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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Relevant article: Boundaries
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-only-people-who-take-issue-with-you-having-boundaries-are-the-ones-who-need-your-boundaries-the-most/?utm_source=feedly&utm_reader=feedly&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-only-people-who-take-issue-with-you-having-boundaries-are-the-ones-who-need-your-boundaries-the-most

Some good quotes for those learning not to let their STBX walk all over them (but really - read the whole article, it's a good one) :

The only people who take issue with you having boundaries, are the ones who need your boundaries the most

A person whose personal values centre around love, care, trust, respect, integrity and essentially owning their own and letting others own theirs, while also being able to practise compassion, empathy, and conscientiousness, has no issue with you having healthy boundaries and will respect your right to assert your needs, expectations, wishes, feelings and opinions, just as much as they respect their own right.

Once you know and respect your own line and your limit, it means that not only can you relax and go about the business of being you and living your life...

You having boundaries is going to feel bad to you if you have an unrealistic expectation that your boundaries will force people to change their ways and if you keep looking for them to make you feel better about the fact that they crossed your line, when thatís like going into the lionís cage and expecting it not to bite you and then going back to reason with it and asking it to behave like a dog.

In reality, you only have to Ďstep upí for people who like to tap dance all over your boundaries...

Boundaries are there to guide you and others on what does and doesnít work for you. Not everything is ok with you hence your boundaries are your way of directing you out of harms way and towards healthy people and situations.

Healthy boundaries, which is basically treating and regarding you with love, care, trust, and respect and knowing your line and your limit so that you guide and direct others to treat you similarly or jog on, have a cumulative benefit. The more consistently you maintain them, is the more they pay off and you start to realise how good you feel


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13685 | Registered: Jul 2011
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent article. Thanks for sharing.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Baggage Reclaim is a great site for anyone navigating the waters of dating - but once in a while her stuff has some great applications to getting OUT of an unhealthy relationship too!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13685 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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