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Newest Member: Tryin2staykewl (45320)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Don't know where to turn
♀ Member
Member # 35059
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

of course I HATE that this has made me "that person" who checks up on his stuff. I really don't want to have to do this!

Sweetie, here's the thing. We snoop because we happen upon something randomly OR our gut is screaming.

Either way, if something suspicious is found we are entitled (yes, I'm using the word ENTITLED) to keep looking. Cheaters can cover their tracks in every conceivable fashion and unfortunately, if we feel there is more, there usually is.

Never apologize for snooping. You two are getting married. Nothing should be off limits to you.

BW 53 WXH 56 & still bewildered
D-Day 9-15-11
Divorce 3-13-13

Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
~ Goethe

Posts: 506 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: the south
♀ New Member
Member # 42570
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, asked him about the email. Asked him if he had deleted "the email". He said yes. I asked if he would show me. He said yes, but that we had to look on his computer because he had deleted the account off his phone because he never used it (which is true... He had very little activity). Which is why I was able to find the offending email so easily,

We went in the office and he logged in with me standing right there over his shoulder. Password in full view and in box in full view. He basically deleted everything that he had sent from that email (the one I found was the only questionable one).

We're on the same phone plan so I have access to all calls and texts. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Don't have access to finances but will in time.

Ok, so I feel weird but ok.... Not completely with him but not out either. Going to be a matter of vigilance now. Wish me luck... Keep you posted.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Several people have mentioned a polygraph test because as the others have said, the Oscar-worthy performances these liars put on are nothing short of miraculous.

I think he'd fail a polygraph.

Someone up there gave you the gift of SIGHT before you marry this man. Don't ignore the red flags waving.

I did. I shouldn't have.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1804 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two things:

First thing that really bothers me is the timing of when he made that appointment. As you said, you guys were in a very emotional time (good way)in your relationship. That is the last thing that should of been on his mind. It is different if you had a huge fight and he did it out of spite/anger.....but to be at a blissful time.....that worries me. Whether he went or not, it not prove'able. But he had the intentions because he took the steps and set it up.

Secondly, is the advice you have recieved to proceed very cautiously. When I was dating my Ex. This "package" showed up in the mail. It was pictures and a response type letter from some international dating thing (or buy-a-bride set up). I was all over him about it. He said he did that before we even got together and she was just a late replier.

I believed it. Wanted to believe it. Could make it make sense in my head. We can justify away anything when our heart wants too.

Just please be careful - there are many of us on here that wished we would of trusted the symptoms enough early on when they were there.

Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.

Posts: 2173 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Topic Posts: 24
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