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User Topic: I'm so embarrassed-D W I
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:57 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was arrested for DWI tonight. I need help--other than not ever drinking again help--I need legal advice. How do I go about finding an attorney? What kind of trouble am I looking at.

I had a blow out; hit the guard rail. My car is undrivable. I blew a 1.0 (0.8 is the legal limit.)

What the fuck have I done to myself?? I don't need hugs; I need advice. I'm going to call my brother, the police office, later on this morning, but I need to be scared straight NOW! Any information would be greatly appreciated.

I am an idiot.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19963 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My divorce attorney's office also advertises that they do DWIs. Start with attorney's that you know and go from there.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 5:35 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your brother is going to be a good place to get advice. As an LEO, he would know the attorneys who are successful at defending these charges.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29568 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
clba317
♀ Member
Member # 8803
Default  Posted: 6:21 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll pm you the name of an attorney that my police officer ex mentioned after taking a police class from him. He wrote a book on dwi defense in NY.

[This message edited by clba317 at 6:22 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]


BS
DS9,DS5
M 11, D 8/1/05- not soon enough!

Posts: 217 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: NY
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad,

I know you don't want hugs but I wanted to give you one. (((((((SadinAZ)))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37129 | Registered: Sep 2007
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh no! I hope you are not hurt and am glad that no one else was involved.

You need a good attorney who regularly handles DWI cases in the local courts near you. The accident complicates things. If you had gotten pulled for rolling through a stop sign or hugging the white line and blew a 1.0, there would have been a good chance of pleading down to the lesser included offense, which is driving while impaired. A local attorney will know the prosecutors, judges, and the plea policies of the office when an accident is involved.

It may also help if this is a first offense and there is an opportunity to go to alcohol related counseling or some other type of program.

The main thing is that no one was hurt and that it was scary enough that this won't ever happen again.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2750 | Registered: Jan 2011
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First off, glad you're OK.

I agree, your brother will be the best source for a good attorney.

Let's break this down. First offense, right? Not that you'll get a slap on the wrist, but from my experience with my X, first offenses are handled way differently than repeat offenses. You could probably Google minimum charges in NY. The big thing is how they categorize it - i.e., misdemeanor vs. felony.

There will probably be added charges for the damage to property. You may also have to pay for the guardrail.

ETA: Get the best lawyer you can afford. You'd be amazed at what they can do behind the scenes.

Here are some hugs anyway.

(((((Sad)))))


AJ's MOM

[This message edited by ajsmom at 7:35 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21039 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((sadinaz)))

I second all the advice re: the attorney. Please don't panic, it's going to be okay. These things happen and we all know it wasn't intentional. I'm glad you weren't hurt.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3045 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no advice. Just wanted to say that I'm glad that you are not hurt.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Sad)))))

It will be OK.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2625 | Registered: Jan 2010
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

clba gave me a referral,and I've spoken to two of the attorneys. I'll probably go the plea bargain route and get a conditional license. I don't know where I'll get the money, but it has to be done. I'm so desperately embarrassed.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19963 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No advice here either but wanted to say I'm so glad you're okay, Sazzy.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15379 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
deeplysad
♀ Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The main thing is that you're okay. Somehow the rest of it will work itself out.

(((Sad)))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3223 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mother and brother both have been arrested for DWIs. My mom, if I recall correctly, had to take some driving courses, and the second time she ended up spending the night in jail. She has been in at least one accident such as your own where she drove into someone's fence. However, she is very savvy with money, and just paid out of pocket for the damages. This was over a decade ago. I am grateful that she no longer drinks the way she used to, because it would terrify me whenever she would drive.

My idiot brother was arrested and kept in jail for a bit because he was driving while intoxicated and had warrants out for unpaid tickets. He married his girlfriend and straightened up.

On an unrelated note, I teased them both for their arrests once and they chided me, and said that I shouldn't be so smug... a month later I was arrested for an unpaid speeding ticket. I remember the humiliation of that quite well.

Is this the first time?

How often do you drink, btw?

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 2:00 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1202 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
scaredyKat
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Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In NJ first offense is 3 mos to 18 mos with no license, hefty fees, driver's classes, installation of a monitoring device after the license is reinstated. It is dependent on the level of alcohol when tested and amount of property damage if any.

If you get off with a provisional license in NY, that's light.

So glad no one was hurt.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3383 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NY is known for being hard-assed about DUI/DWI .. so the attorney route is your best bet.

Were you at a bar or a friend's house before the accident?

Start now with an AA meeting, so when you do go to court you can say "I'm being proactive, I'm attending AA" May help lessen your fine.

Good luck ..


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Saz))) I'm so sorry to hear this, very glad nobody was seriously hurt.

Hard lessons.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17286 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry I have no advice. I'm really glad you're ok. I just want to gently suggest that you not beat yourself up throughout this process. As we've advised countless others, committing to learn from this is the path out. It's going to be hard, but you have the right attitude about wanting to be scared straight. Something tells me you're never going to go through this again.

(((SadinAZ)))


If you can't learn to enjoy your life when you have problems, you may never enjoy it because we'll always have problems. - Joyce Meyer

Posts: 16840 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As far as drinking is concerned, I sometimes have a drink before I go to bed since I started working nights; the OTC sleep meds make me foggy for an entire day afterward. I've been experimenting with lower doses, but I'm still not there yet.

I may go out to eat once every two weeks and have 1 1/2 beers; that's my limit--until last night. I made a very bad decision. I went to see a band that I like, but I didn't read the advert well. I got to the bar at 8 and the band didn't start until 10. I had never been to this bar before, and it was in an unfamiliar town. After I ordered my first beer, I saw a sign that said $20 minimum for credit cards--I never carry cash. I should have just laid down the $20 and gone home, but I figured I'd be there for at least 3-4 hours and I should be able to handle the beers; obviously not.

I will talk to the atty tomorrow about AA. I'm not a fan of 12-step programs, but if it helps my case, I'd do it. I don't need an alcohol intervention; I need a life intervention. I've been making poor choices lately.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19963 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Admitting there is a problem is the first step, so I will say that is good to see. I am so glad you didn't hurt an innocent driver (or yourself) - people who drive drunk don't do so with the intentions of hurting anyone but all too often that is the result.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3535 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
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