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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I didn't "meet his needs"
Lola2kids
♀ Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. What Catwoman and purple rose said.
Noting was ever enough.
We would buy something after tons of research but he would still be looking at the same item after it was already bought.
Big, huge red flag I missed.


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1405 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting observations about that always needing more thing.

WH has a thing for electronics/TVs etc. the new one will barely be free from its box and he will be talking about the next one he is going to get. I never understood that.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
GotMyLifeBck2013
♂ Member
Member # 40531
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right, my ex was a "things collector" she had so much stuff it took her four full days to move everything and there is still piles of junk in the attic and basement ive been slowly weeding through. She was and is a broken mess. Last night a friend of hers told me she was "having a hard time with the divorce" which was obviously her fishing for information. I told her i was not having a hard time. I was healing. And i didnt need my ex...was glad shes gone. The look was great, the friend was dumbfounded. Felt like pouring her a glass of kool aid.


I define me! I don't just survive, I thrive!!

Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013


Posts: 289 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ohio
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is interesting about what you all said about "stuff." Already STBWXH has bought a digital antenna, himself a new towel (we have plenty of towels that he is free to take with him. In fact, I gave a bunch to him on his way out the door), bathrobes from a fancy hotel that he stayed in in relation to his job, toys for my son, solar panels for the camper, and I'm sure there are many, many, more items that I don't know about. I've also been doing "inventory" of our household goods. All of "my stuff" is either inherited or used. All of "his stuff" is new. One of his chief complaints was that he was tired of our old, ugly, inherited bedroom furniture and that he wanted something more "modern." I never understood how broken he is until I read everyone's words. Thank you.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The lies and bullshit reasoning is the same in all the waywards. Whatever justifies their actions and makes them feel good knowing they are wrong. I have come to the conclusion my ex left our marraige years earlier and it was a slow painful death up to d day. The problems in our marraige after 19 years together were compounded ten fold at the end. Like a volcano ready to erupt. Then in a second it was all gone!! They can believe whatever bullshit they want we know the truth.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 662 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL...thats bullshit. I got the same mess after the first dday. So I made it a point to do differently in that regard. 2nd dday he finally said it had nothing to do with me.

Saying someone doesn't "meet your needs" or they want to "have sex more often" is vague. Unless they listed some stuff and you specifically said "hell no, I aint doing that.." then those statements are a set up for failure. A WS cant get mad their BS didnt give them what they wanted when they never said what they wanted in the first place.

[This message edited by NikkiD at 11:20 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also remember when we were first married and would have sex, right afterward he would say, "ok, tomorrow let's try this, or this, or this". That's when I started backing away from him,, I thought, "can this guy every be satisfied?" But, had a new baby so I didn't try to get us any"help".

Fast forward to 2011,,,he told EVERYONE who suspected he was having an affair that he could not be having an affair because his D***K wouldn't work anymore. THEN,,, when it was proven he was having an affair, he told the exact same people that I hadn't had sex with him for years (the same time as exhibit A stopped working).

Everyone thinks he is a joke (OW wanted him, she's got him) LOL


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2149 | Registered: Jan 2012
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Suspicious  Posted: 11:23 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

:::raising hand:::: this was common with me too at time of separation and divorce

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow.

The commonality between the WSs is shocking sometimes.

I truly wonder if I will ever know what a healthy sex life with appropriate boundaries looks like or if I will ever have the opportunity to experience it.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nekorb, you're 44? Yeah, I think you'll get a chance to have a healthy sex life


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope so, norabird.

Right now I can't even think about a relationship. I'm still in love with my WH. I'm still healing. I'm still fixing the things in myself that need fixing.

I'm not in a hurry. I'm taking "relationships" off the table until my kids are all graduated. (2016) I will re-evaluate then.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 31
Pages: 1 · 2

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