BS: me 42
Married almost 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed for LS - 1/16/14
Walked in on WH and my BF while her H watched.
[This message edited by iamsoblind42 at 11:24 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)]
Together we are are stronger. Thank You SI friends.
But, I'm not going to lie for her. For example, a buddy of mine (not a close friend, so I hadn't told him about the situation) asked "How's WW?" So, I said, "Well man, I don't know. We're divorcing because I don't like her boyfriend".
People will find out eventually. I'm not going to start spreading it around, but I'm not going to lie if people ask.
Initially, I told my closest friends, my mom, my sister, and my boss. I felt like I had to tell my boss because the days after getting the news, there was simply no way I was going to be worth a damn at work. Being that I manage a team of 26 people, arrangements needed to be made. I was vague with the supervisors who report to me - just said I'd be out for a few days, but eventually told them just so if rumors were gonna spread, at least the right info is out there. Like you said:
Guess I would rather they hear it from me than from the gossip mill. Just hoping there will be a new town scandal soon so that I can be old news.
Now, if someone asks, I tell them just enough. I don't want to get into the details or dates or anything, just it is what it is. Those closest to me know the rest, and it's no one else's business IMO. Hell, I have a ton of FB friends that probably don't know because I just deactivated my account the same day; just didn't want to deal with it there, and I have no desire to reactivate it any time soon.
Anyway, I have this tendency to keep rambling, so I think I'll stop now.
"Well man, I don't know. We're divorcing because I don't like her boyfriend".
I know its not a funny situation, but for what its worth, this genuinely made me laugh. I may borrow some variation of that for myself.
I live in a small rural town. I've said nothing to anyone. Can't even look at a new place to live cuz tongues will wag. We joke that you can't piss without the town knowing by end of day. Lol.
Your a brave soul.
After I found out it was amazing how many already knew or had heard. It actually upset me that all these so-called friends did not say something to me before.
My idea in the beginning and long, long before I found SI was if I told as many as possible it would no longer be fun, exciting, or a secret.
"A relationship is only made for two, but some bitches don't know how to count"
I also agree, that hearing it directly from you short circuits the rumor mill. The truth always comes out eventually, better that your friends hear it from you, and not your WH's blame shifting version. Pretty soon it'll be old news, and people will look for something else to talk about.