3 amazing kids (22, 20 & 17)
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.
Right after I found out, I quickly said it would take a while, but I would forgive. And I began the steps to moving forward in the relationship.
It's been almost 2 years. There have been secrets I have found about recently- but they happened 2 years ago around d-day. Since then, he has basically been great except for his drinking.
I realized about 9 months ago that I was wrong- I never forgave H, and I don't think I am going to get there. I promised to forgive him, but I don't, and I can't.
You have more strength than me, with an exit strategy. So far, my plan has been sitting still and living an unsatisfying life. Hang in there
At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
At least you have the honor and integrity not to cheat first.
Good luck and stay strong.
For the last year, he has been really nice. Maybe he senses that I am about done with him.
I am stuck at the moment because I am a SAHM who home schools the children. We have a big family, so financially it's not a good time. But I am taking midwifery classes, and I'm going to the gym every day, and sometimes twice a day. And I've lost about 40 lbs recently on the trim and healthy mama diet.
I am working on me, and I'm going to get healthy and strong and no one is ever going to treat me like this again.
Are you financially ok?
I think I have detached from him while living with him. I don't think I will feel any pain when I finally get rid of him.
Empowered is such a beautiful word.
I am another member of the "class of 2011."
My Dday was in May 2011. I never thought I could take back someone who would gut me like WH did.
I asked WH to leave on Dday, & we were separated for 4+ months,
while he continued contact with OW ( who he still works with.)
I forced myself to go back with him
(once I believed that the A was finished),
to keep the family together for the kids.
I know that I made the right decision for the kids.
A 6 year sacrifice for my kids (who I love more than anything in the world) is nothing.
I still love WH, & our day-to-day relationship is better than it was during the couple of years before Dday.
But, he is not really working that hard in R, & I don't know if the love that I have for him will be enough for me for the rest of my life.
We will have an empty nest in 3 1/2 years.
Then I will re-evaluate.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 8:12 PM, March 2nd (Sunday)]
He's a mommas boy and she does no wrong and he's the perfect son..
He doesn't even see it. If he does he chooses to be silent. Part of his R issues. He's avoids confrontation like the plague.
One thing that I have learned from this site tho is that it can take a really really long time for WS to "get it"----it can be a long process. WH is making slow as molasses progress----our MC keeps telling me to be patient, to look where he started from (head buried deep deep deep in the sand) & how far he has come from there.
I am still hoping for a miracle.