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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 13
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He actually believes he will be able to waltz into my future homes!!!!!!

Mine also went through my things before I changed the locks. He took things, copied files from the computer, deleted things from the computer, and searched through all of my papers and books.

Also, I agree with CG about items that are really important to you or irreplaceable family heirloom type things. Remove the precious things from your home. Unless he can specifically say which exact book titles he wants, I doubt he would. If he gets to look at a stack of them, he'll take the best ones, even though he really probably has no interest in having them.

Our D went on for 2 years with him not being allowed into the home. He actually petitioned to have a "walk through" so he could pick items he wanted. 2 years later! He was finally told he could submit a list of items. He asked for 3 things. He never came to get them, so I guess they must've been real important to him.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7782 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other thing to do when "exchanging" property is document, document, document.

He had this junky pressed cardboard with sticker wood tack paper over the top chest of drawers. It weighed like 2lbs. Cheap. Anyway, I returned it to him and THANK goodness, I photographed it.

He claimed that I had damaged it and wanted me to reimburse him for his damaged HENREDON chest of drawers!!!

I don't have any problem with cheap furniture. I have plenty of it myself. But I don't try and pass it off as Henredon when it's obviously from Hobby Lobby.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But I don't try and pass it off as Henredon when it's obviously from Hobby Lobby.

Lol, sadtoo!

Reminded me of xWH#1 who was semi-normal, but as a lot of these WS's felt entitled. He asked about the couch and love seat and I reminded him that my grandparents paid for half of it. Then I went through the list of the rest of the furniture: coffee table, end tables, kitchen table were all hand me downs from various people. The dining room table a gift from my grandparents, our bedroom furniture was my uncle's when he was a kid, etc. He shut up pretty quick.

Now, I'm looking around the house trying to decide what present NPD WH might want, and I realized the same thing. A lot of odd tables are from my first M, (Still have my uncle's bedroom furniture), Almost everything is second hand furniture and a lot of garage sale items that I used for decor. I laughed to myself if he wants to argue about items that I bought for a dollar at garage sales or the dollar store. But knowing him, he'll argue over anything just to be a pain in the butt.


Posts: 1938 | Registered: Jan 2010
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Care. The timing is good for your reminder. I will do it quietly next week. I'll just put away the sentimental things, a few signed books, and some other small items that would make me sad to lose.

I see a theme here: they don't really WANT the stuff at the end!

Which explains why his stuff is still sitting here in my house, 2.5 years later. He doesn't really want it.

Do NPDs not care about things? Except to fight over them?

Separately, I think the results from the forensic analysis of his computer come back tomorrow. I really don't want to see them. I assume it's all awful SA stuff. Gross.

And he hasn't paid the custody evaluator, who is now mad at him.

Nine weeks until trial. And then it's all over. Sometimes I forget about him. Everything else in my life is normalized and falling into place. People are good, friends help, job search positive and going well. And then I remember him and the trial.

I think I finally hit the point where he hardly exists in my head anymore. That feels so good!

-Hope


Posts: 1592 | Registered: Oct 2011
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do NPDs not care about things? Except to fight over them?

I think they only care about having the things that will:

1. Make them look good in some way or please the AP (the newest and nicest things).

2. Cause us emotional pain or really piss us off to lose or fight over.

3. Cause us financial hardship to replace.

4. Give them some narcissistic leverage against us. "I have something you don't have, and I konw you want it..."

Things mine outright took from the house were plain creepy. I really don't understand the true motivation, but what he "stole" from the house were sex toys, intimate photos, the video camera and the intimate videos. Truly I don't know if he did this just to weird me out, or if they were trophies of some sort, or if he was going to use those things with OW.... it's just creepy knowing that he has them.

Hope, I'm glad you are going to remove some items from the house. It's likely he won't even remember or ask for them, but you can cross that bridge when you get to it. After 2 1/2 years things get broken, lost, stolen, sold, donated. KWIM?


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7782 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I originally left for a hotel (it was xmas time and nobody was showing houses). When I got my house I rented a u-haul and went to pick up the bedroom I had been staying in (guest bedroom). Other than the basics for work, left everything else there.

Bad idea? Only if you think things are more important than piece of mind. I'll follow people's advice of letting her decide what she wants first. Let them show her cards, then I'll figure out what I want to salvage from my old life.

In reality this has been such a shock that I don't know if I even want anything other than the contents of my home office, and even those are replaceable.

It's bad for stbxww that I came to this country with a suitcase of clothes and a low balance checkbook, and built a life with her with only that. Philosophically, I really don't mind starting from scratch. Done it before and I can do it again, except this time it will be on my terms.

I'm certainly more detached from material things than I am from her. I'll get there though.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 590 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gotplayed

You've been there before you know how to avoid the pitfalls of someone going thru it the first time around.

XH and I agreed that I would buy him out of the house-when he realized it was important to me for the kids:he showed up with a realtor looking to list the house. Same week he and ow were window shopping my items. He did the same crap when I was interviewing for a job that would require me to relocate outside of Baltimore. He threatened getting an injunction against me moving the kids(but he wanted me to get this job) until I signed his agreement! I very quietly told him who to contact at the kids schools to have their records sent to the schools his address was zoned for, and that I would have the kids pack all their belongings and be ready to stay next pickup. Long silence on his end then the words:"I thought your kids meant more to you than that"! He used the term " your kids". They are "our" kids.

It was very telling.. And scary


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh gosh. He told me he loved me.

He said

I love you.

And for a split second my resolve wavered.

And then I read the words around it.

I spent years of our marriage letting you win all those points you think you need because I love you and you know this. But you shit all over that.

Oh. Nevermind.

Isn't that just my marriage? I spent the whole thing just hearing "I love you" and ignoring the rest.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 486 | Registered: Nov 2013
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think they only care about having the things that will:

1. Make them look good in some way or please the AP (the newest and nicest things).

2. Cause us emotional pain or really piss us off to lose or fight over.

3. Cause us financial hardship to replace.

4. Give them some narcissistic leverage against us. "I have something you don't have, and I konw you want it..."

Yes. Exactly.

I remember getting a call from one of my best friends one night. She was really upset because she had just seen him. We had maybe been separated for two or three weeks. My girlfriend knew we were separated, but like me, she didn't know all the details of what was going on. My girlfriend is a florist and had done all the flowers in our wedding. He introduced her to the OW as his "fiancÚ". And introduced MY girlfriend to the OW as his "very dear friend." And then he asked her if she would do the flowers FOR THEIR WEDDING!!!!!

My girlfriend was flabbergasted and said, "No Dumbass, I will not! Sadtoo is my friend, NOT you. And you are still married to her. What is wrong with you???"

The OW stood there looking stupid and confused.

It's true. They only want the good things from the marriage. The nice "things"; the friends who can *do* something for them; they want what they know will hurt us if they take it away.

They have no true feeling for their own children. They are nothing but another "prop" in their twisted world.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 2:41 PM, March 24th (Monday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's true. They only want the good things from the marriage. The nice "things"; the friends who can *do* something for them; they want what they know will hurt us if they take it away.

They have no true feeling for their own children. They are nothing but another "prop" in their twisted world.

This gave me a chill.

I've come to the conclusion this week that STBX wants to waltz in and out of my future homes because he knows that they will be calm, orderly, nice, and filled with normal people. He likes to imagine himself as one of these people. Right now, when he's hanging around our marital home with our sweet children, he gets that feeling. It is very valuable to him.

Which means trouble to me.

As for his feelings for his children, I can't quite put a label on it. I know they are very valuable to him. He gets quite histrionic about them. But when he's with them, I hear fatigue and boredom in his voice unless he's all sappy with them. One extreme and the other.

Today he brought them to some indoor public pool somewhere. He played catch and tag with them. All I could think was, "Wow. You refuse to get a job and properly support your children. You refuse to end your extreme SA, extremely dangerous behaviors. And you have some sort of arrested development." It's like they are his playmates or something.

Shudder.

Sadtoo: so happy your friend spoke up, nice and clear, to him!


Posts: 1592 | Registered: Oct 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what is worse, the kids unknowingly being a prop for his imaginary public or them knowing they are props to his imaginary stage life.

3 of my kids know, not sure if the 4th realizes it yet.

When they were little they greeted him at the door yelling " daddy's home!" While climbing over each other to get to him - a NPD dream!

When they got to school and as the grades got tougher, he wasn't met at the door as much-to hardly ever. THAT was the beginning of his unhappiness in the marriage. And of his gaslighting and devaluing behaviors of me.

He only shows up to stuff for the kids where he can get a pat on the back or a congrats. Practices-nope. Places he has to pay a fee to watch his kid perform-nope. But the awards ceremony - he's early and sitting front and center!

And he only shows up with NW-she's a bigger narc, he's part of her public. She's his stage director, since he can't do anything without her knowledge and permission!

It's friggin unbelievable some days.

Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After reading what all of you go through when you share children with your narc, I just can't imagine the added pain. My heart goes out to you.

I makes me grateful that we never had children. We tried, I had several miscarriages. Now, I am grateful for those unanswered prayers.

I had to break nc yesterday per judges order. Judge told me to call and verbally give date and time and place to stbx.

It was horrific. I froze when I heard his voice. It felt like my heart stopped. I said too much. I didn't mean to. I had it planned in my head and then the emotions took over.

He asked how I was and I started to cry. He asked if I thought it was fair that he would have to pay me when I was getting the house and everything in it.

I replied, I am getting a mortgage, a house with negative equity, a house that I cannot sell. He replied well at least you have a house to live in with your son. Yes a house in need of repairs that I can barely pay for.

Is it fair that I have my life turned upside down, that everything I thought was true is a lie?

I told him I feel like I have been conned. He replied, "you have".

He was at the grocery store that I go to. He lives in a different town. I asked why are you there? He said, "I was hoping to run into you".

I was actually getting ready to go there. I did not go. Did not leave the house the rest of the day. Took a pill and slept all day. It sucked all my energy.

That comment made me nervous. I believed that he would do anything to avoid me. Now, I don't know what to believe. I suppose I must be on guard at all times. Believe nothing. I thought he had a new source and I was forgotten. Now???? I just don't know. Just be prepared.

I feel heartbroken again, nightmares, I felt like I was just starting to climb out a bit. It doesn't take much to push you back down.

This too shall pass.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

divorcing


Posts: 1253 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cantaccept)))

Time to find a different supermarket, even if it's just for a couple months.

A lot is made about the marital home. And I get it, because it pisses me off that she's in it and has everything, even temporarily, but there was one giant silver lining to moving out, and that was the opportunity to change habits. It's an area I don't like as much but it does have everything walking distance including a supermarket. I haven't run into her as a result. She doesn't know my new habits and I'm not telling her.

Make a note of what he's doing on a spreadsheet with date, time, location, how he showed up and what he said. Because put together it will probably constitute stalking and enough for a restraining order.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 590 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He was at the grocery store that I go to. He lives in a different town. I asked why are you there? He said, "I was hoping to run into you".

This is really scary. Mine would never do anything like that, but I know that others here will have good advice for you.

I agree that you should find a new supermarket, and also make sure that your home is safe and secure, etc.

(((HUGS)))


Posts: 1592 | Registered: Oct 2011
Quakingaspen
♀ Member
Member # 41153
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe))) I've missed you all and kept you in my prayers. I am sort of confused and ashamed of how I act like a crazy teenager and only come on when I am feeling lost and need help. To be honest, though, it is a real comfort to be able to do that. Hopefully I will get to a place to be able to pay it forward.

OMG I totally relate to the collections of meaningless crap that has more "emotional" value to him than people do. Half of my garage is full of boxes that are his college books, his childhood toys, his magazines, his other collections. He's actually become physically violent at the suggestion of getting rid of some of it.

NC was going amazing. I found a L that is amazing and is everything the others I've seen was not. I've been going out and dancing on my own (literally and figuratively), planning for the future, improving my resume, optimistic for a week at a time (!). And then "things" have to be discussed. Things like the kids' spring break and vehicle issues.

He spent forever on my couch, monologuing about his change, his long-term amorphous needs, the brand-new way he sees things... etc. His grand opener was that the kids and I are the only things he wants. Every attempt of mine to redirect to the "things" was twisted back. UGH, but he stuck it out, and despite my carefully schooled detachment, I ended up falling for it. I blabbed some things in emotion (and honestly, possibly out of sheer exhaustion as well) that I KNOW don't matter to him except for how he can use it. One thing I told him isn't a secret, but is an annoying benefit to him divorcing me sooner rather than later. Suddenly he's interested in finding out "legal solutions" to our problem. So after he left, all happy and grateful to me for this amazing conversation, I just felt growing dread. Still feeling it. Yeah, think we're definitely getting strict about limiting talking about "things" to email. Grrr....
To top it off, NC is going to be limited because family is coming in the next couple of weeks to visit. He said he was going to have to call them to "set them straight" on some of the facts of what is going on with us, which I took to mean that he's been either telling them or letting them assume I am a huge controlling bitch and he's afraid they're going to say something to me about it. That's fantastic. I don't feel like I can just bow out of the whole thing because the kids asked me to stay because they don't feel comfortable with him let alone being alone with him and his family.
Meanwhile Admiral Ackbar is screaming "It's a trap!" in my head. I am realizing there is a pretty big boundary here that I think is being breached. But I am still paralyzed by fear of being unreasonable at the most inconvenient times. And stupidly, his acknowledgment of the likelihood of D, while I am sure it is what I want, still hurts me. Bizarrely, in the same breath, he asked if once the divorce was final I would marry him again right away.

Thanks for the ears (eyes?) folks, it really helps so much. If anyone's got any guidance about what I need to do about the kids not wanting to spend time with him, that would be helpful. On the one hand, I know they're going to have to have some sort of relationship with him, but on the other hand, I don't want them exposed to the same emotional abuse we've been putting up with for so long. I am seeing IC and L next week, so will hopefully get all of it sorted out, but needed to put it somewhere so I can hopefully accomplish something today!

Oh yeah, if there's a G2G, I am totally in. I would be honored to meet such beautiful people.


The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry.~David Duchovny

WS-SA/NPD
D-Day: Too many in 17 years of marriage. LAST time 10/17/2013.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: A little bit closer to Reality
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can,
You're doing great. Go back to NC and shop somewhere else.

Your STBXNPD is so manipulative.

The thing that stands out for me in your conversation is this:

He asked how I was and I started to cry. He asked if I thought it was fair that he would have to pay me when I was getting the house and everything in it.

He is only concerned about HIMSELF. He doesn't want to pay you. He doesn't want you to have the house. He doesn't want you to have the household contents. Forget the fact that YOU will have a mortgage and will be paying for YOUR house. In his NPD mind, it is HIS house and he already paid for it. Now you're getting it for free, plus all of his stuff and more of HIS money.

I told him I feel like I have been conned. He replied, "you have".

This comment is just plain *mind fuc&ing* and probably thrown out there to make you think:
A) either he agrees with you.
B) there's some other mysterious conspiracy going on out of his hands.

He was at the grocery store that I go to. He lives in a different town. I asked why are you there? He said, "I was hoping to run into you".

I think this comment is more NPD jibberish too. I would still be careful. But I really, really, really get the sense that your NPD is a sneaky lying coward.

Hang in there, Can. You're getting there.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Quakingaspen
♀ Member
Member # 41153
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Can)))

I am sorry that I missed that last post of yours before I posted my wah-mble!

What you described is exactly how I feel when I have to talk to mine. Never prepared enough. I also told mine that I felt like he'd perpetrated an almost 20 year fraud on me, and he said,"That's because I have." I think it's just another dig because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. It makes me feel low and him feel good. Typical. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.


The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry.~David Duchovny

WS-SA/NPD
D-Day: Too many in 17 years of marriage. LAST time 10/17/2013.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: A little bit closer to Reality
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When they were little they greeted him at the door yelling " daddy's home!" While climbing over each other to get to him - a NPD dream!

When they got to school and as the grades got tougher, he wasn't met at the door as much-to hardly ever. THAT was the beginning of his unhappiness in the marriage. And of his gaslighting and devaluing behaviors of me.

Kajem: OMG! Thank you, thank you for posting this! I really needed this affirmation. WH kept saying that I turned the kids against him (they are teenage boys) and although I kept saying that I can't change thousands of years of normal teenage behavior, he kept at me telling me I turned them against them. Of course the OC's are young and two are little girls that fawn all over him.

Can: Your stbxh's comment about how he was hoping to run into you was probably some idiotic attempt at being charming. Why go to the store that you usually go to? Because that is what he knows. My WH brought OW and the 3 OC's to every place we went. He doesn't know anything else. Can't think on his own. Unfortunately, I agree with the others, that you may have to go somewhere else for a time.

I have a question for all you wonderful people here. I've been going to IC for years since DDay. A lot of FOO and a LTA where WH married OW overseas and had 3 OC's with her. I'm finally realizing how much emotional abuse I've had from FOO and WH. I believed all the lies and gaslighting that WH gave me even though my gut and head were shouting at me because I so wanted to BELIEVE the lies (or needed to?)

My friends and older sons (from xWH#1) are upset and angry at me for putting up with NPD WH's crap all these years. How can I ever explain how messed up I was (or became being with a NPD) all these years?

How can I forgive myself? My friend who was there for me since DDay, and literally saved my life is now blaming me for DS18 and DS15 being messed up because I didn't stand up to NPD WH years ago? WH is not speaking to me because he feels I turned our kids against him.

I feel so alone.

I just told DS15 that I may have done a lot of things wrong but for the right reasons. I was so of D'ing WH years ago because he might kidnap our DS's and take him overeas.

I was living in fear.

I have been living in fear for so long. Now, I'm starting to get stronger and when I need my IRL support system, they seem to have had it with me. I understand, I really do.

Thank you for listening to me vent.


Posts: 1938 | Registered: Jan 2010
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((honest))) no worries friend, you are not alone.
I kick myself in the pants for the mistakes I've made. Experience is that thing you get - right after you need it sister, don't be so hard on yourself...

(((QA))) this jumped out at me

Bizarrely, in the same breath, he asked if once the divorce was final I would marry him again

Here's what I did when I heard that. I entertained that as a possibility. It soothed her. Quieted her down. Didn't alarm her that she was about to lose her supply.

I was at the point of realizing that feeding her need for narcissistic supply advantaged me,
and played accordingly.

Do the same. In your own way of course, just be...convincing. It's not that hard after all.

(right now, I'm lmao, knowing there's others forward)


Posts: 6425 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can,

They can have that effect on you, especially when they do things to pull you back into the fear. He did that waiting for you in your supermarket. If you feel fear-honor that feeling.

The good part in this is once you climb out of the deep dark hole, you know the way out and it takes less time to recover from the inevitable setbacks.

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker is a very good read. It's helped me to learn to listen and trust my gut. There is a website listed in the book (I think it's) www.mosaic.com on the website is a threat test. You can do the test to assess just how bad a threat he is to you. Your local law enforcement might be interested in your assessment. When I did my assessment, the sheriffs office was interested, especially once NW got a concealed weapons permit!

Please don't ever underestimate the NPD. When they feel threatened with exposure they can react like a cornered animal. It is scary!

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
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