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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 13
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wontdefineme right there with you as my Ex turns 50 next month. I am so glad that I will not have to witness or participate in that nightmare now. He has Barbie now to stroke that massive ego and if not done correctly she can feel the wrath. I am tempted to send a Barbie and Ken doll set as a gift since that is his imagined reality for the moment in his twisted world. Trust me he is no Ken except in his NPD mind.


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 332 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About the dog and cat issue I posted about a while back: I tried to talk to them about finding another home for the dog, but that's a no-go. They SAY they're going to try the dog and cat together, but I don't trust them because they lie ALL THE TIME! MIL recently and totally unnecessarily lied to H about NPDSIL's whereabouts. "She's visiting old friends from high school eight hours away, every other weekend, and this one girl just LOVES her middle son because she never had any kids of her own..." We know where she is and who she's with. It's her boyfriend that she's had for a couple of years (she's M, but they live in separate states because he's military- wounded warrior, even). H didn't even ASK any questions because he didn't want to listen to lies and the way MIL just threw it out there like that hurt.

Posts: 11671 | Registered: Mar 2008
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UPDATE:

Tribe, Cat was served with divorce papers and a TRO today! Yay! Not sure what will happen from here, but hopefully it will be the end of him acting like a complete asshole and his love for money will motivate him to start negotiating.

Love my attorney.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WHOOOOOO, nekorb!!

Posts: 11671 | Registered: Mar 2008
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 3:26 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nekorb, you GO.

The tro, wow. I've read enough of your posts to assume that was probably a bit fearful for you to do? Even if not, I think you're amazing, and I hope it keeps his sorry ass out of your home.


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 263 | Registered: Jan 2005
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay Nekorb!

I mostly lurk here--no D, no kids, therefore not much ongoing drama--but I ran into my very NPD-seeming exWBF last week and also had some contact with him via text and email. I feel like it's ruined all the distance I had. I know this is why NC is so vital! But my problem is...a small part of me still wants to be attached to him, wants to hear his pathetic manipulative 'I'm sorry and I still love you' and wants to believe it too. Of course if you love someone I think you don't stab them in the back and lie about getting therapy and call them a slut and justify your way into having you continued cheating be a 'private comfort' !

Most of me can remember that actions mean more than words and that he's very broken and that he hasn't done anything to become safe and probably never CAN be safe, and that I deserve so much more, and in fact the very idea that I even hold a small part of myself open for him is totally crazy and suicidal and stupid--but, the emotional reaction, the yearning to get back that feeling of love (which was ALWAYS undercut by resentment on his part and lies and cheating anyway!), is really strong and it keeps me from blocking his number, having his emails automatically delete, etc. It's been getting easier to not think about him and to think about him in more rational ways as time goes by and my contact has dropped, but I'm just scared of being vulnerable to being manipulated--of wanting it, almost!

It's hard to admit that with friends sometimes, so thought I would vent about it here. It scares me that I haven't been able to cut him out of my heart yet.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Norabird,

A lot of NPD sites describe that feeling as a peptide addiction. If you think of breaking any addiction it takes conscious effort one. Damn. Day. At. A. Time! Don't give up. Start over and keep working on minimizing your peptide addiction.

It's the closest thing I have read that actually makes sense, to me.

It's been 11 yrs since XH left-over a year since face to face conversation, and I still hear his words in my head! Yeah peptide addictions suck! Inside my head is a different type of no contact..

I'm working on it. You do the same, one day we will be free of them.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5083 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nekorb,

Hot damn - I ❤️your new lawyer!!!

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5083 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for sharing the joy!

Had to pop in and share -because I know y'all will get it - Cat came over today!!!

AYFKM right now? Couldn't obey the RO for one DAY!

Dropped Cat an email with Bcc to L reminding him exactly what the RO says. Sent L details. I imagine he is going to have a field day with that tomorrow. Told him I don't want a contempt order or anything right now, but to scare the ever living shit out of Cat as a reminder of what the purpose of the RO is.

Unbelievable.

So glad I have IC tomorrow.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tribe, Cat was served with divorce papers and a TRO today! Yay!
TRO! I'm so excited for you!!!!! This is very good news for you and the family!! Not really surprised to hear that he had to come over anyway, but now he will see what consequences are. Go, New Attorney!

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Aug 2010
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have ya'll seen this:
http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=536649
Holly-Isis posted a wonderful set of images of things the Tribe will like!! Don't miss it!

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Aug 2010
southsidecali
♀ Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 1:53 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk about screwed up priorities, exnpd and ds had therapy appt tomorrow and we have TRO from gf on thursday. SINCE He cant miss both days he opted to cancel therapy with DS to attend the TRO with GF.

Priorities, he has them! He thinks he is going to sit there smug and gloating..boy will he get a surprise when i get the tro against both these douches.


Posts: 815 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow southside - just when you think you've heard it all....let us know how that pans out, will you?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nekorb, I am thrilled for you! Hurray! I am so happy that you now have a tool to protect yourself with don't be afraid to use it.

norabird,

I relate very closely with the struggle in NC. It is very like an addiction, it feels like an addiction.

I don't think drama is a requirement for posting here, .

The internal struggle with all of this crap is so damn hard. No one seems to "get it" like the tribe. Reading about NPD has helped me to understand my reactions, my struggle, but it is still a struggle. This shit is hard.

Divorce should be final on Aug 5th

stbxwh texted last night, "you are leaving me too, just like everyone else has. You can have your divorce, I will not show up".

I would like to respond, "everyone has left you, have you for one moment stopped and asked yourself, why is that??? Could it be that you are cold, selfish, abusive, a liar, and that you have run from every cruel thing you have ever done and left your victim bleeding???? Who left who??????? Who is the one running? " okay I would like to say a whole lot more, but instead I will say nothing.

But I will make a copy of the text about not showing up at court to bring with me, just in case he really doesn't show.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1343 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can, Kajem, I knew you would get it, thank you!

As for the 'you're leaving me' text....


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cantaccept - the next time you get a "you're leaving me" text, if you MUST respond, can you just say something simple like, "yes. I am."

Just leave it at that?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double post

[This message edited by nekorb at 11:06 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
southsidecali
♀ Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nekorb, thanks I will post update once it's done.

I am somewhat trying to keep myself busy I have so many other things going on as well and reading all the pain a lot of us are going through brings me down and right now I need to focus on my game plan.

I am glad to read you got tro, start cutting the chains, it's a lifelong process but the more we learn about npd and how textbook they all really are we can start predicting behavior.

You seem so strong but I know how stressful it can be, you make it seem easy. Remind yourself how strong and what an awesome mom you are. Your kid lucky!!

It is hard to explain to others in real life, I feel like I am always defending myself and they are supposed to be my friends

The upside of Coming here is everyone has pretty much been there done that and when we hear each other's stories it's like, yep, they are that douchey and pos and screwed up.. No need to prove how screwed up the situation is..

I found out today I had some ovarian cysts come back when I wNt in for kidney stones sonogram. I'll find out more later this week and hopefully things start clearing up.


Posts: 815 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted this in case it can help anyone. I know some tribe members might be able to use it.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=536777

Cali, take care of yourself!

(((((((Tribe)))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5083 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ssc, yes. Coming here, with no one questioning me or making excuses for the lunatic, is a relief.

Thank you all for just being here.

Hey, kajem, thanks for te peptide reference. It lead me to some decent books.

Now if only there were ways, for those of us not in NC (getting ducks here) to further protect from that peptide stuff. I wonder seriously if medication would help.


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 263 | Registered: Jan 2005
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