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User Topic: violated
luvbug0915
♀ Member
Member # 22934
Flame  Posted: 7:57 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to cut my vacation short because my daughter needs me, see other thread...http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=523737
I spent the evening helping my daughter piece together the last several years of memories and arrived home at around 10pm last night to find my apartment broken into. They trashed the place looking for anything of value. Police report was done and maintenance boarded up the window but I couldn't stay there alone so I spent the night on an air mattress at my moms.
I'm about at the limit of what I can handle emotionally. I want to crawl in a hole but I have to be strong for my daughter.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMGosh Luvbug...

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Praying for strength for you.

(((Luvbug)))


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24451 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
luvbug0915
♀ Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live where I don't feel safe and I can't afford to move.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there somewhere you can stay short term?

Do you have a counselor you can speak to? Maybe the police can recommend a victims advocacy group?


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24451 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
luvbug0915
♀ Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'm going to stay with my daughter, her husband said I can stay as long as I need to. I'm going to see if my complex will let me move to a second or third floor unit.
I have IC tomorrow, just trying to hold it together until then.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry, honey. Sending you strength.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25052 | Registered: Aug 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((luvbug)))

I'm glad you can stay with your daughter. Sending hugs and strength.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17066 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
stronggirl72
♀ Member
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((luvbug)))

I am so, so sorry that this happened. Please know that I'm sending many prayers of strength.

I'm so glad you're seeing your IC tomorrow. Although it won't physically help, it is so tremendously cathartic to talk with someone about all you are dealing with -- even just one visit. Deep breath.


[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 11:07 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 154 | Registered: Oct 2012
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Luv)))

Continued prayers to you


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51940 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry to hear about this!
I'm glad you can stay with your daughter & her husband.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15193 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that happened! ((Hugs))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4470 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having your home invaded is so distressing. Have BTDT a couple times. Both times I moved. Just couldn't stay. If your complex doesn't have upper level units available stay with DD until you have saved up enough for a new place. Just mho. ((((luvbug0915))))


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How awful. I am so sorry.
Stay with your daughter until you can deal with going back. I'm glad you have a family support group!
(((luvbug)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2213 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
weeping willow
♀ Member
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is just awful! (((luvbug)))

Before Mr. willow retired, through most of our marriage, he traveled for work. I always kept a can of 20 foot jet spray wasp and hornet killer in every room of the house, and I always had a can of it on my night stand next to my bed.


BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years


Posts: 1793 | Registered: Feb 2009
luvbug0915
♀ Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went back today with my girlfriend and made a list of missing items for the insurance adjuster. We took a break and went to lunch and when we got back the place was swarming with police. The fuckers tried to get into my upstairs neighbors, they climbed up to her balcony and she walked in before they got in. She fired two shots at them but missed. When I left 2 hrs later the CSI team was there.
I'm at my daughters now, I won't be going back to my apartment until I'm ready to pack and move. This will be the 7th time in less than 5 yrs.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sister you need to take control of this situation It is very distressing to have your home invaded. Btdt. Got my first shotgun after. Got my first great Dane after too.

My point being we can't control what other people do but we can certainly make them not want to target you again. Please consider taking you concealed carry class ad start carrying. It will be a while before you will feel safe walking into an empty apartment/ home etc. also consider getting a shelter dog who is an adult an trained but Has a loud enough and deep enough bark to make an intruder stop and rethink making your home the choice.

I'm sorry you have been out through so much recently hang in there.

((( an strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
sad12008
♀ Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((luvbug0915)))

I'm so very sorry you're getting hit on all sides by all this badness. Sending you strength, though I know you are a strong (& brave!!) person. I'm thankful you weren't home when the break-in occurred, but I know it's an extraordinary violation. F*ckers.

Sending positive energy your way, and mojo for your DD.


"Everybody's life is hard. You look at life, and it's not a cakewalk. You've got to be able to bounce back." --Neil Young, father to two children with CP, another with epilepsy, and otherwise experientially qualified to comment

Posts: 3863 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
luvbug0915
♀ Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks to all for your positive energy and good thoughts.

tushnurse, I do have 2 dogs, in fact I am heavily involved in miniature schnuazer rescue. However, since I was out of town they weren't there (my ex kept them for me).
They aren't big dogs but they are both obnoxious and they will both bite to protect me and their barks are bigger than their bodies. I'm limited on other breeds because of allergies.

It is thought that the perps are teenage punks just looking to take what they can sell to their friends or pawn. I have 2 original, signed and numbered watercolors prints above my fireplace, probably the most expensive things I own besides my Macbook Air (which was with me) and they left those alone. No matter though, I won't be spending another night in that apartment, I have already promised my children and my bff.

My DD and SIL said I can stay as long as I need to but I'd prefer my own space sooner rather than later because I can't have my dogs here (they don't do kids and my grandson is just 2). XSO will keep them as long as he needs to, he has a large home with fenced yard and doggy doors and he loves them as much as I do so they are in good hands.

My boss has contacted the CFO and asked him to go to bat for me with the CEO/Owner to see if they will pay out some vacation in lieu of time off so I can have some money to pay for a move. I am hoping for a positive outcome of that. I had over 150 available before I took the 32 last week. I'll need a couple days this week to deal with apartment hunting, my daughter and a couple dr appts but I should still have at least 110 or more. Keep mojo coming for that, it could be what gets me in a much safer complex.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1038 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, February 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

More mojo on its way.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25052 | Registered: Aug 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Iwould be sure to let your current complex know that you fully expect to be reimbursed for all your time and trouble. If not then you will be contacting the BBB, and other outlets to get the word out that they don't keep their residents safe. Seriously.

Do you have Renters insurance too? They should help cover some of the costs to move due to being in a nonresidable apartment, because it is clearly not safe.

Mojo headed your way.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 29
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