In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
My Ex had A with co-worker. Found out when her H discovered. My Ex swore he loved me, wanted marriage. He took time off work so we could re-connect, etc. (found out later he was still in contact telling AP he needed to get things calmed down at home). He went back to work and she was there in his face, tempting him, how could he resist #sarcasm#. Of course, at AP's home, the story was that my Ex was constantly after her and wouldn't stay away. Then guess what? My Ex actually changed his job, and you know what? The A didn't stop. He's my Ex now, so you can guess the rest of the story.
You are doing all the right things by going to therapy and taking care of yourself, but you need to get ANGRY. He is an asshole who ignored you and your children for his own selfish interest. When I kicked my Ex out, I was scared, but it got easier when I started to see him for the steaming pile of shit that he was. When I stopped putting any blame on AP and put it all on Ex's shoulders. When I saw him, it become hard not to want to rip his head off. Eventually, I was able to be around him for short periods and he was just somebody that I used to know.
You have to process things in your own time and your own way, but for me, my real healing began when I got angry.
I'm sorry you are here and you and your kids are going through this. It sucks.
[This message edited by MyTurnATL at 7:13 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain