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Newest Member: 4hazel (45322)

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User Topic: Spousal Criticism
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No one thing in particular, just 2-3 things every day for no obvious reason.

It just.gets.old.

"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21264 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
♀ Member
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel completely destroyed by the way wh speaks to me. The example is this:

Since getting the baby belly. I am as large at 20 weeks as I was when dd was full term (twins will do that). Some days I just stand sideways looking in the mirror in awe of how quickly my body has changed and how beautiful it is.

Wh comment "yes dear you ARE fat!".

If dd says anything about how large my tummy is wh is sure to comment that mommy is getting fat.

In reality I am not. I have actually been steadily losing weight to the point of having the doc weigh me twice at my checkups.

I have told wh thy his comments are hurtful but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears. Only when I turned the tables and made a comment on the body of a man in a movie did he seem to get it...

Posts: 3055 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think this might be a case of having to call her on it every time. Come up with a gentle stock reply like "I'm sorry you feel that way."

If she isn't intending to be shitty, this should clear up for her how often it's happening.

If she is intending to be shitty it sends the message that you are no longer going to play along with covert criticism.

Posts: 3443 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, March 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah I get it. Unfortunately after being around her mother I know where it comes from.

Damn, we should interview prospective inlaws.

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Topic Posts: 24
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