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Newest Member: brokenwildhorse (44210)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He wants Visitaton
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBX wants regular and consistent visitation with DD. At least that is what the letter from his L to my L said.

They want to see what I am willing to agree to.

I am planning on sending the schedule I sent to STBX a month ago.

I will let him pick DD up from daycare with a schedule. The daycare will have a copy and can hold him to it.

Stipulating exchanges at public and neutral locations.

And I am planning on asking for the right of first refusal.

Anything else I should put in there?


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 485 | Registered: Nov 2013
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

be very specific about day and time and also the place of exchange. Be very specific about holidays (xmas, easter, mother's day, father's day, birthdays, any other holidays that ate important to you). Do not leave anything open to interpretation and do not be vague or open ended about anything. Sometime in the future you may want to be more flexible and that is fine, but if he ever starts jerking you around then you want something specific to fall back on. Also remember that what you set now will set a precedence for the final parenting plan so make sure you can live with it long term.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be very specific on how long you need to wait at pick-up location before you can leave due to ex not showing up. (Language used will apply to both of you though).

Be very specific on how to change the arrangement. Build in a provision to change it at intervals as the kids mature. Things are very different for 15 year olds than 5 year olds, KWIM?

also, you may want to consider a provision for short term changes. For instance in the event you need to swap weekends. How far in advance does notice need to be given...


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2605 | Registered: Jan 2010
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Consider what to do about 3-day weekends.

Include how far in advance you need to know if there's a schedule change.

Include language about who is/isn't allowed to pick her up AND who is/isn't allowed to drive her around. You don't want the 16-year old babysitter driving your baby around.

Talk about clothing & supplies. What stays at his house, what is he responsible for supplying, what needs to be returned.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome.

I am so glad I have to weekend to build my response.

I added your comments.

I put in the schedule changes and the holidays. I added teacher work days at day care, too. The driving thing is a great addition.

I feel better every time I put something down.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 485 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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