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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Being there
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been wrestling with God for quite some time about sharing my life testimony with my bible study class. Not just the A stuff, but a whole lot of other stuff too. I've been trying to excuse and justify my way out of what I really feel is God's desire for me. So, I bit the bullet and set up a Sunday to do that. It happens to be this Sunday. These are people who, for the most part, have known me my entire life. I checked out for about 10 years and then showed back up, and trust me when I say that I am not exactly proud of those 10 years. I know that this is not going to be a simple task (I've even made an outline just in case I blank out). My H knows that I'm doing this and is supportive of my decision. Somehow though, I still expected him to politely excuse himself from actually being there. I mean, honestly, he's the wayward and people are definitely going to look at him differently after this. Who in their right mind would want to sit through that? But tonight, he simply said, 'I really hope I'm there to support you through all of it. I really feel like I need to be there.' Now, his work non-schedule may or may not allow him to actually be there, but that sentiment coming from him just about blew me away. Such a different response than I would have gotten even 6 months ago. My H wants to be there for me, even though it has the potential to come at personal cost to himself. Wow. Just wow.

Posts: 876 | Registered: Jan 2013
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I admire the courage you both are showing. Sending prayers.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better. Reconciled from the A's but still working hard for a better tomorrow.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2413 | Registered: Aug 2012
Hosea
♂ Member
Member # 42422
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think this will be an incredibly powerful testimony for those in your church-- I hope everyone who hears it with see what a powerful message of redemption you and your husband have. (I do so hope your husband can be there!)

Anyone who calls themselves Christian- yet stands in judgment of your contrite husband's past sins- needs to drop their stones and hit their knees in prayer. Everyone in church needs forgiveness for something-- and many of them are no doubt committing sexual sins in their private lives.

It takes so much courage to forgive an affair-- but it makes my eyes tear up picturing the kind of courage it would take for your repentent husband to stand beside you and be named as a former adulterer. What a selfless statement that would be-- honoring you at the expense of his own reputation. What a transformation -- a Wayward who once treated his spouse like garbage now standing beside her, ready to bear the trashing of his own name so that he can honor his Betrayed and her priceless gift of forgiveness.

I hope so very much that there are secret waywards in that room hearing your testimony of grace and seeing your husband's courage. What a breathtaking testimony to redemption and selfless love that would be!!!

Please keep us posted!!! And if anyone there judges your husband, kick their hypocritical asses IN JESUS' NAME!


John 8:10-11: "Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Did they not condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”


Posts: 99 | Registered: Feb 2014
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, please don't do it without your H there! Can I say that? I think he needs to be there for both of you.

Proud of you!


me - BS (45)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"An affair is more akin to a mental illness than a relationship."

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1315 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chicho - I really can't take credit for being courageous here. I've been trying to argue a way out of doing this for over 6 months. However, I've experienced firsthand the consequences of forcing MY way and I'd rather share this than live that.

Hosea - we are one of at least 3 couples in our specific class who have been effected by infidelity and probably the least judgmental class out of the adult classes in our church. I just know that owning up to your bad decisions in the privacy of your own home/marriage is totally different from sharing them with a room full of people - even trusted people.

BG - I'd rather not do it without him there, but I will if I have to. It's pretty much a guarantee that my story will take up the entire hour allotted for Sunday morning Bible study, so it is very likely that our leader won't have anything else planned. It would be terribly unfair to spring that on him as late as 6am on Sunday should my H be called out. We could wait for a Sunday when he could be there, but it could be next week or next year before that happens again. If he hadn't just taken time off, he'd ask, and if I put it off, I won't do it. Lol


Posts: 876 | Registered: Jan 2013
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just an update. I talked for about 30 minutes this morning. I think I might have gotten through 5 before the tears started and they never really stopped. Almost every woman in the room was crying with me. My H also cried silent tears from his chair. I'm sure I'll never know the full impact my words had on some, but a young man, who doesn't regularly attend our class, opened up about his personal struggles at this time. My story helped him feel like he isn't alone, and gave him hope for a brighter future that he can't yet see. It was hard, gut-wrenchingly hard, to stand before my peers and share my mistakes and my hurts, but all more than worth it if only to share hope with another hurting soul. Thanks for the prayers and support you all offered.

Posts: 876 | Registered: Jan 2013
Hosea
♂ Member
Member # 42422
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

musiclovingmom:

From one Christian Betrayed Spouse to another, I am SO proud of both you and your husband for having the courage to share your reconciliation story at your church.

I know it must've been difficult for you both, but the testimony of forgiveness and redemption in a situation that once must've seemed so hopeless is the heart of the Gospel. It means so much when people in the church have a chance to see it at work in their own midst.

God bless you both, and I pray that your marriage grows ever closer and ever brighter in the years ahead.


John 8:10-11: "Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Did they not condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”


Posts: 99 | Registered: Feb 2014
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((MLM)) I admire the courage and strength it took for you to share and for your H to be there with you. Brings a lump to my throat.

Oh Hosea this is so true!


Anyone who calls themselves Christian- yet stands in judgment of your contrite husband's past sins- needs to drop their stones and hit their knees in prayer.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 1787 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
OnAnIsland
♀ Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was so brave! you rock. And I am so glad that your husband was able to be there to witness and support you.


D-day: Christmas 2011 when i saw a text from MarriedOW to WH
D-day 2: 3/28/2013: confessed phone sex over 10 years ago (2000 or 2001) with another OW

Married for over 14 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school


Posts: 1419 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 9

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