...i felt nothing, except that i felt proud of that girl for dealing with everything i was handed. i felt forgiving toward the scared little girl who came in and ranted her most shameful feelings and resentments.
i felt healed. i feel healed. and i dealt with some pretty serious crap. still do (OC's never go away, co-parenting is annoying, xWH is still an idiot, but not so much of an idiot that i can eliminate him from our lives.) the only grief i still struggle with is that i only got a chance to have one child and my chances are gone now. eh. i'm getting over that too.
check out my profile for a story. i remember Jan 1 of 2010. i sat down and told myself to strap in and just survive the year. that it would suck but at the end, i'd have to be in a different place than i was at that starting moment. that year was long. long like i had needles stuck in my eyes the whole time. long and aching with physical, emotional and spiritual pain. it is part of a couple of what i call the lost years.
but my life is great. no kidding. the best it's ever been. you can get there too.
good luck, all of you
[This message edited by stretch13 at 5:41 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)]
life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone - j. kerouac
And glad to hear you are healing well.
You have healed so much in these years. Thank you for reminding everyone how it does it get better.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
on my worst days, i would decide just to survive, and keep my baby alive. at the end, i'd say to myself, "there, time passed." sometimes that's all i had to go on.
you'll get there. in the meantime, keep your expectations of yourself low. this is some kind of crazy-maker.