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Newest Member: Devestatedbeyond (44583)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Smh, I was doing so well
tryin2bhappy
♀ New Member
Member # 36505
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no clue where I am in this process. Dday was the beginning of Aug 2012, wow that seems so long ago, and I still have a hard time moving forward. I filed for divorce Jan 2, 2014 but not with out some regrets. Parts of me still want my marriage to work despite the problems. However WH has been pretty much out of the pic for the last year with a text here and there asking about our son. He lost his job here and moved back to his hometown shortly after our separation. He doesn't even visit, he says due to finances :-/
I started feeling some longing towards him during the holiday, and chalked it up to that being the reason. However, it just didn't seem to go away. Some friends of mine convinced me to share my feelings with him. Well it appears as if that opened a wound of mines that wasn't completely healed. We were suppose to meet today to discuss things further but he was a no show.
Im unsure of how Ive made so much progress then allowed myself to backslide so far in such little time. I thought I was doing so well, but in the end I was only fooling myself :-(


Married 9/19/09
DDay 8/5/12
Separation 1/19/13
Divorce filed 1/2/14
Divorce Final 3/24/14
Moving right along, whether I want to or not

Posts: 16 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Atlanta
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, February 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like you are hitting the loneliness wall .. please do yourself a huge favor and write down all the reasons you don't want him in your life. Just the fact that he bailed on you would be enough for me ... just sayin'

((tryin2bhappy))


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some friends of mine convinced me to share my feelings with him.
This was a terrible, terrible idea. Please do not listen to friends who have not been through infidelity. They have no idea and will give you very damaging advice. Ask us here instead. We have been through it.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3276 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, his actions tell you everything, don't they? ((hugs))

(and don't listen to those friends again, no matter how well meaning they are)


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 836 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was a terrible, terrible idea. Please do not listen to friends who have not been through infidelity. They have no idea and will give you very damaging advice. Ask us here instead. We have been through it.

What Sparky said. Don't share anything with him anymore. I know it is hard, but he doesn't deserve you!!!!

please do yourself a huge favor and write down all the reasons you don't want him in your life

Grab a piece of paper....shit, grab a pad of paper and write down all the negative things about him and all he has done to you and when you doubt that you deserve better, grab that paper and read it!!!!


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 313 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to chime in with all the other comments. My IC had me write down what OW was really getting. I ended up with a 2 page Word doc. It was very helpful to me and I reread mine almost daily. Please do this for yourself. I also agree with the others about your friends' advice. I come here with my stuff, and I know a couple of other women locally that this has happened to that can relate. When talking with those that know what it is like to go through infidelity, we talked about how others don't understand our situation. Best of luck to you with this.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
tryin2bhappy
♀ New Member
Member # 36505
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to get on this right away, however I think I will write both sides of the list. The why's and why not's.
On another note, I would like to know more about these stages. So I can understand the processes that Im going through/


Married 9/19/09
DDay 8/5/12
Separation 1/19/13
Divorce filed 1/2/14
Divorce Final 3/24/14
Moving right along, whether I want to or not

Posts: 16 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Atlanta
Topic Posts: 7

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