christmas so much.

More than anything it is the ordinary that is tainted.

Because nothing really is ordinary any more.

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.
James M. Barrie

Posts: 26043 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: Seattle
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me there are two days: One is my wedding anniversary because it is the day that I found out that Husband had ended an affair 2 weeks earlier after seeing a picture on my husband's Facebook page and then seeing the same picture on AP's page.
The second is my son's first birthday because, I had always known that my MIL tried to get my husband to see his ex girlfriend on that weekend (same AP) but found out a month after Dday that this was her attempt at getting them "back" together because they had started their first affair about 5 months after son was born and he had ended it a couple of months before son's birthday. Now I cannot even see the pictures of what was always such a sacred time for me in my life…..

BW: 44 Me
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 653 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Christmas since that is the day my WH confessed.

BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 551 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 29288
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is an easy questions to answer--unfortunately. The OW gave my FWH an ultimatum: leave your wife before your next anniversary, or else. (It only took her 5 years to get to that point and he had told her all along that he would not leave me, but whatever. . .) He told her no and ended the relationship. She continued to contact and actually stalked him (she waited for him in his office parking deck, among other things). This went on for about a month. The day before our anniversary, she showed up on my doorstep to tell me about the A. She even texted him right after she left my house "Just know you left me no other choice" So, my anniversary is definitely the special day that is most ruined for me.

[This message edited by hopingforhappy at 9:32 AM, February 21st (Friday)]

Me--BW (56)
Him--FWH (53)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 20 years
DS-18, DD-15
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!

Posts: 1338 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ Member
Member # 37255
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

February 14th for me this was the first time he came back after moved out the week and went to his parents house and took every item out of the house that belonged to him the A wasn't out in the open yet she was still just a friend he talked to the reason for him leaving was my dad living with us at the time my dogs but it was her so on v day I went to his parents house with a big Iloveyou ballon his favorite candy and beer and a card telling him how much I love him and I begged I pleaded I threw myself at him and cried for him to please come home and he did only to later leave in march again after promising our children he would never leave us again v day is hard I remember walking threw walmart just a broken person while he got me sum wilted flowers and iam sure he was texting her and wanting her and not me the whole time

3 awesome kids

Posts: 179 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: My own nightmare
♀ Member
Member # 8291
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hum….seems Christmas, Wedding Anniversaries, and Valentines rate in the top "10" on the hit list of what day is the most tainted.

Although I do have to agree with a number of posters that every day seems a little tainted now. More so in my situation because ow and her family still live 2 houses from us. Tends to make everyday kind of suck if you know what I mean. I actually at one time pre-a thought h was a pretty intelligent man. Guess I was wrong.

Posts: 2465 | Registered: Sep 2005
♀ Member
Member # 37984
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H's 50th birthday. We were going through a bad patch and I made a decision to go all out for his b'day and make it really special. I bought him a really special 'day out', I organised a BIG party, I arranged for him to spend a day going to a major end of season football match (team were promoted!!). I tried so hard to be the perfect bloody wife and ignore all my own resentments and niggles.

OW turned up at the party and proceeded to make it all about her as she was trying to leave her H. Lots of fuss, I even hugged her and offered her a bed for the night ... shudder!!! More than one person told me after the event he had been following her around like a loveshack pup....I was too busy looking after our guests to notice. There were several people from work who KNEW about the affair. That still makes me want to scream with rage and humiliation!

Dday was just under a month after that. Things just kept adding up and causing niggles that wouldn't stop.... He was an utter SHIT to me and the kids.

Me - BW 49
H - 52
T 31 years
M 21 years

3 children from 11 to 17.

EA with coworker for 6m maybe longer. She was 25!!
Dday 26/6/2012.

Reconciling. Hard work isn't it?

Getting there!

Posts: 94 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: UK
♀ New Member
Member # 41366
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Easter is the worst. He went to be with her after decorating eggs with us then went to visit my dad in the hospital the next day with us. Multi tasking master. :'(

Posts: 7 | Registered: Nov 2013
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Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are many but I think the most tainted would have to be my second dd's birthday. I found out about the A 10 days before she was born. I remember regretting the decision to conceive her after i discovered the A, and wanting to just die. Each birthday will forever be the number of years old she is and also how many years I've been suffering through this mess. Two more months and she will be two and I I'll have been hurting for two years straight. :(

Posts: 282 | Registered: Sep 2012
New Member
Member # 42552
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out the day before Thanksgiving and waited until Christmas to confront. Holidays suck.

Posts: 18 | Registered: Feb 2014
♂ Member
Member # 34875
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From mid October (when they met...and immediately started the A) to mid January ( when I found out) pretty much sucks.

married 21 yr

Posts: 175 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Halloween because that's the day fWS f****d her.

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
♀ New Member
Member # 42427
Default  Posted: 5:58 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My entire trip to the UK in 2012. I can't even look at my photos now because they relate to the timeline of his A. My whole memory of my trip is ruined.

A: July 2012
WS: Him
OW: his best friend

Posts: 18 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lets see affair began around nov. Lasted until

- Thanksgiving, he was texting calling her, distant mean

- christmas, more texting emailing. Even more mean and distant

- new years, mow was his new lurvvvve...i was an annoyance

- nieces birthday, i was shit...he disappeared for hours and lied about everything and anything.

- our anniversary, ignored me...couldnt stand me barely saw him

- valentines day, rushed out that day to get me a card and flower...i think he felt bad he hadnt thought of me. To busy screwing mow.

- st. Paddy's day, ignored us all to sneak off with mow

- easter, daughter sick with MRSA, im caring for her while wh is off banging his old fugly married whore.

-opening season for fishing, he took mow to our family cabin and screwed her. Told me he missed me. Had sex with me before he left..then 2hrs later was screwing her. Came home the next day and slept with me...disgusting

- mothers day, comment to our kids when they ask wh what hes gonna do for me,"shes not my mother! Shes yours! Im not doing anything"

I think for wh the only day ruined is fathers day. Fathers day fell right after d-day. The kids didnt to squat for him that year nor have the since. They used to make him amazing gifts and cards. He still has them. Any how the affair and the way wh treated us during it on those holidays and special days was pretty bad. They are forever tainted. I stuff it and smile.

Together 21yrs married 18yrs
2 kids, now 19 & 16
Bw: now 38
Wh: now 37
Mow: now 50
1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010

Posts: 1079 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
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