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Newest Member: Loriann (44709)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Now I can't stop telling people
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At first I told no one. Literally could count the people on one hand and two were doctors. Word got out anyway and it was so hurtful to know people knew for weeks and did not tell me they knew that now I can't stop telling people. Guess I would rather they hear it from me than from the gossip mill. Just hoping there will be a new town scandal soon so that I can be old news.


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 202 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
outside4me
♂ Member
Member # 42430
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me guess... small town?

Posts: 218 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
iamsoblind42
♀ Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not as small as you would think, about 50,000. My circle of friend all belong to the same swim and tennis club which is only 300 families so I think that is why it feels small town. I either know people from there or from my kids school or sports teams.

[This message edited by iamsoblind42 at 11:24 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)]


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 202 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First D-Day I told my Pastor, and 2 close friends that don't live nearby. That was it. Second D-Day I put a fb announcement up, told my Mom, my family and many friends. Now it comes up in convo and I just tell people, Yup he cheated so I'm done.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Aceofbase
♂ Member
Member # 42458
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it possible since you are moving on that you want to validate the reason you are moving on? I do think that you have a right to expose the cheater.


DD: 12/18/2013
Status: R

Happiness is a choice.


Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: USA
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent Blind! I'm sure that this is probably a big relief for you now that it's out in the open. Now hopefully other's will start to see him for who he really is.

Stay strong!


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 1948 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
RealityStinks
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get where you're coming from. I didn't tell many people at first, and there are VERY few people that know everything.

But, I'm not going to lie for her. For example, a buddy of mine (not a close friend, so I hadn't told him about the situation) asked "How's WW?" So, I said, "Well man, I don't know. We're divorcing because I don't like her boyfriend".

People will find out eventually. I'm not going to start spreading it around, but I'm not going to lie if people ask.


Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told everyone in my circle immediately, I told my friends his friends, anyone that would listen. I wasn't sure why I was doing it, just didn't really care who knew. It helped me to talk about it so I did.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((iamsoblind42))

Initially, I told my closest friends, my mom, my sister, and my boss. I felt like I had to tell my boss because the days after getting the news, there was simply no way I was going to be worth a damn at work. Being that I manage a team of 26 people, arrangements needed to be made. I was vague with the supervisors who report to me - just said I'd be out for a few days, but eventually told them just so if rumors were gonna spread, at least the right info is out there. Like you said:

Guess I would rather they hear it from me than from the gossip mill. Just hoping there will be a new town scandal soon so that I can be old news.

Now, if someone asks, I tell them just enough. I don't want to get into the details or dates or anything, just it is what it is. Those closest to me know the rest, and it's no one else's business IMO. Hell, I have a ton of FB friends that probably don't know because I just deactivated my account the same day; just didn't want to deal with it there, and I have no desire to reactivate it any time soon.

Anyway, I have this tendency to keep rambling, so I think I'll stop now.

@RealityStinks

"Well man, I don't know. We're divorcing because I don't like her boyfriend".

I know its not a funny situation, but for what its worth, this genuinely made me laugh. I may borrow some variation of that for myself.


"Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it. ― Rabindranath Tagore

Posts: 971 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Justgreatnews
♂ Member
Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Told my doctor, our M/C, and no one else.

Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rumors are always worse than reality.

I live in a small rural town. I've said nothing to anyone. Can't even look at a new place to live cuz tongues will wag. We joke that you can't piss without the town knowing by end of day. Lol.

Your a brave soul.


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
BetrayalHurts
♀ Member
Member # 34836
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ours is a very small town....750 or so including kids and pets.

After I found out it was amazing how many already knew or had heard. It actually upset me that all these so-called friends did not say something to me before.

My idea in the beginning and long, long before I found SI was if I told as many as possible it would no longer be fun, exciting, or a secret.


M 25 years
BW Me - 50's
WH Him - 60's
OW 25 years younger
D-Days too numerous to mention last D-day being 12-2-11 *OW went on fishing trip 5-21-13*

"A relationship is only made for two, but some bitches don't know how to count"


Posts: 353 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Colorado
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have nothing to be ashamed of so why shouldn't you tell people? This has all happened so quickly, maybe it helps you to accept the reality of what happened by retelling the story. I know the first couple months, it was almost like I had to convince myself that STBXH's betrayal really happened.

I also agree, that hearing it directly from you short circuits the rumor mill. The truth always comes out eventually, better that your friends hear it from you, and not your WH's blame shifting version. Pretty soon it'll be old news, and people will look for something else to talk about.

Good luck.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1651 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 13

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