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Newest Member: Lovelost26 (45077)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anniversary today
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Six years ago today I said "I do" to a man I never really knew. I was so happy. I thought I'd found my forever, finally. I had no idea I was committing my life to someone who would turn out to be the worst person I've ever met.

One year ago we "celebrated" with a very awkward and non-romantic dinner date. He was so distant and cold, well into his affair and no doubt wishing he was anywhere else. I knew we were having problems but I had no idea what was truly going on.

This year I'm single. Alone, yes. But I also don't have all the nagging doubt and misery I was battling on this day last year. Feeling like the marriage was dying and being totally helpless to save it. This year its cut and dry. The marriage is dead. Buried. Grass has grown back over the gravesite and it's not a fresh, gaping wound anymore.

I'm glad to get another "first" behind me. First Valentines and first birthday last month sucked. This is actually a piece of cake compared to that double-whammy.

The rest of the day is full. I'm working now and this evening (like most Mondays) I'm doing two classes at the gym with some friends: strength training followed by Zumba. Of course, the day ain't over yet...but so far I think I'm doing okay.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 870 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((gypsybird)))

I am glad you think you are ok. I think you are awesome!

Happy "day to celebrate YOU."


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5842 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The firsts all suck. Any okay that you think you are doing on those days is a major victory.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1992 | Registered: Jan 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy for you. I can't wait for that grass to start growing on my end!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Zumba hip rotations, Baby!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((gypsy)))


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 764 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all.

Happy Zumba hip rotations, Baby!

Zumba is definitely one of the best anti-depressants I've found!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 870 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Duskpearl
♀ Member
Member # 41870
Wink  Posted: 3:30 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH bday is the same day as your anniversary! He & the OW went away for the weekend as they did 2 weeks before that to celebrate Valebtine's Day! Ironically, he never cared much about celebrating his bday & thought bdays were for kids. And he was never that big on Valentine's Day either & after 12 years together it wasn't even acknowledged in the later years!

Our last anniversary was spent in NY (10 yrs last Nov), it was also strained as 2 weeks prior I found some emails to a co worker. It was way too late to cancel the trip. Within the first week of arriving home it was over & he practically moved right in with the she bloke OW!

Like you I thought I married the man I would be with for life. We were so happy & he loved me so much. But something changed inside him & I no longer know who he is.

I'm alone also but have to remind myself that towards the end I was actually alone when I was with him....

(((hugs)))


Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows

Posts: 65 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Australia
Caretaker1
♂ Member
Member # 42777
Default  Posted: 3:54 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Approaching first anti versary first also. I care but don't. I too was alone in a marriage. I too had a weak 10 year anniversary where I planned fun things and she took little effort to enjoy the milestone. She moved on with another divorcee and Disney dad playing house. Wishing some days they get engaged and others just shaking my head over a lifetime of shared custody. Many cluster b and bipolar traits too much rage walking on eggshells.

It's drama each week and bullying. Doing my best to keep minimum contact.


Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2014
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((gypsy)))

The first one is really rough. The first one after the D wasn't as rough, oddly.

Glad you have a full & fun day planned for yourself.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Topic Posts: 10

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