His teacher told me he would do very well in the "Wilson Method".
Basically ds is failing second grade. His reading is very slow and jerky (already pulled 4 days a week for reading help), his writing looks like absolute garbly-goop. BUT, if you read to him the story/questions and ASK him the answer…he knows it. He just can't read it or write it.
SO…what does a kid with a LD look like in school?? Are the pulled out constantly? Will there be a helper with him all the time? DS is already saying, "Mommy…why do i have to leave my class? Other kids don't have to go. My other friends are reading better and don't have to go. *I* am reading better!!!!". I've done the whole, "Your brain works differently…" but any other suggestions on how to TELL and TALK to my son would be appreciated.
But, what does this really mean? I think the IEP is going to state he needs one-on-one help. What about SOL's?? Are his grades taken into consideration in say…middle school, high school? I don't want him to be "dinged" because he grades are low, although he is a bright kid.
I am a little overwhelmed right now. My older dd has ADHD/OCD/Spectrum, and not to have my younger kid with a dx learning disability is…a lot. But, at least I think we are moving in the right direction. I just want to know what to expect over the next 5-10 years! How is a LD treated in middle school?? How do kids emotionally handle being "different"??
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
The Wilson method is an alternative method to teach kids to read. Very successful with kids who learn differently. And that, in essence, is what your child is dealing with, a DIFFERENCE in learning styles. His is extreme enough to warrant these services.
He will probably be pulled either 1-1 or in small groups. Sometimes both. Many of his classes will stay the same. It will depend on what he needs. Sometimes they will have a special education teacher co teach in the regular classroom.
Much will depend on his progress. It's very possible that with early intervention he will not need any services other than supportive by middle school. Don't be hasty in declassification, however, make sure he has something to fall back on should the need arise.
Above all do three things. First, find an activity in which he shines and get him involved in it. Sports, music, art, whatever. Make sure the interest is driven by HIM and that it's something he can feel good about. Second, if he expresses concern or worry about his reading/schoolwork try not to let him see your worry. Tell him that you have confidence in the grownups involved and that he's to leave the worrying up to them. And third? READ TO HIM! Don't always make it a session where he is trying to fight his way through a forest of symbols to figure out the meaning of a word, there's a time a (small) place for that, but you want him to know that reading is fun and interesting. He'll get that from you as you read great books TO him with lots of energy and inflection. Work on his writing the same way, he dictating, you writing.
And teach him to keyboard.
My experience. 37 years primary teaching, one brilliant but ld son.
Hang in there.
I know I ask a lot of questions, I have the unfortunate brain that requires huge amounts of information, then I can sort and deal.
I have no experience with LD. I know no one that has one or has a child with one. I know a LOT about ADHD/OCD.
This is new territory. I am worried that if we can't get him on track, it is soooo late in the year, I need to figure out summer help too.
He plays sports, and he is decent, but I notice he is about 1 step behind everyone else. So, it is beginning to show that he may not be great at any sport.
He just always seems to be a step behind. Like his brain is always one step behind everyone else's.
I struggled and worked my tail off for every good grade I ever got. But I did manage to get a degree in a university and finished in 4 years. Testing was always hard for me. But I got through. Now they know how to deal with this and if you have the appropriate diagnosis and problems they give oral exams.
My point is no matter what they tell you he has they are able to manage and teach him to cope and Scardy is absolutely right about him finding his passion. It helps keep you focused and eyes on the prize.
There are many special schools that teach in alternative methods through junior high and high school and transition them to fit in more traditional settings when they go to higher education. The one surgeon I worked with had a kiddo like yours she is actually in college now guess what she is going to be a teacher to help kids just like her.
So deep breath. Deep deep breath. You will get through this.
You will be notified by the school regarding their testing plans, the results, the goals they have for your child and how they plan to achieve these goals. If you are feeling overwhelmed by all of this, you have a right to have someone attend these meetings with you to serve as an advocate. Your school district will have a committee of parents with special needs children that can advise you on this. As a teacher, I encourage you to reach out to the classroom teacher with your concerns as it is his or her responsibility to meet your child's educational needs plus they have the resources there at school to answer questions.
Take heart....reading difficulties or disabilities are by no measure related to intelligence (actually all of my students with reading problems are cognitively among the most advanced) and I would advise against making a sport ability correlation just yet. Love the advice about helping to find a passion or area of expertise as this keeps confidence and strength up.
[This message edited by rainagain at 8:31 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)]
My DS was diagnosed as developmental delays when he was in preschool. I knew prior to his first birthday that something was "off" with my baby boy.
Like you, we had to push multiple times and through various channels to even get him tested. We got the standard "all kids develop at their own pace" speech. Sorry, but a three year old should be able to speak and my son wasn't.
Once diagnosed, DS was started with speech therapy through his physician/referral. Once he started kindergarten, we took that diagnosis and pushed further. Ultimately he was diagnosed as PDD-NOS and was put into the "system" for other services through the school and county.
DS has always handled his learning differences pretty well, but he was diagnosed fairly young. To start, he was in special classes full day and was taken out a few times each week for speech therapy and other services.
As he got older and he improved, he was transitioned to special modules for part of the day and mainstream classes for the remainder. As he got older, the ratio of mainstream classes vs special modules became greater.
DS is now a senior in high school. He's fully mainstreamed, though he has accomodations (longer test times, etc) that are outlined in his IEP.
He is graded just like the other kids, takes all the same standardized tests, etc...but again with testing accomodations outlined in his IEP.
This is a kid who is determined to go to college etc and have a "normal" life.
As far as how to talk to your son and tell him, I vote for honesty. XWH treats DS like an invalid, which irritates me. DS is very bright and capable. It sounds like your DS is as well.
They just process the information differently and it make take more time. I speak to my son about his developmental issues in terms he can understand. I can recall saying, "If someone only speaks French, but they're in a room where people are only speaking English, does that mean he's stupid? No, it just means he doesn't know that language. Your brain is kind of like that. Sometimes it speaks in a different "language" than everyone else, so it takes longer for you to learn. Once you learn your brain's language, you do really well".
And for the most part that has been true. It does take longer for DS to learn things (and he has short term memory issues), but once he grasps a concept, he's LEARNED it.
DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs
I edit often for clarity.
It's overwhelming, isn't it?! And so hard to watch our little ones have to struggle.
Everyone is giving you good advice on the IEP, getting services, and so on. So I will address the other activity part:
For sports, you might look into something that is NOT team based and/or not competitive. Lots of kids love to do some sort of martial arts -- this is a great activity for learning self control, respect, rules following, problem solving...Excellent sport. Or something like rock climbing (excellent sport for skinny kids) -- see if there is a climbing gym and try out a class.
Hiking, nature study?
Does he like dogs? Maybe he could volunteer to walk a dog for an elderly person in the neighborhood? He could even earn a little money that way, but volunteering is a nice way to start.
Arts and crafts are good, but check out word of mouth -- you want someone who is interested in helping children explore, rather than "get really good at" it, at least at this age. Doesn't have to take a class -- get him the materials, let him play.
Robotics, lego robotics, junior science, that sort of thing. Sometimes these are run through children's museums, or science-y kids stores, or colleges and universities.
BTW, books on cd are great for all kids. You can borrow the books for free from the library. They can also be pretty cheap on Amazon if you buy them used.
His other passion and thing he has really enjoyed as a teen is working with our bees, he is quite good. He finds it calming and soothing, and can manage a hive better than me.
My point being, whatever you get him involved in let him guide it, and it doesn't have to be sports related, as many of these kids are not all that coordinated, and end up being the benchwarmers anyway.
I've also told him the everyone's brain works differently speech. I also told him that it was his job to try his best and his teachers job to teach him in a way that he could understand. Kind of like a "team" mentality. The thing that I feel is the most admirable about kids with LD is that they try so fricken hard all. the. time! Working hard on school work is all they know. DS15 takes hours to finish a test while his classmates are finished in 30 minutes or less. He goes during his breaks and after school to finish his test. I know that I didn't have that kind of focus or work ethic at his age.
PM if you have any questions. Take care!
I received the report from the school,(15 pages long…) most of it I can't begin to decipher, but some of the areas he is "Below Average" in are:
He presented with significant difficulty mastering new knowledge of abstract symbols even when his errors were corrected.
XXXX was asked to hold a span of numbers in awareness and reverse the sequence and repeat a list of unrelated words in correct sequences. XXXX demonstrated Average ability on the Number Reversed task, which is a measure of Working Memory. His performance on the Memory for Words task was in Below Average range, which is a measure of Memory Span. XXXX often added words or omitted words to the sequence. He appeared to want to put the words into a sentence, rather than just repeat back what he heard.
XXXX Auditory Memory Span was measured to be within Below Average range, overall, with a standard score of 83 obtained. This score may suggest the presence of a processing deficit in the narrow ability of Memory Span.
There was also a lot of talk about aversion techniques he is putting into place to not answer. He also registered as "borderline average to below average" in several areas.
I haven't quite taken it all in yet. It isn't simply "dyslexia" or…any "label" and the fear of something wrong with his memory is…crazy.
The meeting is this week with the school, and my understanding is that if he came in at "Below Average" in at least one area…he qualifies for "Exceptional Education". He came in below average in 3 areas and borderline in several more.
Also…from what I could understand, 27% was considered the low end of "average".
Do you get a time to meet with the diagnostician, and really talk about all of this, and what it means? If that hasn't been set up yet, as for it. The teachers that do this stuff are absolutely amazing, and their goal in life is to get these kids educated, just like the rest of em.
DS12 has needed help since before preschool. We thought his only issue was language development. When he was tested we found out he had motor skill and learning disabilities, too. He qualified for a special preschool at age 3 and then repeated Kindergarten to allow his skill to catch up with the other kids. It was the best thing for him.
In both Texas and Georgia he had an IEP and they worked with him as much as needed. As far as taking him out of the classroom, his resource teachers only took him out of class as needed to help him develop. He hated leaving class for speech and that was the most frequent. The other areas where he got help have been in conjunction with the classrooms and he often gets to take standardized tests separate from the rest of the class so he can ask clarifying questions.
He just started Middle School in August and is doing really well. He started struggling in math and they pulled him into a smaller classroom and then the resource teacher noticed he understood the concepts but struggled with the actual arithmetic so we approved the use of a calculator. He still has to demonstrate the work but he doesn't have to get hung up on the details of the actual addition or multiplication. I've been really please at how they are working with him and the close attention he gets. I hope you have a positive an overall experience as we have.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
I am in an excellent school district, I moved into my neighborhood BECAUSE of the schools.
The meeting where all of this explained, and the recommendations that follow, is tomorrow (as long as snow doesn't interfere).
As they explained to me, ds has been "carried" due to having well educated parents and exposed to a lot of stimuli..and somewhere learned to memorize words that are less than 3 letters. So, this wasn't caught any earlier, although he did show minor struggling in first grade, but the teacher wasn't concerned at that point. I was concerned last year, but the school said "just give him time". In Kindergarten he was reversing letters, but they said it was still within normal range.
I was also told most kids aren't caught until around 4th grade, so between a pushy parent (me) and a great second grade teacher…caught early.
I think I'm just holding my breath until the meeting. Then I will have a better grasp of what they are telling me, and what direction the school recommends to go.
I was really…mourning….when I first figured out there was a real problem. I have already gone through this with my dd and I assumed my ds would be my "easy" kid. I'm just trying to adjust to having two kids with special needs, and all the arguing that goes on with the schools. It is exhausting.
It makes it worth it when the LD kid with issues grows up to be a successful adult, and happy with their life....At least that's what my mom says.
Although I remember many many evenings sitting at the dining room table crying and fighting over some of the stuff I had to learn.
*one last thing... Dyslexia is more than reading, writing, it has to do with memory, processing, basic ordering of ideas in daily life, and if what you said about knowing the answers, and reading for him and he fully understands, I would seriously look to this for some starting solutions. *studies say that if you can begin to train the brain as it is developing new pathways will "grow" as the child develops, so early intervention is recommended. (that is what i read and it spurred me on to really work to make a difference for him)
He was dx with a "SLD", or specific learning disability, although only in 2nd grade. The meeting was overwhelming, but the IEP will be created and implemented next week. They want him help…NOW. I met with the Special Education teacher briefly and will meet with her again next week.
Still…just overwhelmed. Trying to wrap my head around everything.
It sounds like you are starting the process off on the right foot, especially given they were providing him 4 days of help with a reading specialist in the special ed dept before he was even tested. Did they talk to you about what further services he would receive?
I am lucky in that two of my best friends are special needs teachers and have guided me through this. I was able to scan and email both of them the reports as I got them and went into meetings armed with SO much information. Those reports have a lot of terminology that a 'lay person' would not understand.
We have had some hard days and its really making me realize just how hard parenting can be, and not in the traditional sense. We want our kids to be happy and confident at almost every moment. Anything less than that pains my heart, like when he comes home defeated after a standardized test. But I know we are doing everything we can and I try not to project too far into the future and just take things as they come. I get very overwhelmed when I try to think about how middle school/high school/his life beyond will be. He's brilliant and one of the smartest kids in his class, I keep that in mind and try not to let him get too frustrated that reading and spelling are not his strong subjects :-).
Best of luck, my advice is to also have him tested by a developmental pediatrician. It has really helped us stay in tune with the schools assessment and has made us more armed with info when we go into our annual meetings. Knowledge is power in this (and all) situations.
[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 2:33 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)]
"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."