The sea is so wide, and my boat is so small.
There's nothing wrong with that. It's really common to have a letdown.
Lean into it. Be gentle with yourself. Maybe go for a walk or a run or something to clear your head if you feel up to it. But what ever you do, don't beat yourself up for feeling as you do. Huge hugs.
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in." -Cohen
At under a year? Even though he was out and my LS was done, the house was in my name and all the finances split? I was still a mess!! It takes time. You are going to be ok. It's been a whirlwind. You need time to get use to your new reality. Just breathe, and take it one day at a time. You are ok.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
I think we hit a point where we're no longer in fight or flight mode, and we just need to shut down for a while. It's okay to feel what you feel, or don't feel, for a while. (((tripletrouble)))
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
You go ahead and be sad honey. Just be sad, sad, sad. Cry til you can't cry anymore.
One day, you will be lying there on the floor in a puddle and realize you'd rather do something else that day. Like shower or put on clean clothes.
But there are also some rules...
You must eat and drink your water.
You must reach out to someone in real time if you feel like hurting yourself.
It's a process. All the hills on the roller coaster have to be ridden before you can get off the ride.
It's going to be OK.
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for The Lord.
Colossians 3:25 : Anyone who do
Its more a complete lack of hope or happiness for my future.
Luckily, or unluckily, I had a major depressive episode 20 years ago. So I know that as dark as it is now, and as hopeless as it seems, there is an end to this tunnel of despair. It does get better. The nasty trick of clinical depression is that it convinces you that there is no possibility of future happiness. But there will be joy again.
Trust those who have BTDT. It's what I am clinging to. Good luck.
You will not always feel like this. It will pass. Just take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself, reach out. You are going to be just fine, I know it.
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Treat yourself like you would treat a dear girlfriend going through it. You would be kind and generous and reassuring to her, wouldn't you? You would understand, and you wouldn't tell her to hurry up, and you wouldn't think she was "moping" - you would listen to her gently because you knew she was in pain and needed to be loved and heard.
Stay with your therapist and believe her when she points out how far you've come; you have.
I have read your posts and come to care for you so please take good care when we can't.
For a while. When you need to.
Just remember the whole time that this, too, shall pass. And enjoy the wallow.
Give yourself a time limit. A day, a week. I'd guess a month is too long, but spend the time ranting, raving, railing, yelling, screaming, crying. Take long hot baths, find things to break. Draw pictures with lots of red ink. Buy a new journal and fill every page with "I hate this" or "It isn't fair". Sleep in if you can; read trashy escapist books.
Don't examine stuff, don't overthink stuff, don't judge yourself and say "I should be over this" or "I should do this or that today to start healing".
Now, I think when you're done wallowing, you should get back to work on healing, growing, taking positive steps.
But you don't need to do it all the time. There's not a slavemaster looking over your shoulder, holding a whip.
Take a break.