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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He was my one and only...
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was divorced one year before I had sex with another man, but I hadn't had sex with my husband in 2 years I don't think. THANK GOODNESS!! I'm one of the rare ones who didn't have to worry about STDs since I really don't think there was any overlap if I have the timeline straight. Anyway...

So that was a 3 year break!

I had been with the same man for 14 years emotionally and of course physically. When I went on my first date after divorce, I totally felt like I was cheating on my now ex by holding this gentleman's hand in public! It was SO weird. Like someone was going to see me and tell on me.

It took another month of going out in public to finally relax and realize it was a-ok to be openly affectionate with someone other than my ex. Too bad he didn't feel the same way and chose to have an affair in his public circle. UGH!

Anyway....I was in a committed and loving relationship when I decided to have sex with him and didn't feel guilt at all by that point.

You will get there if you give yourself time. There is no reason to rush.

[This message edited by I.will.survive at 3:37 PM, March 8th (Saturday)]


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
burnedcanuckEMS
♀ Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Unfortunately for me, all of my former boyfriends were better in bed than X. But, again, I told myself that thing about him being a good man. He wasn't so bad I couldn't stand it. He was very good at a couple of things. But I wasn't attracted to him and didn't want to do it all the time like I was with some of my other lovers. But I thought maybe that's just M. Maybe I'm getting older...

^^^^^Ditto what she said! ^^^^^^^^^
Weird that I would read this thread this morning as my mind was wandering this morning thinking back to when I accepted exH's proposal. I recall thinking that I supposed this relationship was as good as things were going to get so I may as well just marry him. What a foolish way to think. I never was attracted to him physically and even though he used to try hard in bed the attraction just wasn't there. As his emotional torment and abuse got worse near the end the worse things got in bed. The frequency remained normal (a few times a week) but the quality was not good.

I had previous boyfriends that were very good in bed so I knew what I was missing all those years. About a month and a half after Dday I had my first romp with a guy I wound up dating for seven months. I was very attracted to him and one night things just happened. It was AMAZING I didn't give any thoughts to my imperfections either because in the moment it just didn't matter. I also remember saying to him after "I can't believe I went almost 12 years without sex like this!!!". Lucky guy he got the benefit of all those years of pent up energy LOL!

Unfortunately that rebound relationship didn't end well, now I am approaching one year celibate. I know when the right guy comes along there will be fireworks and at this point I refuse to settle for anything less.


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 234 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weird that I would read this thread this morning as my mind was wandering this morning thinking back to when I accepted exH's proposal. I recall thinking that I supposed this relationship was as good as things were going to get so I may as well just marry him. What a foolish way to think. I never was attracted to him physically and even though he used to try hard in bed the attraction just wasn't there. As his emotional torment and abuse got worse near the end the worse things got in bed. The frequency remained normal (a few times a week) but the quality was not good.

This is so me, too. (Sorry for the t/j).

I have one old boyfriend who just settled down a couple of months before DDay. God, if he had still been single when I found out, I would have been knocking on his door THAT NIGHT. Healthy behavior? No. But it would have been fun (after 10 years of being pent up!).

I've decided I'm never going to settle again. I did this last time and it bit me in the ass. I'm going to hold out...


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first time off the bus after D? I promise, XH was the furthest thing from my mind

^^THIS!!

He wasn't my only but I never expected to be single again. It felt weird at first as I jumped in waaaay to soon but it felt good to reclaim my body, my sex.

I've noticed that I'm different now than when I was last single in my 20s - I have more intimacy with my lovers than I ever had with the sad clown. I can't believe how long I went without it.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5441 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

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