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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Saw the OC yesterday...feel weird
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't normally have occasion to see the OC, but yesterday when I was picking up the girls she (OC) was at the front door hugging my youngest goodbye. The OC is almost 2 now.

Seeing this was like a punch in the gut. It made me feel so weird. Like, here is this kid who knows nothing about the circumstances under which she was born...who knows if she ever will and if that will be a cross for her to bear. And my kids love her, I'm sure. But I wonder what they think of her birth...

I feel...I don't know what I am feeling, really. I don't know what the emotion is. I think it's triggering my PTSD actually. I have not felt this unsettled for a while. I don't like feeling this way.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't imagine how that must feel.

I hate when those surprises pop up every once in a while.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3314 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((nutmeg))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25060 | Registered: Aug 2011
GingerAle
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((nutmegkitty))))


My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014


Posts: 404 | Registered: Nov 2011
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That has to be brutal to see and makes my heart sink for you. I'm so sorry.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1459 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would imagine it's difficult to see something so innocent and precious that came from so much pain and destruction. I'm so sorry.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1538 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((nutmegkitty))

My ex has said that his OC will never know the truth, and that they plan to tell her that she was wanted and loved and mommy and daddy just couldn't get along anymore and that's why they aren't together. I know your situation is a little different from mine. It sucks no matter which way you cut it.

[This message edited by Whalers11 at 9:54 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)]


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Feb 2010
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That would gut me. Totally gut me. To see an innocent, beautiful child but know that her creation was part of my destruction and the destruction of my children?

(((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9536 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nutmeg)))

Posts: 34748 | Registered: Mar 2011
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can totally understand why this would bother you. I would feel gutted as well.

I have a feeling that an OC will come along at some point for me as well and it's going to hurt. I know Hello Kitty wants a baby and it will make me sick that my children will have to be related to something these two scumbags have created.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 879 | Registered: Mar 2013
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((nutmegkitty))

I totally understand. I have only seen pics of the most recent OC. She is about 1.5 years with a sweet, innocent expression. She will never know the utter destruction her birth contributed to. I will likely never seen her (thank goodness) and hope I never do. She is innocent in all this and didn't ask to be brought into the world, but her very presence rips my guts out simply because of what it symbolizes.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank god you guys get it. It helps. I took a klonopin today and it helped too.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 12

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