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User Topic: I'm so embarrassed-D W I
♂ Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, Sazzy.

Shit happens. You'll get through this.

It will be expensive. Listen to your attorney's advice.

I happen to know a bunch of people with DWI's, and all of them got their license back after legal fees, suspensions, driving school, etc.

The first time.

I strongly recommend there not be a second time. It gets ugly, fast.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Giving you hugs anyway.
NOW that I've hugged you, [[[shaking you]]], what the hell??? You could have been killed, or you could have been the one to live the rest of your life in prison for killing someone else.

I know we don't KNOW each other, but I care about you and I'm not talented at sugarcoating.

PLEASE, make better choices. We could have lost you. You have been through enough BS in your life already. I am so glad you are ok and so shocked to be reading all of this. Good luck in court.

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2332 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you; yes I do know better. Saying it will never happen again is empty because this is ruinous right now. The financial implications alone could do me in. But I'm actually happy that I'm not involved with anyone; I couldn't face that further embarrassment.

This is a stupid action that I shouldn't have to learn from.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20281 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Saz )))

Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.

Posts: 6525 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Sazzy, that is certainly a scary wake-up call.

I know people who have messed up worse and pulled through wiser for it.

Sending strength and legal mojo. So glad you are ok.

Posts: 3445 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
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Member # 18764
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am glad you are ok and that no one was physically hurt.

I don't have anything to say that would add to what everyone else has already said.

I know several responsible, respectable adults who have made the same error in judgment and they have gotten through the legal difficulties, made the restitution and moved on wiser and are ok.

TH is right. A first offense is a whole different animal than a second offense. I'm sure there won't be a second.

There are lawyers who specialize in DWI's and everything is basically done behind the scenes.

Just sending support.

Me:BW 48
FWH: 50

Married 25 years
DD 23 DS 21

Posts: 12696 | Registered: Mar 2008
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whilst you might not want it, I am going to give you a forced hug (((Sad in AZ))). The hug is not for the situation you find yourself in but for the maturity to accept you did wrong.

I am in Australia, here they do a breathalizer then blood test to check alcohol level. There are so many variations from breathalizer eg cavities that they are not actually permitted in court. Hence the requirement for a Blood Alcohol Content blood test.

I hope your brother was helpful and you identify a good lawyer. Learn from this. It was fortunate that your accident didn't involve anyone else.

Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

Posts: 751 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
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Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course I'm going to ((Hug)) you lady.

First, and most importantly, no one was hurt. Second, 0.10 is not too bad, especially if the prosecutor believes that the tire blew out by pure chance. Third, if you have a clear history, your age is helpful to you. You're a nice lady, all american Grandma.

Fourth, absolutely get a reputable attorney in the jursidiction. It won't be cheap, but it will be worth it.

Fifth, I would not argue against jumping into AA right away - talk to your attorney, of course, but from what I know, any pre-emptive strike to show effort in taking responsibility for your drinking will help - and AA is the cheapest route.

Last, as someone else pointed out, every jurisdiction has a general unpublished guideline on how they handle first DWI's, and you can't control that. But, if you have an attorney who has strong relationships with the prosecutors office, you are in the best position possible under the circumstances.

Be kind to yourself - shit happens - and much more frequently than others might think. ((Hugs))

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
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Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. Oh Saz. Suck!!!! This gonna cost more than the $20 min. Gla you are ok and no serious physical harm to yourself. As I grew up with a dad that ripped his nose off his face from driving drunk and having a best friend whose father was killed by a drunk driver I am glad that you only blew two tents above legal.
Remember 15 years ago what you blew was standard low level illegal.

I do know that input states of you pay the right attorney enough money you can get off of most ofte consequences. So at worst you may have to get a second job to pay for it.

((( and strength ))

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
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Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Oh, wow...I know this is massive. However, the situation is a bit of a "there but for the grace of God go I" situation for an awful lot of people. You're no scofflaw nor irresponsible...I get that after so long here on SI. You're human and you made just enough of an error in judgment... I have no doubt you would never have gotten behind the wheel if you thought you were impaired!

A good attorney is probably key. We've been in a couple of situations where it felt like, "we can't afford to pay that much!" only to figure out we couldn't afford NOT to.

I DO think your being a first-time offender is important, as well as the fact that you weren't miles over the legal limit. The guardrail-hitting part is not good, but a tire blow-out should be an easily verifiable fact...I assume this was documented by the police?

One of my FWH's older sons got charged w/ a DWI a couple years ago in SC; the charges got reduced to reckless driving if I'm remembering correctly...and he was stupid and ran his mouth at the arresting officer.

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3890 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
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Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
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Member # 42541
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sadinAZ - I'm sorry you are going through this.. I'm glad no one got hurt...

I would try Melatonin.. it's a natural sleep aid and doesn't cause fogginess in the mornings or throughout the day....

DDay ~ 2/23/13

Posts: 163 | Registered: Feb 2014
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Just sending you support and love...hang in there.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 198255 | Registered: May 2002
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Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My nephew went through a program that's called A.R.D. here in PA. He completed a program and it was expunged from his record.

I'm sorry. You've been through worse, and came through the other side. Just put your head down and get through it.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
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Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sazzy ... you have good advice, just wanted to say that I'm sorry this happened.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21270 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
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Member # 12145
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG...(((((sad))))) glad you are okay..

That is why I do my drinking at home


I ♥ my Husband!!!

Posts: 2287 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Our happy place
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Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ditto what DS said. I too am glad you're okay.

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5973 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
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Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am bummed out for you! Hang in there, ok?

Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11295 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
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Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Sazzy))) I'm glad no one was physically hurt.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
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Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a scary thing to happen and huge wake up call. Listen, DH and I did this program once where we drank and did the breath test as part of a police DWI awareness program just around the time our DS was getting his license. It was to show you how few drinks cause you to blow over the legal limit. Well before this, both DH and I had a one drink rule - we would allow ourselves one drink with dinner and still drive home. When it came to be my turn to "blow" that night, I blew the limit after one (generous, to my eye) glass of wine. I was shocked. So the wine I would usually have with dinner wouldn't have been that generous of a size in any restaurant I've been to, but I took the point to be that often when you feel fine, you're still legally unsafe. I'm a small person so I can't even get away with a large glass of wine with dinner and safe driving. But had I had a blow out before that, and been tested on the scene, I could definitely have registered impaired and never known it.

But now you know and I'm glad you're taking it so seriously. You can't change what happened, but you can move forward much smarter from now on. Maybe this was meant to happen, without hurting anyone physically, to guard against anything worse happening in the future.

Posts: 3193 | Registered: Mar 2005
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