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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How long before an A is considered a long term?
Katz13
♀ Member
Member # 41886
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just wondering if it is a time requirement to consider an A an LTA or is it an intensity thing? Thoughts?

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One year.


Me (BW) (54), Him(SAWH) (57)
Married 21 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1429 | Registered: Nov 2010
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wondering if it is a time requirement to consider an A an LTA or is it an intensity thing

It is considered a LTA based on the length of the affair. It's never been completely clear to me about how long before an affair is considered a LTA. My FWW's affair was 3 years and I consider it a LTA. However, I know there are SI members that had to deal with affairs that went on for decades.

Whatever the length of time/intensity you are dealing with, if you feel you would be better served by calling your WS's affair a LTA, then I don't think anyone would object. There is a LTA thread in the I Can Relate forum you may find helpful. Perhaps you can read some of the posts there and see if they relate to your situation.

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 12:03 AM, March 3rd (Monday)]


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Posts: 5624 | Registered: Aug 2007
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

if you feel you would be better served by calling your WS's affair a LTA, then I don't think anyone would object.


This ^^. There's no technical definition for the duration of an Affair. Two months was WAY to long in my book, but in my heart I don't consider it a LTA so I don't call it that. Some people use the year as a marker, but you get to call it whatever makes sense to you.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16451 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 4

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