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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 13
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok Tribe,

I think I've definitely decided to fire my attorney. I have the draft written of the email I'm going to send as soon as we have this one document signed and in hand.

I'm consulting with a new attorney on thursday, so with or without said document, current counsel will have to be terminated prior to that.

The current guy is nice and sympathetic, but he just isn't going to be aggressive or assertive enough to deal with WH, I don't think.

HE causes me anxiety, and I just don't have any to spare right now.

I decided it's probably best to change attorneys BEFORE I file. Less paperwork and less hassle. I think current guy would have been great if we were doing a dissolution successfully.

I'm going to have to call my parents and borrow some money, as I can't take anything of that amount out of our joint accounts right now. I hate that.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((Nekorb)))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4984 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Change in plans already!

Well I hope anyway...I'm going to email potential new atty and see if he is able to meet with me tomorrow vs Thursday.

Received another text from CAT saying he isn't moving his stuff out if I don't pay for his move. Not what we discussed AT ALL. I'm assuming this is in response to letter Nice Guy atty sent out today.
he's being quite the fuckwit for someone who still needs my signature to complete the purchase of his new home.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've lurked on this thread a while, and You.All.Are.Amazing!

I'm scared to post details here...that they might be used against me in court later :( my story involves things like foreign countries and visas.

I'm well past most emotional affects and into detachment, but the road ahead holds so much uncertainty that _that_ stresses me out. I can't seek legal counsel just yet....because of where I live. In the meantime, this forum has become a lifeblood. Thank you for this wonderful resource and support!

[This message edited by meleanoro at 5:08 AM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2005
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:27 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome meleanoro.

The folks here in this forum are awesome. They've held my hand when necessary, 2x4's when necessary, and virtual holding my hair back while I vomit.

Post what you can when you need to. We will be here.

(((Hugs)))


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, nekorb!

There are so many ah has in this thread, I could spend all day listing them.

Early this year, after finding more porn, I told my H that basically, if he kept choosing that shit, I'd leave.

He was "remorseful" for all of 2 days, and now it's back to secrecy and hiding.

In the past few weeks, I've learned I dont even WANT to 180. I'm just practicing the fine art of the 90 (linked in this thread) until my ducks are good to go.

Tonight I got a bit tipsy (not a frequent drinker) and noticed that unlike previous drunken times, there was no jadedness left in me. No hope. No wishful thinking or hoping he would change. In the midst of a Long Island fallout, clarity was solid: this entire relationship is a farce. And my prior triggers...these tiny Asian women here with their 90 pounds of pre-teen glory? He can have them. Good luck to him--overweight, unemployed, entitled, momma's boy with complexes up the wazoo. Finally, after years of crud, I know and own my worth. Finally, finally, I see the behavior not as reflective of my worth, but for how pathetic it truly is.

Detachment is the most wonderful thing in the world. And I'm so glad you lovelies here get that. Doesn't mean life is easy street, but I'm done banking on hope and blaming myself. It's strategy time, and I'm playin' a player.

[This message edited by meleanoro at 8:27 AM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2005
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

meleanoro,

Welcome to The Tribe!

Doing the 90 and getting ducks in a row are all good things. Clarity is the best thing- no matter what happens you've seen the truth. What's seen can't be unseen.

Looking forward to you sharing your story, when you feel safe enough and up to it.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4984 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, this is a pretty strange situation and it's going to be upsetting to some people. Just so you know. And this is really just me getting it out of my system in the only place I know where others understand.

NPDSIL got a dog, even though it explicitly states in her lease, "No Dogs". It's a big dog! A year or so ago, her landlord found out she had a dog and threatened to evict her, so she said the dog was going to a kennel, then my MIL somehow ended-up with it- you know because the kids were attached.

NOW, H's 95 y/o grandmother is moving in with MIL because she lived longer than she expected and the funds are drying up. GMIL has always ADORED cats, so she has a cat. MIL is stubborn about getting rid of the dog, so GMIL has decided to put the cat down, when she moves, rather than make it have to deal with the dog.

Now, I learned of this today. I told H it was absolutely unacceptable for GMIL to be expected to put her cat down in order for NPDSIL's dog to stay at MIL's and there HAS to be a better solution than that!

So, H is going to talk to MIL and see what we can do about the dog. I'm voting for the dog to go to a local no-kill shelter with a really good track record for fostering and placing dogs that also only has a handful of dogs right now. We're thinking we might even have to be deceptive and tell them we have a "friend" who'll take the dog, then take it to the no-kill shelter.

What boggles my mind is that no one batted an eye at this elderly woman feeling that she should put her cat down because SIL was irresponsible enough to get a dog when she KNEW she couldn't have one, so MIL ended-up taking it.

Really, who should have to give their pet up? GMIL or NPDSIL??

[This message edited by ThoughtIKnewYa at 5:26 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


Posts: 11537 | Registered: Mar 2008
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey thoughtIknewya

Can you imagine their rationalizations? Probably stuff like, "well she's old and so is the cat, so it's better to spare the dog." The way loonies justify things never ceases to amaze.

Do you think MIL will be receptive to giving the dog to "a friend"?

I'm sorry for the crazy in your life. :(


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2005
southsidecali
♀ Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is anyone open to pm? Due to legal concerns I don't want to have things twisted if EXNPD is stalking.

The New gf filed restraining order and he's been so ramped up he filed for custody papers because he has had to take care of kids for 3 days due to me being hospitalized& meds.

I am calm and know truth is on my side but with him making veiled threats- I need to protect kids.

I am making arrangements to get kids back ASAP-howver, with all that has happened I cannot just yank them back.


Posts: 772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm no expert at this southsidecali, but if you need to vent you can drop me a PM.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TIKY -

Do they know for certain that the dog and cat don't get along? Maybe they would both be just fine with the situation. You know? It's been known to happen.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((southsidecali))) I don't know if I can help, but please feel free to PM me anytime. I will get back to you as soon as I can.

-Hope


Posts: 1623 | Registered: Oct 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Southsidecali, I'm open to pm if you need to.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4984 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Southsidecali, me too.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2624 | Registered: Jan 2010
southsidecali
♀ Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will try and put things on paper to where it makes sense, right now its just a jumbled mess in trying to figure out how to best proceed.


Posts: 772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

southside, you can pm me anytime also.

I may not have advice but I will listen.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1306 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did it. I terminated my L's services.

Let the attorney interviewing begin. Must get someone retained in short order. WH is trying to buy a condo and needs my signature on some things, so need to have counsel on board to approve those.

Wish me luck!


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Aug 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending luck, mojo whatever you need Nekorb. Although I know you've got this.

Hugs, too
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4984 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
southsidecali
♀ Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually I think I can write on here- love you all wanting to help!

Anyone get a restraining order against your ex?

The new gf filed one full of lies, which only gave me the needed justification to get one against her and include him as well.

I'm having an Attny friend help me- but with revisiting the custody/visitation order asking ok to move away- how will that affect the mediation?

I had submitted in my custody change request that he would retaliate by filing court/rest orders/Cps claims... Sure enough he gets the GF to defend& protect their love.


What comes next, explaining to kids the stay away order. I don't want them involved but with keeping dad away it limits the contact with the kids.


I wanted to do it with therapist in just explaining it as a time out to our oldest. To them he is their dad and of course love him and I always tried to encourage a relationship but he is way past bat shit crazy and gf is too- right now they will damage the kids.

[This message edited by southsidecali at 10:11 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


Posts: 772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
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