I really relate to this story as it has many similarities to my own. Admittedly I've only been with my husband for 25 years, but he is the only man I have ever been with and when he told me just over 4 months ago that he had had an ONS ten years ago, I felt like my own marriage had all been a lie. For the first three months, even though I was committed to R, I struggled to think about or talk about our marriage in normal conversation as I didn't know what is was any more - I didn't know how to describe or quantify it to myself let alone anyone else.
So as expected, I became quite sad that night and my husband was a little frustrated with me as he really felt that I shouldn't have watched the scene as he had known that it would upset me. As I explained to him, I figure that life from this point on will always be filled with triggers and often there won't be the opportunity to avoid them as they will come from nowhere.
All the same, it got me to wondering, should triggers where possible be avoided? Or is it better to accept that they are going to happen and deal with them as they come up?
Life goes on, and dealing with these issues will help you heal and make you stronger!
The good new is, that every trigger that you can face down will probably give you the ability to face another one and another one. And if you're like me, the impact will lessen over time and exposure.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Got around to watching the rest of the movie tonight and it was pretty unrealistic in how it all "resolved". Same day as the disclosure, wife tracks husband down and says that love isn't just about loving someone when it is easy, but loving someone with all their faults. (Not disagreeing with the sentiment, but...?) Husband instantly agrees, they kiss and dance the night away. Ahh, if only it was so easy!